I seem to remember in a British history course that I took in University the professor mentions someone named MAGNUS MAXIMUS (loosely translated into BIGGEST BEST) I can’t seem to find any reference to him in any books. Was there such a person?? If he did exist are there other historical figures with equally goofy names (mine notwithstandin)?
There are only two things that are infinite…the Universe and Man’s stupidity…I’m not sure about the Universe though.
Magnus Maximus was a Roman commander (note: that word covers a multitude of positions in the late Empire; I don’t know what his formal rank and titles were) in Britain who proclaimed Emperor by the British legions in 383 CE. He conducted a whirlwind campaign that ended in the death of one of the western co-emperors, Gratian, at Lyons in August. He was then recognized by the eastern emperor, Theodosius I, and for four years the Empire was divided between a triumvirate of emperors: Maximus in Britain, Gaul, and Iberia; Valentinian II (Gratian’s half-brother) in Italy and Africa, and Theodosius I (who I think was Valentinian’s brother-in-law at the time) in the east. In 387, Maximus got greedy or something, and drove Valentinian out of Italy, with the intent of making himself sole western Emperor. Unfortunately for him, Theodosius took exception to this (it should be noted that Valentinian was only sixteen at this point, so Theodosius’ influence at Valentinian’s court was substantial, to say the least), and Maximus was defeated, captured, and shortened by Theodosius at Aquileia (near where Venice is now) the following July. The “Roman” armies on both sides were so heavily barbarized that contemporary panegyrists claimed that only two Romans died at Aquileia, Maximus and his son. A bit of exaggeration, especially in the case of Maximus’ army, but certainly along the correct lines.
As for goofy names, I am reminded of Gnaeus Pompeius’ styling of himself Magnus (“Great”), and the question being asked: “Great in comparison to whom?”
“Kings die, and leave their crowns to their sons. Shmuel HaKatan took all the treasures in the world, and went away.”
He had a wife, you know . . . do you know what she was called . . . ?
“It’s my considered opinion you’re all a bunch of sissies!”–Paul’s Grandfather
Helena, IIRC. I believe that there’s a track (1,500 years ago it was a road, but not now) in Wales that is either named after her, or after something that can’t be distinguished from “Helena” by Anglophones after 1,500 years.
“Kings die, and leave their crowns to their sons. Shmuel HaKatan took all the treasures in the world, and went away.”
…And let us not forget the ever so welcome Chrismus Bonus, who still visits a fortunate few of us once a year.
Oh man, how disappointing . . . after only a few hours, nobody said “Incontinentia Buttocks.”
“It’s my considered opinion you’re all a bunch of sissies!”–Paul’s Grandfather
Was Magnus Maximus related to Biggus Dickus?
pld, you got Magnus’ wife confused with his brother Glutius.
“Pardon me while I have a strange interlude.”-Marx
pld, you got Magnus’ wife confused with his brother Glutius.
“Pardon me while I have a strange interlude.”-Marx
I thought Magnus Maximus was the name of one of the guys in the “World’s Strongest Man” competition.
Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.
Actually I think that was Magnus VerMagnusson.
No one has really adressed the 2nd part of the question…were there other historical figures with equally goofy names??
and sorry Gluteous,his brother in law doesn’t count. 
There are only two things that are infinite…the Universe and Man’s stupidity…I’m not sure about the Universe though.
Ethelred the Unready, Pippin the Short. Couple of my favorites. And the Prince Pretender, couldn’t they find a real one?
“Pardon me while I have a strange interlude.”-Marx
Don’t forget Ima Hogg and her sister Ura.
–How about the 6th century monk who’s got everyone a-twitter about the (purely abrbitrary, cosmically speaking) century/millenium dating: Dionysus Exiguus, “Dennis the Small” or “Little Dennis” as they’ve been calling him? Personally, I think a Christian monk named after a drunk Roman god is a rather charming concept!
How about Punic Wars general, Gaius Flaminius?
–John
Don’t forget Charlemagne’s mom, Bertha Bigfoot. And it’s Pepin the Short, Mr. John.
How about BIGGUS DICKUS (Monty Python “Life of Brian”)??
does anyone read the entire thread before they post?
it would save the rest of us a lot of reading time.
what is essential is invisible to the eye -the fox
Was there ever really a man named Dick Buttkis?
“Wewease Wuddewick!”
“Releath Thiruth the athyrian athathin.”
KJ, if you’re seriously asking that question, yes there was a quite prominant man named Dick Butkus. He’s considered by many to the the greatest linebacker in professional football’s history, he played for the Chicago Bears from 1965-1973, was a two time all American at Illinois, enshrined in the Hall of Fame in 1979. If you’re serious, it saddens me that you have never heard of him. As for your spelling, I’m certain that someone has at one point, if he was famous I can’t say.
Alan Q, Dionysus is a Greek God, Bacchus is his Roman counterpart. One of my favorite mythological figures.