Was there ever a Preparation G?

Factual Questions
1

Dear Cecil:
Here’s a question I’ve been itching to ask: Was there ever a Preparation G?

2

I shouldn’t imagine so. I always understood the “H” to stand for “Haemorrhoids”.

3

Itching. Ha. Ha.

4

The ointment was developed by a chap called George Sperti. I suppose it is possible that he didn’t achieve success until the eighth version…

5

Preparation Gonorrhoea?

6

Taken from Do Pharmacists sell Farms? by Vince Staten “The question should be, What were Preparations A through G? What was wrong with them? Okay, okay, Preparation H is just a name. There were no preparations A through G, according to the folks who make Preparation H. The H signifies what the preparation is supposed to cure: hemorrhoids.”

It’s the most stolen item in the drugstore because people are too embarrassed to buy it. They know the counter people will think their butt hurts.

Fun fact: Yeast was Preparation H’s active ingredient until it was changed to shark liver oil in 1994.

7

Columbus is alleged to have had a cabin boy who was addicted to the use of ground glass.

8

Chili oil has been used as a topical treatment for hemorrhoids. From this website:

I wouldn’t try it myself. It sounds like a prescription for some serious wolf-ass.

9

I remember reading somewhere that the “H” means it was the eighth formula. There was a Preparation A, B, C, and so on.

Now, all I have to do is find the link… Maybe on Snopes, or a previous Cecil article?

10

I don’t know about Preparation H, but snopes says WD-40 really was the 40th water displacement formulation they tried:

11

Well whaddya know. Life imitates stupid postings. :slight_smile:

I would suggest that if the whole bowl moves then your haemorrhoids have got too large for mere Preparation H.

12

I wish there were a Preparation I – to subdue the inflammation of a swollen ego.

  • Adam
13

Well, you had me going. Then I figured out you were joking, and then ** heresiarch** posted about chili oil, and I didn’t know what to believe. :slight_smile:

But is it true it was invented by a man named Sperti? At least he had the good sense not to name it Preparation Spurt.

14

Preparation Y could be used on kids who won’t stop bugging you.