I am part of the, “Not impotent,” crowd.
I’ve always pictured the ALW Phantom as part of the Hannibal Lecter crowd. He has his own bizarre set of ethics. I think that for the exhaulted object of his affection, something like rape (and for rape, as opposed to murder, for just about any woman) would simply seem crude and pointless. Mere sex alone would not be sufficient for the ego; the entire idea is getting the person to agree to that and love voluntarily. That’s why it falls apart from him when she effectively offers her body to save Raoul, but can not offer her heart or soul. He then realizes it is over, and he can not win what he really wants.
I think the response mentioned above to Christine’s question is meant in that context.