Was the U.S.S Flagg Awesome? (The Sears Catalog)

Cafe Society
1

x-entertainment has an article about the 1985 Wish Book from Sears, and how cool it was to write your Christmas list from items in the catalog.

And they are right- It was fun.

I recall that every year, about this time, I would pull the gigantic tome from my Grandmother’s bookshelf, and pore over it’s pages. The intoxicating scent of coloured ink on those shiny pages wafting upwards to my nostrils, I would immediately turn to those special pages.

No, not the ladies underwear section- I would pay attention to that treasure trove later in life- I am referring to those pages waaaaay in the back. The 15 or so dedicated to worldly objects that could only be appreciated by someone who was absolutely certain Optimus Prime assisted Santa with his deliveries. I mean, come on- He needed a tractor trailer to get the goods around the world on time.

So, every year I would go through with military efficiency and circle the items I most desired. I would then proceed to make a list that ranked them all in order of importance.

…and every year, the headliner would be the U.S.S. Flagg! In fact, I’m pretty sure it was on everyone’s list that I knew.

…and every year, there would be no such vessel under the tree.
Sure, it was ridiculously expensive. I’ll give you that it was HUGE. Perhaps a piece here or there may have been lost…but…but…it looked TOTALLY AWESOME!

Who the heck wouldn’t want a 7 foot aircraft carrier on their bedroom floor? Beyond that, how was I to take my fight to the enemy (who had cleverly set up a base in my dresser), when the Joe crew were all the way over on the bed? Not very well I tell you! Who knows what unspeakable treachery went unnoticed since I didn’t have any reconnaissance in the area?
But I digress.

So I ask you, fellow dopers, did anyone ever aquire one of these coveted warships? Was it totally awesome, or did it go the way of R.O.B?

2

A friend of mine came from a crazy-rich family, and his younger brother had every Joe toy they made. Yeah, that thing was awesome. We were 15 or 16, too old to really “play” with them, but man did we press every button and examine every detail.

The kid had his own Joe playroom, where he had set up the most incredible dioramas! The Terrordrome surrounded by Cobra on an island he made, with the Flagg and all the Joe watercraft invading. That was fricken’ amazing.

He had the space shuttle, too.

Stupid kid.

3

When I was a kid, my best friend lived about an hour away from me. Coincidentally, the nearest Toys’R’Us was also about an hour away from me. When my mom would take me to visit him, we’d often stop at the toy store so I could get an action figure, or something.

One weekend, he was coming over to my house for a sleepover. My mom drove out to pick him up, and we stopped at Toys’R’Us on the way back. My friend and I are standing in the action figure aisle, trying to pick a new toy for the weekend, when my mom walks up and hands me a slip of paper. It was the sales tag for the USS Flagg. I guess she’d just gotten a promotion, or a nice bonus at work, or something. It wasn’t Christmas or my birthday or anything, just a total random surprise.

My friend and I played the hell out of that aircraft carrier that weekend. And yes, it was awesome. Oh my fucking God, was it ever awesome. I think that first night when we got it all set up was the first time in my life I ever stayed up until dawn. Best toy ever.

4

Yea… it was flipping awesome.

I remeber getting it for christmas that year - it pretty much was the only thing I got that year, but the parentals blew their wad in one big blow!

It was pretty much the last year I’d be in for toys for christmas, but I kept it around for years before finally putting it away. As much as a coll coy, it really displayed well too.

I do remember the assembly of the thing - It took hours if I recall correctly, especially making sure all the stickers got on strieght - didn’t want to mess this one up!

My dad even build a roll around bench for the thing that you could store toys in (i’m sure there were ulterior “clean” issues here) that was about chest high. I think that was about the penultamate for toys then or since.

The Flagg is long gone to the boneyard, probably torn apart on some Indian shoreline, but I still have the workbench as my tool bench now… 3 house moves later!

5

I’ve never heard of such a thing…it was after my time…but holey smokes! I want one NOW!

