Ok, Siegfried and Roy weren’t available and training an Orang-Utan turns out to be a lot more difficult than I originally thought, so I’ve had to change my plan B.
So here it is: Blatant ass-kissing.
Our Cecil, who art in Chicago,
trademarked by thy name.
Thy wisdom come, thy wit be sharp
on the web as it is in the Reader.
Give us this day our daily enlightenment. And
forgive us our ignorance, as we forgive those who trespass against intelligence.
And lead us not into empty-headedness, but deliver us from urban legends.
For thine is the Straight Dope, and the sageness,
and the cleverness, forever.
Amen
Hey Bratma…er…Crunchy Frog, I don’t think you’re going to get Cecil to welcome or even recognize you. I think he’d sooner welcome someone else, maybe even me.
Well, that may not be true, but that’s how it seems to be.
actually i’d say blatant ass-kissing is probably one of the worst ways to get Unca Cece to come out and welcome you. i’m sure he exults in your desperation. can’t you imagine him sitting in his palace, chortling to himself at all the crazy things people will say just to get him to make an appearance? you’re just feeding his already (deservedly) bloated ego, Crunchy Frog. i’d come up with something else, if i were you. but anything this unsubtle will surely never succeed.
I’m posting to this thread not because I am in support for your scheme, but because I missed Cecil when hoo ha tried. I’m sure Mully will be here shortly to express the same opinion.
On a another note, I was thinking of getting a Slug illustration blown up to human size and pasting it to poster board for the next SF gathering, giving it a Cecil nametag. You know, as an honorary seat and all. Maybe even buying it a beer and burning it in the parking lot afterwards, as a tribute.
Well I missed the boat on hoo-ha’s go at a welcome. Then I started a few threads like you: Crunchy Frog, to see if I could get him out of his bunker to welcome me–I failed. Then he popped up recently in the “What’s with the lame columns recently?” thread in the Comments on Cecil’s Columns forum. Rather than ask for a welcome, I asked if he’d tell me to F*ck off. Then he quoted me and called me an “Impudent Pimple.” (*See sig.)
I am so honored, and now one of the “rare select few” to be insulted by the master himself!
In a poll I recently conducted, 98% of all Cecils were perfectly willing to acknowledge me. For instructions on how to perform a margin of error computation, please see this thread.
Cecil is not worn out! Impossible.
No matter, I’m dleusional enough to keep this up anyway. I have a Plan C under way, it should be unveiled in a few weeks . . .
I’ll be sure to do that. Plan C is my best Plan by far (aside from the Siegfried and Roy thing, that definitely would’ve worked, but they didn’t want to leave Vegas. Bastards. I hope they get attacked by one of those tigers. I swear, you ask two magicians one favor involving them, a trained Orang-Utan, and 15 feet of ordinary garden hose and it’s all “Ve don’t know you. Who are you? How did you get into our dressing room? Security! Security!”
Sorry, I didn’t mean to go off there. But the straight forward request didn’t work. It doesn’t look like blatant ass-kissing is going to work. I now move on to the visual aid presentation. I’ll post a link when it’s all ready.
Y’know, just showing up in a thread so that Cecil can recognize you almost ensures that Cecil will show up to acknowledge everyone except you. Of course, having now pointed that out, he’ll likely show up just to acknowledge everyone except me. And having said that, he probably just won’t show up at all. It’s hard to be contrarian these days; so many people try to use it against you.
Burnings in effigy ALWAYS do it for me!