This just tells you how hard it is to be single nowadays…
This was on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno on September 7, 1999. Jay went into the audience to find the
most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date experience.
There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize! She said it was midwinter…snowing
and quite cold…and the guy had taken her skiing. It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers,
after all, and truly had never met before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were
headed home late that afternoon.
They were driving back down the mountain when she gradually began to realize that she should not have
had that extra latte. They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of nowhere.
Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while. Unfortunately, because of the heavy
snow and slow going, there came a point where she told him that he had better stop and let her pee beside
the road, or it would be the front seat of his car.
They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started.
Unfortunately, in the deep snow she didn’t have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to
steady herself. Her companion stood on the other side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real
gentleman and refrained from peeking.
All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation.
Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants, the young
lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car’s fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to pump handles
immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent
that she had a brand new problem due to the extreme cold.
Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor she answered her date’s concerns about “what was taking so long”
with a reply that indeed, she was “freezing her butt off and needed some assistance”!
He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his
eyes, he burst out laughing.
She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma.
Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem. Both agreed it would taking
something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal.
Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was
only one way to get her free so, as she looked the other way, her first time date proceeded to unzip his pants
and pee her butt off the fender.
Rescue accomplished, they returned to the car although for the remainder of the trip home there wasn’t much
conversation and apparently, despite their “intimate encounter,” the two did not see one another again.
As for the Tonight Show…she took the prize hands down…or perhaps that should be “pants down.” And you thought your
first date was embarrassing…
A whole new definition of being “pissed off”.
So, what was your worst date?