6

Never had it but, oh MY, how I wanted it. I won’t complain about it because I had a lot of G.I. Joe figures and playsets and, as far as I can tell, my folks considered it an investment in many blissful, quiet, kid-free hours. Absolutely a win-win.

I only ever knew one kid who had the Flagg and it was seriously one of the coolest toys ever. It nearly required its own playroom.

7

Alas, I was from the 12-inch Joe generation. That thing would’ve been a cigarette boat to my Joes. :slight_smile:

8

Ew! Get some Clearasil for that!

:stuck_out_tongue:

9

May I ask how big the thing was in comparison to GI Joe? Because those real aircraft carriers are like, a quarter mile long or more, and GI Joe is about 10" high, which would make a to-scale aircraft carrier like ::does some hasty calculations:: really big.

Were there planes you could land on it? Were there teeny tiny GI Joes to work the thing? Or was it cashing in with the GI Joe name, but sharing nothing else than a logo and military theme?

ETA: Miller, “pore” is the correct spelling for the word meaning “strutinize”.

10

Bzzzzz.

11

Is that something Australians do?

12

Accoring to the photo of the box front in the OP’s link, it was 7.5 feet long :eek:

I don’t know how that scales to a GI Joe figure but… yeah, that’s big.

13

Old G.I. Joe’s were 10" high. By the eighties, they had shrunk to the now-standard 3" or 4" action figure size (something to do with the oil crisis in the 70’s, I think.) Still, not to scale, (7’:3"::168’:6’, so we’re talking half a football field) but not as obviously silly as it would be with 10" Joes.

14

I still have most of my 3 3/4" G.I. Joe figures from my ‘80s childhood*, but I had very few vehicles for them, and never had the U.S.S. Flagg. The house simply wasn’t big enough, plus it was close to $100. The Joes’ space station with shuttle, the U.S.S. Defiant, was another top-dollar playset that was huge, but it was hard to beat the Flagg for pure size and awesomeness.

I’m well-versed in the action figure collection “scenes,” and I know of several serious Joe collectors who own the Flagg. At least one guy uses it as his coffee table!

*I am strongly considering selling these guys…

15

A 4 inch Joe? What? Seriously, he was Barbie’s only hope for a real boyfriend. 4 inches? Oil crisis? If a 10 inch Joe isn’t worth fighting for, I don’t know what is.

16

As a child of the eighties, who grew up with 3 & 3/4" Joes, and also had pretty much the full run of 12" Joes when they tried to bring it back in the early 90’s, I have to say that the little guys were much better for actually playing with.

Sure it was super easy to lose their guns, but you could get all kinds of awesome playsets and vehicles that just weren’t feasible with the larger scale. Not only that, but you could turn small ordinarily household items into battlefields. I used to build elaborate fortifications for my Cobra soldiers using an awesome set of wood blocks my dad made for me and my siblings. They were just the right size for a little kid to hold one in each hand, and you could easily play with 20 or more at a time! They were cheaper and took up less space so you could have a whole bunch of them, and they made a ton of really awesome figures over the years (especially the various kinds of Cobra henchmen).

To the OP: No, but lord did I want it. I never really had any of the really opulent or hard to get stuff as a kid, but my parents and aunt made up for that with the sheer volume and variety of toys I owned as a child. My Lego collection alone was ridiculous.

17

Here are some pretty good close-up shots of the good ship Flagg.

Miller- That is a pretty cool story. The only time I recall ever getting anything on a whim like that was when my Dad randomly took me to the store to by a new bike when I was 8.

AuntBeast-

Gotta bring up the obligatory Nissan Commercial. After scanning youtube, I see there was a second one as well.

Big Bad Voodoo Lou- How well did it work as a table? I had a crazy idea a couple of years back to do the same thing.

18

I grow up after joe. There was nothing like that when i grew up. I want one now!

19

We were waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too poor to ever have any hope of getting the U.S.S. Flagg, so I made one out of cardboard, paint and tape. It was still pretty awesome! Until that is, that day it rained…

20

I have a fondness for the 12" military dolls in general, but yeah, little G.I. Joes are so much cooler than the dolls from the 60’s and 70’s that it’s not even funny.