Was I bad to my dog? (Long)

In My Humble Opinion
1

OK…the answer to the title is yes, I was bad to my dog. I am clear on that point. I guess what I’m wondering is if how I treated her was appropriate with it being a given that I put her in a bad position to begin with.

Here’s the deal…

My wife is out of town so I am left to take care of my pets alone. No big deal there as I do the majority of the pet care anyway. However, my wife manages to remind me of my duties if I ever let them slip so the following occurence doesn’t happen too often.

I got home late from work and walked my dog around 8:30 p.m. Relaxing on the couch and watching TV I fell asleep and didn’t wake up till 1:30 a.m. I knew the dog should go out once more but I figured I walked her later than usual and she can normally hold it for 12 hours or more. Basically I was lazy and just moved myself to bed without taking her out.

After waking up at 6:30 a.m. I walked the dog then took my shower and other normal morning rituals. Upon entering my living room I noticed my dog had left a doggy bomb on the carpet for me. It was clear from its state that it had been there awhile and that she had an upset digestive system (I’m trying not to get too gross here). I went and got my dog (who knew she was in the dog house [pun intended]) and brought her over to her pile and scolded her verbally and added a smack on the nose and a smack on the rump. Nothing hard to truly hurt the dog but enough that the dog didn’t appreciate it. I’ve heard it said that showing the dog their poop and scolding them doesn’t help as the dog doesn’t connect the two but I firmly believe my dog, at least, understood. She knew she was in trouble and started dragging her feet when it was clear where I was taking her.

My thinking here is that while it was clearly my fault for not taking her out added to a sick tummy that she can’t be blamed for I still need to send a message to the dog that crapping in the house is never appropriate. I don’t want her thinking, “Hey, no sweat with the poop in the house…why bother holding it?” My wife, when she was very young, was teasing her dog mercilessly and her dog snapped at her. My wife’s dad kicked the dog’s ass for that. My wife had the snap coming but her dad felt that a message needed to be sent to the dog that it is NEVER ok to do that. After that the dog never snapped no matter what the kids did to it.

So, was there something else I should have done? I feel terrible. I screw-up and then hurt my dog’s feelings for my screw-up. I feel like such a prick right now and hope someone here can suggest another way to deal with this should it happen in the future (beyond taking care of my dog as I should have in the first place).

2

I don’t mean to be harsh, since you say you feel bad already… But -

A human reasserting “top dog” status after a dog nips a kid is one thing - and does NOT require any ass-kicking, btw. Berating your pet because your own laxness led to a problem is a different matter. Smacking (even if you didn’t do physical damage) is right out.

A housetrained dog will - generally - not want to “go” in the house. If it has an accident, and is not reprimanded, it does not automatically unlearn its house-training.

You should have let this go, and apologized to the dog. It’s not too late to apologize.

It sounds as though you’ve had pets for a while, and you’re probably a responsible owner. As such, it might not hurt to read up on dog training techniques, just as a refresher.

3

Three deleted responses later: yes, yes you were.

I could only be more verbose in the Pit.

4

Sick dogs just can’t help it, Whack. Just remember that in the future.

5

Ok everyone…I have some of this abuse directed at me coming and I agree with you. However, I think you all might be a little too harsh in your judgement.

First off I love my dog deeply…very very deeply.

Secondly I do not practice hitting my dog for infractions, whatever they may be, as a matter of course. She is a very good dog and has had relatively little cause for corrections in the first place. I honetly think you could count all the times she’s gotten a smack on the butt on one hand.

Third, the few times my dog has gotten a smack, the smack has been very light. She’s a 90 pound dog so it would take a pretty good whack to actually physically hurt her and nothing I or my wife has ever done even approaches that. Think of giving a child a swat on the butt as they walk by and you have the idea. Any pain inflicted here is strictly emotional. I realize emotional pain is real enough and sometimes worse than physical pain but I want it understood that I don’t beat my dog.

Fourth, I have read a great deal on dogs and dog training. I know that negative reinforcement is not the way to go. So why did I do it? I couldn’t really say…early in the morning, cranky…I don’t know. None of that excuses anything which is why I wrote here to see if anyone had other suggestions.

