Ways you've been unpleasantly awakened.

In My Humble Opinion (IMHO)
#1

I’ve been awakened by hyper kittens attacking my eyelids (my fault, I suppose, but there’s nothing I can do about that pesky REM), by the mail carrier trying to beat down my door, by a loudly screeching donkey, and by a rooster breaking forth into crow while standing on my chest (it was summer and I was sleeping on a cot outside - damn chicken snuck up on me).

Then there’s my daughter’s alarm clock.

She got it from my sister, who got it in (I think) Dubai, and it’s a little plastic mosque which plays a recording of the call to prayer. At least I think it’s the call to prayer. It’s Arabic singing, anyway. And it’s loud. Oh, so very loud.

When you’re dozing on the couch, and you know you’re home alone, and suddenly you hear a man wailing inside the house, and the dog chooses that exact moment to go insane because she hears a stranger - it wakes you up. It wakes you up so thoroughly that you may never go to sleep again.

My daughter is diabolical and will set the thing to go off at random times when she’s not home, just to mess with us (my husband’s been startled by the thing, too).

So what’s your least favorite way to wake up?

#2

Helicopters doing low flyovers. Fortunately it’s only happened about three times.

#3

A bear attacking me and my tentmate.

#4

From Memorial Day this year:

(Phone rings, waking me up)

“Hi Valgard. It’s Dad. My mom just died.”

(She was 91 and in poor health, but still)

#5

An insane lightning storm, while camping sans tent, just with a tarp.

The next night bear, sticking it’s paw between the chain-link fence front and wooden wall of a backpacking shelter.

The next night, a bear, not ten feet from our tarp. (It was an interesting trip).
Because my dad was a cruel, cruel man (who knew he didn’t want to be the one to make sure I got up in time to go to school) he trained our dog to come racing upstairs as soon as he let her out and then back in in the mornings. My mattress was just on the floor*, so my days generally started this way: clickclickclickclick panting COLD DOG NOSE. Followed, inevitably, by reminding my little turncoat canine that she was lucky she was so adorable, because otherwise she’d be toast.

*I have no idea why, but at some point in my teen years it seemed like a really awesome idea.

#6

Mt. St Helens threw me out of bed. No bears, though

#7

Oh lord…

Gunshots outside the building followed by circling police helicopters with search lights.

Screaming, moaning, and repeated smashing of glass followed by pounding on the front door.

The Muslim call to prayer, right outside the hotel window. Believe me, it’s louder in person.

But the worst was an unearthly scream of anguish that could only lead me to believe that someone was dying or dead. It was my dog, who had caught his toenail on the carpet and wrenched his ankle.

#8

My sleeping bag caught fire. Oddly enough, it was the sound of the crackling flames that woke me.

#9

Sudden shit emergency. No slow and gradual wakeup, just eyes popping open and my first thought being “Oh no!”

I scurried out of bed as fast as I could, and my calf cramped on me. I fell to the ground and crawled to the bathroom, tired, in pain, and confused. It was then that I knew that there truly was no God.

#10

Let’s see…cat landing on my stomach when I had a serious case of stomach flu, my husband waking up screaming from a horrible nightmare, and the thunderstorm to end all thunderstorms last summer that made me think half of our hillside was falling on our house.

However, the bear and Mt St Helens tops us all.

#11

“All hands on deck!”

#12

My condolences about your tentmate.

#13

One night I had a dream that I had been kidnapped and my legs were tied together. I woke up and our cat (fixed) was humping my legs. We now sleep with the bedroom door shut.

#14

Lightning striking my house.

Also, the “thump” of a body on the floor, followed a few seconds later by the screaming of a 6 year old who insisted on sleeping in the top bunk even though there was nobody on the bottom.

#15

This was not me - well it was, but I was the one blowing the trumpet at my sister who was notoriously hard to wake. I have never seen her move that fast in my life.

#16

A hot air balloon flaying about 30’ from our window trying to land on the street. The roar of the burner took me a long time to figure out what it was till the whole balloon appeared in front of the window, forcing me bolt-upright.

#17

I once had a fire detector that announced “Warning! Low battery!” when the batteries were getting low. I have no idea what moron designed that, because the first time it went off was at 2 am outside my bedroom door. I woke up thinking I was in a home invasion situation, because I hadn’t heard the words–just a loud, demanding voice ordering me to do something.

Also, when I first got my dog, he was pretty traumatized, having been abandoned at the animal shelter twice–the first time after the original owners had him for five years. It took him a long time to trust that he wasn’t going to be ditched again, and sometimes he’d have nightmares in which he let out the most heartbroken and lost howl you could imagine. It would yank me from sleep and leave my heart pounding, feeling like the entire world was crumbling. Fortunately, those eventually went away.

#18

Well when I was a wee lad some of my mom’s friends woke me up by shoving ice cubes down my pajama pants.

Then there was the time I was in such a deep sleep that I fell into the space between the bed and the wall and couldn’t extract myself.

I have yet to be awoken by my preferred method. :smiley:

#19

Yeah, I’ve experienced rude awakening by lightning storm in Florida.

I was just getting off to sleep when an enormous crash literally made me jump out of bed. I thought a car accident had just occurred it was so loud!

I quickly realised that the thunder that followed meant that it was only lightening, and I quickly settled back down to sleep … 30 seconds later, just as I’m dropping off - crash! and I’m jumping out of bed again!!

#20

Earthquake. Back in 2001.

It felt like someone was shaking the bed a little. Then I went back to sleep despite the fact it was something like 10am already.