From the FBI memo
Be especially on the lookout for Black males reading almanacs, because, you know, only militant Negros read.
WE’RE ALL MARKED, PEOPLE!!! The FBI dudes will be by shortly to arrest us for possesion of a deadly weapon, our brains!
Onions keep me safe from spotted lizards!
Everyone in the office today forwarded this to my immediate supervisor, who has an Encyclopedia Brittanica Almanac on his desk right now. It was given to him as a holiday gift by his supervisor, our section head.
They’re all terrorists. I knew it.
I´m truly amazed how you can withstand all the scaremongering you´re put through; my hat´s off to my american friends.
But what have you got in your hat, Ale? Is that an… almanac???
I still laughed at the comments of the publisher of the Farmer’s Almanac in the Yahoo AP story:
George W. Bush wants to bring us down to his level?
Well, considering the class of terrorist most feared at the moment is the kind who plan to immitiate previous unsuccesful attempts slavishly rather than exploit one of the other gaping security holes, terrorists with information is scary! (Making fun of (1) terrorists who are this stupid and (2) people who assume all terrorists are)
Reminds me of shortly after 9/11, while I was riding the commuter train to work and reading a book. A fellow passenger became alarmed because the book I was reading was an operations manual for an airplane and reported me to the conductor.
I’ll give the conductor credit - she was very polite and did a lot of eye-rolling at the Hysterical Passenger.
Why, yes, ladies, I am reading a book on a particular model of airplane because I am a pilot and I am planning to fly this weekend and wanted to review a few things…
Apparently, “I am a pilot” was the wrong thing to say in front of Hysterical Passenger…
:rolleyes:
Good thing I didn’t mention the air navigation map I had of Chicago in my backpack, or my pocket knife…
This has been going on for over two fucking years people! Wake up! The Chicken-Littles are convinced everyone is a danger.
Haven’t changed my reading habits one damn bit - and don’t intend to, either.
they’d have to arrest the winning table for knowing too much.
I suddenly have the urge to go out and buy almanacs by the stack.
And whle you’re at it, be sure your car’s glove compartment has maps. Lots of maps. With cities shown plainly on them!
Yeah? But what sort of bomb can a Swallow carry, anyway?
Is that an African or a European swallow?
[sub](Oh, come on, you know somebody had to!)[/sub]
If the police officers in your area so stupid they need a memo to do this, you’ve got bigger problems than an almanac totin’ terrorist.
African swallows are non-migratory.
Depends.
Is it unladen? Or Bin Laden?
I really hope the terrorists are as stupid as the people who are supposedly protecting us.
I honestly think the majority of the solutions they come up with are wasted resources. The terrorists have proven they’re patient, rather thorough and aren’t afraid to die. If they want to attack again, they will, and they’ll succeed. I wouldn’t be surprised if someday we hear about a few sleeper cells waking and strapping bombs to their chests and start heading to the malls. It’s relatively easy to do, causes quite a bit of destruction physically and to the economy, and is very damaging to morale (think how the DC snipers affected people).
Seriously, I had an almanac in the back seat of my car for a year or so when I was studying for one of my unsuccessful attempts to get on Jeopardy!. If it was still there and I was pulled over, would that be considered probable cause to search my car now?
The FBI and CIA are seeming more and more like Inspector Gadget: high-tech, but very stupid. All they need to do is find a little girl with a supercomputer and a talking dog, and they’ll be able to stop Al-Qaeda once and for all.