**1. Do you think you worry more or less than the “average” person? **
More, I think. I tend to be a perfectionist and panic if I think i’m doing something wrong or something’s out of control.
2. If you don’t mind sharing, what are your current worries? Put them in order of smallest to biggest if you like.
gosh- I worry about how fat I am, how I look, how people see me, I worry about the play and school and dance and my friends, I worry about money and college, my future, my family, my dog, I worry that I forgot to flush the toilet or that my bra is showing or that you can see my underwear, that it’ll rain and I’ll have no umbrella, that I’ll get fatter and stop getting roles in things, that people think I don’t deserve the roles I get becuase I’m young or really becuase I don’t deserve them, that my parents will be disappointed in me, that my sisters will pick up some of my neuroses, that I won’t be good enough, that people will look at me… and also that they won’t. That I’ll be forgotten, tht I make too much noise or need too much or take up too much space…
I worry constantly that I’m not good enough or doing something wrong- tonight my boss said, “don’t forge to set the tables before you leave” and I thought, “oh my god, do I usually forget? Did I forget once? did somebody else have to pick up my slack?”
3. Does worrying ever get in the way of your doing something?
Yes, it has. I’ve skipped auditions before because I convince myself that i won’t get in, or opted not to se old friends becuase I’m afraid they’ll think I’m too fat and be disgusted by me… things like that. Also, when I get really nervous, i sometimes get flustered and make mistakes (which, of course, makes me even more nervous)
4. Do you ever worry about how much you worry?
gosh, yeah- just tonight I was thinking, “my god, I’m a neurotic mess. How am I ever supposed to get anywhere?”
**5. What are your strategies for coping with your worries? **
When it comes to nagging worries, I usually just do my best to prevent the outcome I don’t want. I work my ass off at school and in theatre and dance- I haven’t figured outm how to deal with social things, though. How not to care if people don’t like me and how to be likable without trying so hard. When it comes to being nervous/flustered, I go to the bathroom. I wash my hands, look in the mirror, and say, “quit it, dumbass. they’re not going to fire you for spilling water and if you keep freaking out about it, you’ll spill more.”
6. Do you think you worry more than you used to, less than you used to, or the same?
I’ve always worried. I probably worry more now than I used to- life’s not just school, dance, and playtime anymore.
7. WHY do you think you worry so much?
Because if I let myself slack off, things will spin out of control. I’ll spin out of control and I’ll fail at everything.
8. Please share any other thoughts you may have about worrying.
It is hard to know what the average is when it comes to worrying- most people don’t KNOW I worry about stuff (although I’ve had a fair number of people tell me not to stress myself out so much. That could be because I just have so much to do, or maybe I’m just really bad at hiding it.) but it would seem that most people, if they really worried, would do something about it. If you were afraid you’d lose your job, would you talk on the phone the whole time, be rude to customers, and ignore the dress code? If you stayed up nights worrying about school, wouldn’t it make sense to do your homework instead of going to parties? I don’t know. I just don’t understand how people can stand to be like that.
