That’s annoying. I’m a big stickler that when people are asked questions, they should first answer exactly the question they asked.
You’re not a mind-reader! Feel free to add your interpretation of the unasked part, if you must, but only after you have answered the stated question to the best of your ability.
That’s what ticks me off too - particularly when I ask for a specific datum (e.g. the time, when I have both hands full), and the other person does not answer my question but the question “Should I worry?”. If I wanted to know if I should worry I’d have asked if I should worry. As I asked for the time, what I wanted to know is the time.
Ugh is right! We do that a lot in our house, and that question is the one most abused. “When do we have to leave?” I want to know when I need to get a shower, do I have time to take a nap, etc.
“Well, let’s see, the show starts at 8:00, but we said we’d meet the Smiths for drinks, and traffic is bad because they shut down a lane on 76.”
Just give me a time! I didn’t want to go to the show in the first place! And I hate the Smiths!
Accompanied by, “And be ready to leave at whatever time you give”? (Admittedly, not pedantry as discussed above.)
A very minor point I have learned to go with over 37+ years. I acknowledge that it rarely matters if we leave/arrive at a specific appointed time. But if we discuss and agree on leaving “at 630”, I presume you remember that, make some effort to be aware of the passing time, and be close to ready when 630 rolls around. I don’t want to keep calling out, “Are you aware of the time?” to urge you to be ready at 630. But, OTOH, if I just mind my own business and 630 comes and I’m ready to head out the door, if I ask whether you are ready, I’m not thrilled to hear, “Oh, is it 630 already? I need to take a shower…”
Whether it’s leaving to go to the airport to fly out, attend a scheduled event, or even a casual social event with an agreed on basic time, experience has shown me that with certain people, one must make known the need to adhere to the schedule. This would include nagging, if necessary.
You see, with certain people in my life, when they blithely dismiss my well founded lateness concerns as “Oh don’t worry, we have plenty of time, plenty!”. Experience has shown is that what they’re really saying is “It’s OK to be a little late”. This is nothing more than passive-aggressive sabotage as far as I’m concerned.
In our situation, it even gets down to daily walking the dog. Her, "Are you ready to walk the dog?? Me, “Yes!” I get up, put on whatever coat/gloves/hat/shoes are needed, put the leash on the dog and am ready in - oh - 15-30 seconds.
Meanwhile, she asks, “What is the temperature?” Goes to check thermometer, decides exactly which hat/gloves/coat to wear… While I stand there waiting. Tho only less than a minute, multiple by EVERY SINGLE TIME WE WALK THE DOG! (It isn’t as tho we are walking for hours/miles in the wilderness. Around 2 blocks in our neighborhood. If I’m a tad warm/cool, I’ll survive!)
The alternative is I just sit here, wait until she is entirely ready, and waiting for me, and then have her wait 15 sec while I put on my coat/shoes…
If that is the biggest problem we have, I suppose we are lucky indeed!
Yes, I AM that big of a pain in the ass to live with. I have no idea how/why she puts up with me!
That was an issue I had with my parents when we were visiting my sister in New York last Christmas. Being unfamiliar with public transit, every time we made plans to meet her somewhere in the city they would ask her how long it takes to get there on the subway. And she would give them a very conservative estimate. And then my parents would insist that we needed to leave the hotel like 30 minutes before when my sister told them we needed to leave, just in case. Since she had already overestimated the time it would take us to get there, we would invariably end up at the meeting point an hour early. I, personally, would have preferred spending that time waiting back in the comfy hotel room rather than on the sidewalk in the city.
I can relate. If we’re on a tight schedule, and I’m driving the schedule, I have to say something like, “Honey, we need to leave at 6:30. That means walking out the door at 6:30.”
Not finding your shoes, not taking a pee, not calling your sister first. Walking out the door.