I agree with Hazel12 that the dog isn’t likely to undo its house training because of one accident. I do, however, believe in a consistent message being sent to the dog. Pooping in the house was wrong before and it’s still wrong today.

So, I am still an asshole and feel free to let me know that (as if you needed my permission) but do it with a little perspective.

6

I’m with Drastic. I tried to find a way to post what I want to say without the post being pit worthy. I failed.

You were beyond bad to your dog.

7

Yes you were bad to your dog. Don’t beat yourself up about it. Everyone makes mistakes. Go give your dog a treat and some love and forget about.

8

it.

(please add this word to the end of my last post. Thank you!)

9

Yes, and she knows that. She knew when she did it. But she was sick and couldn’t help it. Even if you had taken her out at the proper time, she might not have been able to control herself.

Our Miss Emily developed a hormone problem that caused her to “leak” without her knowledge or control. We didn’t punish her – we took her to the vet and got her on medication. She also peed on Mr. S as he held her while she was dying. He didn’t scold or spank her then either.

Luckily, dogs are very forgiving. Give your dog some extra loving – and lots of extra walks.

And don’t punish her “after the fact” again. Once the deed is done, it’s too late. If you didn’t catch her in the act, just clean it up and forget about it. She already has.

10

Thank you; and the point I was trying to make is that sometimes it is not necessary to send any message.

For example, if you think your dog knows she shouldn’t “go” in the house, and she can’t help it one time & goes in the house, it is not necessary to reprimand her.

I’ll give you a parallel example: When you post that you were an asshole and bad to your dog, it’s probably not necessary for us to agree with you, and slap you around verbally for being an asshole to your dog.

Get it? :slight_smile:

You already know you did a bad thing. She already knows she did a bad thing.

If you withhold a reprimand in this situation, you will not be sending her an inconsistent message. It’s not as if you praised her for pooping in the house - you are just not sending any message this time.

The next time she “goes” outside, lavish some praise on her and reinforce that behavior. I’d support sending her that message.

Now, as an aside - I’ve just re-read the above before posting, and it sounds kind of condescending. I don’t mean it that way. Please take it in a one-dog-owner-to-another, collegial sort of tone. I am not berating you. We’re just talking it over, OK?

11

I think you were unfair. But you weren’t cruel and your dog still loves you. You probably feel worse about it than she does at this point. Give her a little extra love (it’ll make you feel better) and learn from it.

StG

12

NP…I appreciate the input (sorry for getting your name wrong earlier too).

As an aside here’s a picture of my dog. How I ever felt able to disciplne that happy mug I’ll never know.

13

Eeeaagah demon dog!

14

I’m going to agree with Drastic here. That was pretty inexcusable. But since this is not the Pit, and you seem pretty contrite, I’ll let it go.

I do want to make a few comments, though. You seem to feel that your dog “somehow understood” what she was doing when you dragged her over and rubbed her nose in poop. WRONG!!! Wrong, wrong, wrong. Your dog understood only that you were angry and that she was being punished; for what, she had no idea. You, like many dog owners, seem to be mistaking apprehension for guilt- these are two different things. When you start yelling, dragging her around, and then rubbing her nose in poop, the dog obviously becomes frightened and attempts to placate you with submissive behavior such as whining, cringing, etc. But she does not understand why you are angry. Dogs cannot connect events across time; this is why a correction any more than about 10 seconds after the fact is just about useless. Doing all this did nothing to tell your dog why you were angry, (which, BTW, you had no right to be; she was ill and it was your fault you didn’t take her out) it served only to convince the dog that you are unstable and not to be trusted.

Fortunately, dogs are extremely forgiving. But you owe her a BIG apology.

You do not ever need to hit, kick, slap, or otherwise physically hurt your dog in order to correct it. As someone with professional training experience, I can tell you that often just ignoring a dog, and thereby removing the social interaction which it craves, can be even more effective. (All individuals are different, however; YMMV- but there is no excuse to ever abuse any animal.) Your dog also does not ever need to learn that some humans cannot be trusted, especially you, and especially if she’s a pet and not a working dog. Lucky for you your dog is submissive in nature and just took this in stride. A more fearful dog might have distrusted you for quite some time, or worse, felt the need to defend herself. And a more dominant dog…who can say?

