War Against The Giant Mutant Rats--Newslink

[Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor]

Poison gas won’t stop them! Send in the snipers!

Iran is at war with Giant Mutant Rats.

http://now.msn.com/iran-sends-snipers-to-fight-tehrans-mutant-rats

Ten teams of sharpshooters equipped with infrared sights have been deployed to Tehran to combat the new wave of “mutant” rats plaguing the city. “It’s become a 24/7 war,” said the head of Tehran’s environmental agency,

Iran deploys sniper teams in Tehran to battle 'mutant' rats

en teams of sharpshooters armed with rifles equipped with infra-red sights have bagged more than 2,000 of the brutish rodents in recent weeks, city officials told state media.

That’s a drop in the ocean: Iran’s rat population easily outnumbers the sprawling capital’s 12 million inhabitants. The city council is now boosting the number of sniper squads to 40, officials said.

“It’s become a 24/7 war,” a grim-faced Mohammad Hadi Heydarzadeh, the head of Tehran municipality’s environmental agency, declared on state television last month. “We use chemical poisons to kill the rats during the day and the snipers at night.”
They seem to have had a genetic mutation," Ismail Kahram, an environmental adviser to the city council, said. “They are bigger now and look different. These are changes that normally take millions of years of evolution,” he told the website Qudsonline.ir last month. He said cats are now smaller than some of Tehran’s rats, which can weigh up to 5kg.

Obviously, Sumatra is somehow involved. And Magneto.

[Balance]

I don’t think they exist.

[blondebear]

The next thing you know, ten thousand people-oids will split into small tribes.

[LawMonkey]

Now the true motivation behind the Iranian nuclear program becomes clear. I expect a space program next, to provide an orbital platform for the nukes. It’s the only way to be sure.

[Sunspace]

We must settle our differences and band together against the mutant hordes! Humanity’s fate is in the balance!

[Ranchoth]

…so, would this be a masterful example of “big lie” propaganda, or just the guy in charge of military cover stories just not giving a fuck anymore?

[Polycarp]

@Balance

I don’t think they exist.

Inconceivable!

[Enkel]

I will donate to any one that wants to send 50% of our coyote population over to Iran. They’re a natural predator and once the rat numbers dwindle, the coyote will eat their trash instead.

(Oh, and I’ll donate double if we staple a raccoon and a ground hog to the back of each coyote)

[levdrakon]

Are these Shia or Sunni rats?

[Lumpy]

@Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor

Obviously, Sumatra is somehow involved. And Magneto.

Or a truck carrying radioactive waste overturned on the street.

[TriPolar]

@Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor

Obviously, Sumatra is somehow involved. And Magneto.

I blame the Jews.

[Count_Blucher]

…but what about Iran’s vaunted secret weapon?

… Persian Cats…?

[cochrane]

Paging flatlined!

[Hypno-Toad]

Maybe we could send them some of our everglade pythons…