I missed the very beginning but it starred Casper Shiptrooper and Bouncing Boob Eleniak. Plus three deformed other people-- one was a guy in a wheelchair and the other two where Coolio and Tiny Lister.
They’re in a spaceship with coffins. Some happen to contain vampires. After Coolie (whose name in the movie is 168 or 892 or some other three digit number) becomes a vampire and very foulmouthedly offers to both screw and kill McBoobs, we somehow find out that Casper is a Van Hesling, so he should kill the vampire.
Meanwhile, the vampire captures McBoobs, tells her she’s the most beautiful creature in the universe and bites her. Only she comes back to the rest of the crew very unvampired. Humvee (Tiny) rightly doesn’t trust her and ties her up. Long story short. . . she’s a narc robot.
Many stupid things happen, including turning the ship toward the twin suns of some star system, everybody getting bit and killed except for Tiny and Boobs. Yes, even Van Hesling, so I don’t know why he’s a Van Hesling. Boobs tells Tiny she also used to be a pleasure bot, Tiny picks her up and heads off to. . . a bed, I guess? On the computer some guy who I’ve never seen before says, “I knew this would happen” and blows up the ship. The end.
What? Why? What was the point in all that? If there is another movie where everything that happened before the last 2 seconds was for no good reason at all, dopers will sure know it. What’s the most pointless movie you ever watched?