Warning! Bad poetry alert! (mine, that is)

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

ummmm hijacked much??? ok so bak to the poetry thing…if I may…I hate to say this but just so you know…INTERNATIONAL LIBRARY OF POETRY IS A SHAM. They did a special on it on 20/20 a while back…they had a preschool class or something to that effect write poems. They all made it as finalists. So I’m sorry to tell you this but they’ll offer to publish you in one of their anthologies ($69.95), declare you poet of the year ($$$$$ for the trip) and include you in the “Best Poets of the Year” edition…scam…total scam.
But, if we’re sharing poetry I hope you don’t mind me posting a bit of mine…

Essential

There is only need.
Legs rising above his head
But together beneath the moon
They shook for winter sleep.
Her weak juice
He licked it all.
Sincerely said in easy language
His lies were devestating, beautiful demons
Pink sweet forbidden
Hello breast.
This eager gift from a crush
Madly delicious delerium
Barely whispered frantic pants
Asking you of urging kisses
Only tainted skin could finger play.

Be gentle.

22

Yeah, it seems to me like Dave Barry wrote a column a few years ago about being invited to submit a poem for this outfit. They were going to publish a book called “The Best Poems of 1995”. Let’s see, here…
“Love”

O Love is a feeling that makes a person strive
To crank out one of the Best Poems of 1995.
Love is what made Lassie the farm dog go alert little Timmy’s farm family whenever Timmy fell into a dangerous farm pit;
Love is a feeling that will not go away, like a fungus in your armpit.

But the bottom line is that there will always be lovers
Wishing to express their love in a book with imported French marbleized covers.
Which a $49.95 a pop multiplied by 3,000 poets
Works out to gross literary revenue of roughly $150,000, so it’s
A fairly good bet that whoever thought up the idea of this book
Doesn’t care whether this last line rhymes.
Or something like that; I’m quoting from memory here. The bottom line :slight_smile: is hey, have some fun with this thing. Write something really crappy. Just being in print is reward enough. :smiley:

(With apologies to the mighty Dave Barry, may his camel never falter)

23

Yes, I know it’s a sham. We discussed it in my writing workshop. I volunteered to collect the proof. Someone else had done it in my Creative Writing class last year so I felt it was my turn.

Poetry.com is another story however.

24

Well, I got my letter from Poetry.com. Ooooooooooo, lucky me, I’m a semi-finalist! And I’m under No Obligation Whatsoever to buy the book for $49.95. :slight_smile:

So… Arden… did you get YOUR “semi-finalist” letter??

25

Yep. The kid just brought in the mail. :smiley:

I get to take it to Workshop tomorrow night while we giggle.

26

Poetry.com is as close to a sham as it can be. Of all the poems I’ve ever sent, all of them have made it as “semi-finalists.” The same with all of the people I know who have submitted poems.
I’ve never bought a book, and I’ve never won a cash prize. Coincidence? I don’t think so.

27

Me too, Nocturne. Many years ago, I sent one to another publication and yep, made it to semi-finalist. I actually did pay the $$ to get the book, and I have it to this day. It is cool to see your name in print like that. And no, I wasn’t hoodwinked; I knew what I was paying for… :slight_smile:

28

All your stories have inspired me, I wonder if this would qualify for semifinalist:

Don’t Pick on Poets!

Those who play with a Poet’s emotions
Truly fail to realize the effect,
For the enemy they now created
Has one powerful force they neglect.

Do they not know their history maybe?
Do they fail to see this world’s true lord?
For only a fool would not realize
That the Pen is Mightier than the Sword.

If you mess with a fighter, he’ll deck 'ya
If you tangle with lawyers, they’ll sue.
If you upset a cop, who’ll protect you?
If you piss off a poet, poor you.

The Unholy alliance of brethren
Who can sway the whole world with their words,
Will be writing their pages with reference
To your act so disturbing and lewd.

So it is with the poetry contests
And the scammers who would take your cash,
So it with the Hollywood agents
Who would escort you off to their couch.

So it happens with hopeful young artists
Who’s first painting is not yet displayed,
And the newly recruited star model
Who must first pay to have pictures made.

All the easiest targets for scoundrels
Are the hopeful, the dreamers, the young,
So these scoundrels attack right on target
Never caring what damage they’ve done.

But take heart, for the poet has power
In his words he can carry the fight.
He can tell the whole world to be weary
Ha can make the offender take flight.

Through the ages the poets have triumphed
When they’re gone their names can live on,
Just as soon as you send me five dollars
I’ll make certain that your name is one!