But it’s good that you realize you were in the wrong. Let this be a learning experience. If you ever feel the need to hit someone for what your dog has done, feel free to hit yourself several times. Repeat the phrase “I will watch my dog”, “I will watch my dog”, “I will watch my dog”. With a few repetitions, it’ll sink in. :slight_smile:

15

Thanks for the photo link - She’s Beauuuutiful!

16

“often just ignoring a dog, and thereby removing the social interaction which it craves, can be even more effective.” Well if the dog can’t equate a correction as one if it’s more than 10 seconds after the event–how does it connect the event with the ignoring?

Whack, gonna have to go with, yes.

But, my 50 pound lab (6 months) bit me last night…after months of training and working with her–she bit me–purposefully to show she was boss–no she didn’t break the skin, but she intede to do what she did. Know what I did? Bopped her across the muzzle once–not hard, but not light…

I am the biggest pushover in the world and don’t ususally advocate hitting animals, but a simple “NO Bite” would not have taken care of that. Next time (doubt there will be one) same thing…

17

FTR I did not rub her nose in anything. I merely brought her over to the pile and made sure she saw it.

As to not being able to connect her previous act with the poop on the floor I’m not so sure. I’ve heard and read that before so I suppose I’ll have to defer to the experts but it sure seems like she gets it. I never call my dog to me to discipline her. I never want her to connect coming to me with something bad (she always gets a pat on the head at the very least for responding to a ‘come’ command. When discipline is called for I go get her and I did the same this morning. When I got her this morning she happily followed me till we got near the living room with the pile in it. Even before it was in sight she started to backpeddle (of course for a dog scent is as good as sight and she probably smelled it). This behavior would indicate to me that she knew the poop wasn’t going to be a good thing. This behavior is never displayed when we are outside (and outside I do bring her over to her poop since I live in the city and must pick-up after her immediately).

Nevertheless I agree with the overall sense of your post and know I should have behaved better this morning and will not behave in this fashion again in the future. She’s such a sweetheart (demon dog indeed :stuck_out_tongue: ). I can’t wait to get home and give her a big hug and a walk to the park for some serious play time (although it’s quite hot here and she hates the heat so is more likely to lay down in the shade being the lazybones she is).

18

Whack,

Took guts to own up to doing what you did. If you left a pile on the rug, I’d rub your nose in it. :stuck_out_tongue:

Dogs are pretty damn great, aren’t they? I’d give her lots of love and be more thoughtful in the future.

Know why I love my dog? Dogs are never insincere.

Tibs.

19

Thanks…I think I did it in part as a sort of penance for my bad behavior (not being willing to stick my own nose in the pile either). Somehow I had a feeling I wasn’t going to get {{{hugs}}} from other posters for this one. It doesn’t change anything except maybe my karma balance will be more levelled (although most of that will come from giving big hugs and apologies to my dog even if she doesn’t know what it’s for). I’m really not a bad guy overall and not a bad parent to my dog. Anyone who wants is free to come over and meet her and see for themselves (there are some tests you can do on a dog to determine if it is abused such as the ‘hand wave’…maybe not a 100% accurate but use what tools you’ve got).

I also agree that dogs are the greatest. A good connection between a person and a dog is among the best things life has to offer.

20

Just wanted to clarify a previous statement of mine. When I said that ignoring a dog can be more effective than punsihment, I meant in an immediate situation. Obviously ignoring the dog in another hour or so is pointless. But if your dog does something of which you do not approve, and is likely designed to get attention (such as barking) ignoring the dog by simply turning and walking away, or not reacting at all to their behavior can be extremely effective, if done immediately. The dog does behavior x to elicit a reaction; if no reaction is forthcoming, and indeed, results in immediate non-attention, the dog begins to learn that behavior x is no longer paying off and will usually stop. Again, YMMV.

On another note, I agree with what others have said about the dog/human relationship. It can be one of the most profound experiences in a lifetime. God, I love my dogs, and Whack-a-Mole, it seems like you really do, too. I’m sorry if I was harsh; it’s just that this is a subject that has a lot of importance for me. Give your dog a big kiss for me. Here’s a favorite quote of mine:

“He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.” -Anon.