It’s sad that, even though we understand intellectually that we should live each day to the fullest, we still don’t. We stress and fret over the smallest things, and worse, we think ourselves to be so high and mighty for our little accomplishments. Of course, I know that I’m falling into a reductionist spiral here, where I say that ultimately nothing matters because there is something bigger out there. But since this is in the MPSIMS, I guess it’s okay.
Does anyone else think about how really pointless a lot of the things we worry about are? I’m finding myself doing this more and more, and it’s frustrating because there doesn’t seem to be a way to turn it off.
Never lose sight of the fact that the yoke of worry you carry, heavily upon your shoulders, day after day is something that only gets there in one fashion.
Each and every day, when you wake, you willingly load the worry yoke! It is your master and you are it’s slave!
You alone possess the power to choose not to wear it, like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz. The world will not end if you refuse the worry yoke for a day.
Try it, if you dare, and see. I warn you though, this is what leads to the slaves breaking free from the masters!
Can you give us some examples of what you worry about? Some worries are reasonable so I figure out what I’ll do in the worst case scenario and then put it out of my mind until the time comes to deal with it. Some are unreasonable things that I can’t do anything about so I don’t dwell on them. For example, if big things like world hunger bother you and you feel that there’s nothing that you can do but fret about it, look a bit closer to home and go volunteer at a soup kitchen.
I think that no matter what you worry about you need to develop the ability to put something out of your mind and stop thinking about it at least for a while. It’s easier said than done at first but after a while you get used to telling your mind ‘not now’.
Yeah. I’m pretty happy. I DO believe I’m a unique snowflake… we are all, in fact, unique snowflakes, and just because someone is not universally known and loved does not mean they are not important or interesting. I think the idea that we are all common and would be better off accepting mediocrity is a well-meaning lie. There is nothing common and unimportant about every day life. So much of our greatness and life satisfaction stems from the choices we make. The world is full of extraordinary people who never make the front page news.
Yup! Sure, I’m not setting the world on fire, but I’m happy. I recognise which worries are worth spending time on (although I try to approach them in a problem-solving way and not a ‘fretting’ way) … and which ones will probably *never *happen, so I just don’t let them rent space in my head.
I suspect the OP’s problem is that he is, after all, a ‘statsman’. If you’re looking at the world from the perspective of averages, your perspective is bound to get more than a little skewed. Bring it back to the individual, and the world’s frequently not as bad as it’s made out to be.
You’re a grad student-- it’s your modus operandi. It’s a state of being. Stop worrying about your worrying. Consider it an annealing process. Have a beer. Watch some Venture Brothers.
I’m finding I worry a lot less now that my nightmares have come true. I think I would have preferred a less traumatic way to stop worrying, but it is what it is.
For most people, life can’t be lived in a big-picture way all of the time: it would be overwhelming, and probably even paralyzing. What matters is the awareness that there is a big picture.
Living each day to the fullest sounds a lot like living each day as if it were our last. You only need to do that one time and wake up the following day to realize that hedging your bets might not be a bad idea.Life is day to day so it doesn’t seem too weird to get bogged down in little problems as if they were big ones. Most days will have another that follows…all except one. Not bad odds.
He had a lot more to say. This was from a commencement speech. It’s not a coincidence, either, that these are the words of a very smart, very aware person who killed himself – who was ultimately ineffective, by all indications, at escaping the trap he was warning about. This was a person who understood the sort of despair (a Wallace word) you’re talking about, I’ll wager, better than you do, and certainly better than I do, and he thought it was a battle that we can win, but more importantly, one we can fight, if you know what I mean. It’s something we exercise control over. That’s a big deal: “constructing meaning from experience.”
In my case it probably means I should spend less time on The Dope
Understand that worrying is about as effective as trying to solve an algebra problem by chewing gum. the real problems in your live are likely to’ve never crossed your worried mind right up until the time the blindsided you on some idle tuesday afternoon…but trust me, on the sunscreen
