After some 18 years, I am in the position of having to move my business. I have the new location, I just have to get all the details done.
First up? PHone. what I want is to have phone service at both locations for a short period of time, since I’ll want to be able to call out from either location from time to time during the move.
So, I call my carrier, (cue Darth Vadar Music): SBC.
I let them know where I"ll be moving to, explain what I want, etc. Sure, fine, they start setting up the situation. “Will I be able to keep the same number?” No. Ok fine.
twenty minutes later, the order taker tells me my new number. She starts with 3 digits that I recognize as a fucking new area code - um. 'scuse me? I"m moving about 4 miles away, same area code, the existing business has the same exchange that I do, what’s the deal? another 10 minutes later, she realizes “oops, no, you can keep the same number”. swell, we complete the deal. I’ll have both locations up and running from 7/30 to 8/10, have an appointment w/a tech guy to install new location on 7/30 from 2 to 5.
Fine and dandy.
Except the Next fucking day, I go to my (soon to be old) office, and pick up the phone to make a call.
I dial my office number from my cell and hear “the number you have reached… has been disconnected, no further information is available for…”.
what the fucking fuck?
So I call Fucking SBC, the poor guy who ended up with my call, started in with his “we really appreaciate your business” I cut in with “let me cut to to chase here - we have a problem”
thirty fucking minutes later (on my cell of course), he assures me that my service will be back on within 15 minutes. Nothing, of course, about “let me offer you an adjustment on your bill”.
Oddly enough, the very first call I got was from their competitiors.
Then, on the 30th, I make serious arrangements to be over at the new location, where I can do nothing but sit and wait, but it’s important that I get the service established.
now, the existing business (where I’m renting space) is open til 5 pm, I don’t yet, have a key…
I sit there and wait.
at quarter to fucking 5, the guy shows up. and of course, there’s issues. Something about how the order was written up, something wrong with how the wires are, I don’t really care.
Bottom line, after dicking around for about a half hour (with my gracious hosts staying after their quitting time), he realizes he can’t complete the job.
we make arrangements for him to come back on Monday. I’ve established what I need to w/them, the hosts agree to let him into the area he needs to, even if I’m not there.
I get an email from SB fucking C that the job’s been completed. I’m busy actually running the business, and prepping for the move, so the next time I’m dealing is on the day of the official move of stuff I"m keeping (I"m not totally out of the other place til I get rid of all the other stuff). That’s Wednesday. All morning we’re setting up for the actual move, the movers come, and we discover, as with every move, there’s glitches, ‘gosh how did they get this in here?’ etc etc etc.
Get the stuff over to the new place. Have furniture set up. Have son set up computer. First thing I do is check out the phone - is it working? yes, dial tone, great.
Deal with other shit until late that afternoon, then decide that I need to check email, print out presentation that I"m giving on Thursday (did I mention that the move coincided with a speaking engagement that I’d set up in June? that the speaking engagement was originally for a group of about 20, turned out to be 150? I didn’t? sorry).
Printer not printing. Crap. system not logging on. Double crap. Multi tasking and great numbers of alternatives mean that I was not able to ascertain that the fucking dial tone was no longer on, until ** after** 5 .
Can’t even deal with the problem until next afternoon, since I’m out of town at a presentation all morning.
Get back into town, call the FPC (fucking phone company) yet again.
thirty five mother fucking minutes later, their staff is able to establish “There’s trouble on that line”.
no shit corvette.
“we really value you as a customer”.
yea, and you won’t come in my mouth, the check’s in the mail and WMD are aiming at New York.
According to my new “officemates” there were no fewer than 3 tech guys wandering around today
Still no dial tone.
at either fucking place.
So, it’s obvious that either I was really really fucking bad in a prior life (sorry about that whole genocide thing, ya know?) or I’m gonna be the queen of the fucking world in my next life.
In the meantime, yes, I’ve changed phone companies.