Okay, I’m back! Let’s go…
Holy hopping crap! What the heck happened here? The table… my shoe! Jeez, guys, I was only gone for a sec… hang on, let me get this straightened up a bit.
Stop jumping on me, or we’re never going to get to go walkies!
Pee pee? C’mon, let’s go pee pee! Outside … let’s go! Pee pee! Pee pee pee pee pee pee! Let’s go! Okay … do your poo poos! Let’s go poo poo! C’mon … poo poo! Let’s do poopies! Poo poo!
No walkies! Time to go lie on the couch, field with Infinite Amounts Of Woe. Maybe he’ll turn on Animal Planet, at least.
It’s the stick!! It’s the stick!!
Walkies? Walkies, huh? You wanna go for walkies?
Alright, we’ll go for walkies.
Oh by the way, you know how you yelled at me for knocking over the trash? Yeah well walkies is going to consist of me wandering around in circles, sniffing everything that stands still, for a half an hour and doing nothing else. Then you know what I’m gonna do? I’m gonna come back in here and take the biggest stinkiest dump I can muster right in the middle of the floor. What do you think of that, Mr. Walkies? Mr. I’m so tough I’ll yell at the dog. Mr. grab me by the scruff of the neck.
When’s dinner time, anyway?
MrVisible, you walking the dogs? Well, while you’re gone, I’m going to open up this big old bag of corn chips. Mmmm, corn chips. You want some corn chips, doggies?
Or do you want walkies?
Walkies or cornchips. I’m not opening the bag until MrVisible leaves, so you got to figure out which one you want.
Walkies or cornchips?
He said walkies, man, walkies, and look he’s got leashes and what is he waiting for? WALKIES! Wait - I see an ankle. Gotta chew the ankle. Maybe he’ll get going on walkies. You - go get his other one. rrrrnnnnawweerrrgnnnaaw c’mon c’mon c’mon…
Okay, that’s taken care of. Y’all are nutso. What’s getting you so riled up?
Oh, yeah… that W word. What was that… Waukegan? Washing machine? Wallabes? Wasp knees? Wait… walkies?
Wanna go walkies? Do ya?
Well, let’s go! What’re you waiting for?
(MrVisible makes sure all leashes are secure, and opens the front door.)
Hey! Quit pulling!
Are you still talking? I’m trying to sleep here.
<sheesh>
Yaaaaaawwwnnnnn.
Finally! We’re going for walkies! Hey, is that a tree? Wow, look at that tree. What a great tree. I wanna sniff the tree. Trees always smell so interesting.
Hey, don’t tug the leash, I’m not done sniffing around this tree!
Oh, wait a minute! Look at that tree! I bet that tree smells even better than this tree! I wanna sniff that tree too!
Oh look, a squirrel! Let go of the leash! Let go of the leash! There’s a squirrel in this tree and you’re holding me back! I want to get the squirrel! Let go of the leash!
hey! is that grass??? OH MY GOD!! danceofjoydanceofjoydanceofjoy uh what…go around the pole?
whoops ok, here we go…oh no…there’s the ANTICHRIST! (read: squirrel)mustkillmustkillmustkill
I know that if I bark non-stop for it will fall over dead, just like the ANTICHRIST in the house (read: vacum cleaner)
Hey, I was barking at the squirrel first, if he falls over dead, it’s because of me, not you! Find your own squirrel!
Btw, I must say your butt smells exceptional nice today, did you drag it on the carpet before we left?
batting eyes and wagging little nub of a tail furiously Why Mr. Frog, I thought you’d never notice!
And do I detect the delicate odor of something recently deceased that you’ve rolled in?
[slight hijack]
I will never, ever forget the look of sheer horror on my mother’s face when I asked her adopted-as-an-adult Golden Retriever if she wanted to go for “walkies.” The dog went nuts. This was a word we hadn’t known she knew. 
[end slight hijack]
C’mon, leave the squirrel alone.
Jeez, do you have to sniff everything? I mean, how interesting can it be? It’s dirt with pee on it.
Are you… oh my god, you are. You’re licking the grass. Get away from that.
Okay, let go of her leash. No. I’m walking her. I’m doing a fine job. I don’t need you to grab her leash. Let go. Thank you.
Jeez, do you have to sniff everything?