You really have to pity the poor guy who saw a finger cot and thought it was a condom, though.
Could have been worse, she could have found a bone. Besides being chewy it was a little stiff. Chewing something like that has to be hard on the teeth. Clam chowder is becumming one of that restaurants favorites. Perhaps clams practice safe sex too.
. . . Not one compliment on my thread title? I was so proud of it, too . . .
It’s cute, but I’ve never heard of Manhattan clam chowder.
Could someone with better joke-making skills than me work something up around the theme of “bearded clams”? Thanks.
Ah, so the “bearded clams” on the menu wasn’t a typo for “breaded clams” after all…
Although Laila may claim her suit is in the interests of public health, we all know she’s bringing it for shellfish reasons.
Ooh, I’ve got one, I’ve got one!
Perhaps it was *bearded clam chowder.
Hah!
Curses! Foiled by my bungled coding! It would be much funnier with proper italics.
Basically, it’s tomato-based, not cream-based, so it’s red.
Never eat it myself, though.
This reminds me of something I read in my copy of The Mammoth Book of Tasteless Lists:
In March 1992, an American bread company was taken to court after a woman in Los Angeles found a used condom in a large loaf. In 1997: Dalvin Stokes sued the Morrison’s cafeteria in Winter Haven, Florida. He had discovered a condom in his sweet potato pie. Also in 1997: Jeff Bolling sued a McDonald’s drive-in restaurant in Hoover, Alabama. He had bitten into what he thought was a pickle, but it was in fact a rolled-up condom.
F_X
I’ve worked in restaurants for years, and the only people I’ve ever seen who use finger cots are people who’ve injured/cut their fingers; they wear them to prevent bleeding in/on the food.
Which makes her ordeal just as gross as if it were a condom. 
Pshaw. Condoms are sooo yesterday. I hear Tre Chique down the road serves vibrators with their clam chowder.
Who put the condom in Mrs. Murphy’s chowder?!
Maybe the guy in the kitchen couldn’t think of another way to ask her out …
Waiter #1: “Damn, that was hot. I’ve never had sex on a steam table before.”
Chef: “Hot…steam table…Ha, ha, ha…I get it. Now get back to work. What should I do with the rubber?”
Waiter #1: “Throw it in the soup for all I care…”
And now you know the rest of the story.
Paul Harvey…good day.
Trojan Clam!
I always thought “Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup,” refered to an insect, not a zipper.
Laila Sultan gave a party
At McCormick’s Chowder House.
Everything was plentiful,
McCormick, he’s no louse.
They treated us like ladies;
We tried to act the same,
If it weren’t for what happened…
Well, it was a doggone shame.
When Mrs. Sultan dished the chowder out,
She fainted on the spot;
She found a rolled-up condom
At the bottom of the pot.
McCormick, he got roaring mad,
His eyes were bulging out,
He jumped onto the piano
And loudly he did shout:
“Who threw the overalls
In Mrs. Sultan’s chowder?”
Nobody spoke, so he
Shouted all the louder.
“It’s a rotten trick that’s true,
I can lick the drip that threw
The condom in Mrs. Sultan’s chowder.”
They dragged the rubber out of the the soup
And laid it on the floor;
Each man swore upon his life,
He’d ne’er seen it before.
It was plastered up with mortar
And had patches on the end,
It’d had its many ups and downs
Ad had a lewftward bend.
And old McCormick, he came to,
He b’gan to cry and pout,
He’d yanked it off his dick last night
And forgot to throw it out.
Mrs. Sultan, she called for the law
And what she said that night,
We put music to her words
And sang with all our might:
“Who threw the condom
In Mrs. Sultan’s chowder?”
Nobody spoke, so we
Shouted all the louder.
“It’s a rotten trick that’s true,
And we’ll lick the drip that threw
The condom in Mrs. Sultan’s chowder!”
This is the Chef’s Special Chowder.
I ususally prefer to add my own condiments.