Wanna see my impersonation of our local drivers?

The BBQ Pit
1

Driving along, driving along, la di la di la da pick my nose, change the radio station, run over a squirrel, doop de doop de doop, oh my, what is that floating down from the sky? A snowflake? Oh no! It landed on the road! *squeeeeeal, crash! bang! crunch!

Now do you want to see my impersonation of the people who witness those accidents?

Driving along, driving along oh, look, that car just rolled over 6 times and burst into flames driving along, driving along hm, that looked kind of serious, maybe I should call my wife at home and see what she thinks driving along, dialing the phone, hey, honey, guess what I just saw?

And finally, my impersonation of that guy’s wife:

Dialing the phone, dialing the phone yeah, is this 911? yeah, my husband called me from his cell phone and said he just saw a wreck on the highway…which highway? I dunno, he’s on his way to work, can’t you just send somebody?

I’ve had a bad morning. :mad:

2

…which local? I dunno, can’t I just post?

3

I, too, would like more details. Specifically, how does the OP know about this?

4

If you had included a fallen leaf on the road, I’d have said you must live in the DC area, too.

5

Oh, did you attempt to drive on the GW Parkway this morning, too?

6

Nah, I’ve just lived here long enough to know that the typical driver takes about all autumn to remember how to drive in falling leaves and all winter to remember how to drive in snow.

The OP could be about anywhere that gets relatively little snow. In other words: below the 35th parallel and outside mountainous areas.

7

Ah, well, let me tell you it was a fun time. It took me an hour and a half to get from Rosslyn to Langley. Four car pileup over the Spout Run bridge. Good times.

8

I hate snow. We had about an inch and half of it this morning, and you’d think people around here would be used to it, this being Missouri and all, and snow being a quite common occurrence in the Cold Time, but let one tiny snowflake hit the road and fifty people across the county spontaneously slide into the ditch.

Those last two impersonations? I’m a dispatcher. I am not making those up (well, ok, I’m exaggerating about the rollover accident. It only rolled once and didn’t catch fire). I wish to gods I was. Normally people are just people and they don’t bother me since I got Good Meds from the doctor, but it seemed like this morning everyone I talked to had had their regular coffee secretly replaced with Dumbass Instant.

There were no injuries anywhere, so I guess all in all that makes it a good morning.

9

We here in California have a foolproof plan regarding safe driving and inclement weather. The way it works is that nobody knows how to drive safely in rain or snow, so we drive like maniacs in such weather until there’s an accident (usually within 30 minutes of said rain or snow and usually spectacularly horrible), at which point traffic slows to a crawl, making the roads much safer for all of us. See? Much better.

10

Isn’t it great? At the last ambulance service I worked for there was a major intersection that shared the exact same name as an intersection about 25 miles away. We’d get dispatched, roll out there and find out, “Oh yeah, that’s the other towns.” :smack: