For everyone that plays D&D and knows what a wish spell is, or for anyone just looking for some fun, that’s what this thread is for. My friends and I recently started making up wishes (i.e. I wish so-and-so was dead) and then thinking of ways, as the title of this thread so brilliantly illustrates, to screw them up,twist them around, or generally not give the wisher what (s)he wants. (i.e. You are transported forward in time to when the person is dead.)
P.S.: We orginally started this in a D&D type setting, but I’m expanding it. That’s why the example is about killing someone, I’m not actually a homocidial maniac.
P.S.S.: To start off, I have one that, so far, no one has been able to screw up:
I wish that any time I attacked an opponent, that opponent would die instantly.
“I wish that any time I attacked an opponent, that opponent would die instantly.”
Poof! Your opponent dies instantly, by exploding into large meaty chunks, and you are skewered and killed by a flying length of bone.
Hmm…I never thought of those…I’ll have to think of something else…heh…As for “I wish that this wish might not be granted,” the best I can do is any wish you ever make might not (with a %99.9 might not ) come true.
I decided a long time ago that if I had three wished, my first would be: I wish I was Jedi Master.
The problem: the wussy morals that go with it.
So at first my second wish was: I wish I did not have to adhere to any morals.
Then I realised that I could save a wish by just: wishing for Jedi skills.
But the dilemma came after: what else could I possibly wish for? With the ability to use the Jedi Mind Trick, to defend myself against attack, and a whole bunch of other stuff - I could walk round the Earth getting anything I wanted - and yet I’d remain apparently normal and blend in nicely.
But I’d probably get greedy and ask for a fully manned and equipped Super Star Destroyer encircling our planet. That would give me a bit of political importance. Either that or Voyager.
And I’d need a light sabre obviously.
Can’t see how all that could possibly finish arse end up…
I’ve never understood the idea behind a DM giving a player a wish, just so he can screw them over. What is the point? A DM can screw a player over whenever he or she wants; he doesn’t need a wish to do this. What does this accomplish?
I’ve heard the defense of “Well, sometimes players wish for game-breaking things.” Then don’t give them the wish in the first place. If you don’t trust them to do something reasonable with it, why offer it in the first place?
Well, alot depends on the DM. I am known as one that, well, Lets just say that they’re REAL careful about what they wish for. The people I play with will take whatever I do with crocking a wish and incorparate it into their character, and play with it (Very rarely will I hose a player with a death on a wish unless it’s VERY self serving). On the other hand, if it’s a very self sacrificing wish, to help another player or somthing like that, I’ll usually let the wish happen (albeit with at least a little crock.)
One thing to remember is that a wish is the most powerful magic in D&D, and that usually whoever grants the wish WILL crock it for thier own personal reasons, and usually the DM has to take that into account, (is this a other planer being that’s granting this wish against his will?, or an item, or spell? etc etc)
If it’s a fair DM you’ll see ALOT of crocked wishes, BUT they add to the fun and enjoyment of the game if done properly.
/hijack
As for a wish to Crock?
I wish for a sword that will instantly kill any adversary!
(Crocked by no creature/person would fight him as they all considered him thier bestest friend!)
or
I wish for a Keep that was Impenetrable to attack!
(Crocked by a keep that was…Impenetrable. They couldn’t even figure out how to even get INTO the darn thing.
Remember that the original idea of role-playing games was to let the players enter into the fantasy world of their favorite fiction in a much more interactive way. The mis-fired wish is a common theme in fiction, op. cit. “The Monkey’s Paw”.
The wish is (probablby) the ultimate intellectual pitting of the player-character against the DM.
The mis-fired wish helps form the lore that individuals get from the game. This is my favorite part of the game; in fact, I’d rather hear other people’s stories about past games than actually play.
[/hijack]
In one group I played in, there was a really obnoxious kid. This group had magical mutations (not sure which game it was). The kid had to have one of these, and bugged the DM to death for one. The DM finally gave him the mutation of eternal life. The question is, if you life forever, where is your consciousness? The DM decided it rested in the brain, so that whatever happened to the body, wherever the brain ended up would still be conscious and alive.
He ended up having his head cut off. The other player’s took the head back to the bar where all of this DM’s adventures started, and he became a bar ornament.
The DM seriously considered feeding his brain to a dog. Hmmm, sentient dog shit, anyone?
lurkernomore: when I become aware that the enemy is there, I mentally attack him/it by thinking mean things at it; kind of a variation of verbally attacking someone/thing.
Ethilrist: Hmm…the first one works, but for the rest, I said opponent…accidently smacking someone would probably not constitute them as an opponent…however, I do see your point.
Drat…I just thought up a counter to my wish…They die and instantly become an undead (i.e. zombie, vampire) and kill you. Bummer.
For those unfamiliar with D&D, Wish is a basicly the ultimate all-purpose spell. It can do anything that can be done by any other form of magic or power allowed in the game. As such it isn’t quite the same as being able to do anything. When I’ve played the DM usually allowed the wish to succeed as intended if it was for something that could be accomplished by another spell, but screwed it up if the player wished for something that involved arbitrarily altering reality.
How about this?
Your in a dark place and you see somebody coming towards you with their sword drawn, which is really just your reflection in a mirror. You attack and you die. Maybe, maybe not. It might not get you since it’s just an image.
The grog you drank has been laced with a hallucinogen. You begin to see spiders crawling all over you and worms crawling out of your skin. You attack yourself you die. hmm.
Hmm, I think I’m the kind of guy who’d wish for small yet useful wishes. Like 360º vision, see in dark, see 5 seconds into the future kind of stuff. But then I’m not a gambler. Or maybe skunk glands. That’d be fun. Somebody makes fun of my look EP count I’d skunk 'em.
Osiris: Heh, I got one for ya…when you wish to know what to wish for, EVERYTHING that could ever be wished for goes at once into your brain, completely overloading it, leaving you a vegetable.
