We don't need no blooming onions.

The BBQ Pit
#1

We have long since forgiven the US for Uncle Sam deodorant. We’ve forgiven you for KFC, Pizza Hut, Taco Bell, and Dominoes. We may even one day forgive you for McDonalds. We even like you for Sizzler.

Imagine then my shock at finding in my local paper yesterday an advertisement for “The Outback Steakhouse” (whose slogan should surely be "The Aussie food you have when you’re not having Aussie food).

This kind of betrayal cannot go unavenged. We intend to infiltrate your culture with Chiko Rolls and battered savs until you withdraw. We will send in guerrila troops to put beetroot and pineapple on your hamburgers. We will replace your chocolate spread with vegemite and your Budweiser with Fosters.

And if you still do not capitulate, we will undermine the cultural fabric of your nation by introducing pie floaters to the US - that’ll teach you.

#2

<Pink Floyd>
We don’t need no Bloomin’ Onions
We don’t want their cholesterol!
No Aussie Cheese Fries in our bellies
Hey! Veggies! Leave those wings alone!
Outback Steakhouse: You’re a crappy shithole.
Outback Steakhouse: You’re a crappy shithole!

< /Pink Floyd>

Fenris, who doesn’t mind their leathery, flavorless steaks, mediocre service and uninspired menu as much as their annoying fake Aussie-accented radio ads that are **SIXTY-FOUR BILLION DECIBLES ** louder than any other ad.

#3

“Bloomin’ Onion? We don’t need no stinkin’ Bloomin Onion!”

#4

Sizzler’s American???

Shit.

Anyway, YOU may forgive them for all those things, but I still don’t forgive them for Starbucks.

At least, not until it imitates ‘Schlotsky’s Sidewalk Cafe’ and closes down in utter humiliation and bankruptcy (cue maniacal laughter here)

[Embarassing confession] I like Maccas [/Embarassing confession]

#5

At least their menu’s a hoot (I’d forgotten about Starbucks, and The Lone Star).

Crawfish? Shrimp? Yep, they get heaps of those in Toowoomba.

And WTF is Monterey Jack?

Notice the absence of Vegemite and Coon cheese from the sanger menu.

Not a pavlova in sight on the dessert menu.

And you’ve got to love the references to “New York style” (what’s the obsession with cinnamon apples anyway?).

At least I know where not to eat if I’m ever in the US and I feel homesick for Aussie tucker.

And what’s with them locating the store at Parklea - it’s not anywhere near where the tourist hang out, so they aren’t even going to be able to con anyone into thinking it’s authentic.

#6

I have never heard of Uncle Sam Deodorant.
They have opened Outbacks in Australia?
Weird.

Any way, who cares. I have this theory that one day there will some great cataclysm, whether it be disease, nuclear war, or even asteroid, that will destroy much of world civilization leaving only the well isolated Australians to finally rule the world.

Oh well, no worries.

#7

Exactly.

Here in Melbourne we are lucky enough to have the best espresso coffee available from scores, no hundreds, of excellent little coffee places all over the city and suburbs.

We don’t need phoney, false, cutesy, price-inflated, marketing-directored, art-directored, just plain BAD coffee! Gaaaaagh!

[hijack] Also, welcome to the Boards Aspy mate - have you checked out Dopers Downunder yet? worth a visit![/hijack]

Redboss

#8

Psssst, Redboss? Check out his registration date. He’s just shy, but he’s not new. :wink:

Having said that: BWAHAHAHAHAAA!! Outback Steakhouse opens an affiliate in Australia? I’m dying over here! :slight_smile:

Reminds me of that time I spotted a “Real American Hot Dog” stand in Hamburg, Germany. Dude. This is Germany, fercryinoutloud. It’s safe to say these people know their sausages. Then again, the hot dog vendor probably was German, of course.

Another example: Santa Claus is based on Saint Nicholas. Ironically enough, Santa Claus is now almost as popular in the Netherlands as his “father”, Sinterklaas (the phonetic version of the name). We’ve reaped what we’ve sown, I guess. :slight_smile:

#9

A very good cheese. Think very mild cheddar, but melts better.

**

Had vegemite when I was in Scotland (on a dare: “I’ll try the haggis if you try the Vegemite.” I got the short end of the stick. Pfagh. Pblech. eeeewwww.

Oh, and from your first post you said "We even like you for Sizzler. "

For heaven’s sake: Why? Other than it’s salad bar, it’s actually worse than Outback by a fair measure.

And did anyone look at their menu? They describe one of their appetizers as a true Ab-original. There’s a way to be sensitive. What’s next: a Jew-licious Oven-Roasted Chicken? A Niggerriffic-Spare Ribs entree? :rolleyes:

Fenris

#10

Why is that insensitive?
Sure, it’s a cheesy play on words, but “Aboriginals” or “Aboriginees” are accepted terms for the native population of Australia.

Or did I miss a meeting on that one?

#11

It’s about time someone replaced our Bud with SOMETHING. Bud is yucky. Ptoooey. Send good beer.

Thanks.

L

#12

I like pineapple on hamburgers.

#13

Sorry, Reprise… I do NOT agree on the Sizzler thing!

#14

Foster’s is pretty bad too, IMHO. The Aussies are clearly keeping the good stuff to themselves, while deceiving the innocent Americans with the old “It’s from far away, therefore it’s good”-scam, otherwise known as the Heineken Maneuver.

#15

Outback Steakhouses here! It must mean war. Let us not remain satisfied with infiltrating the Great Satan with beetroots and pineapple and vegimite. We must attack America’s allies and trading partners too.

As I write, my local Lucky Golden Dragon Chinese Takeaway is preparing greasy prawn crackers and a sickly batch of sweet & sour pork to send to China. Samuai Kitchen, the sushi bar around the corner is whipping up teriyaki chicken rolls - with little tomato sauce sachets - for a post haste carpet-bombing of Japan. And the local Mr Lasagne has plans for Italy… oily, Coon cheese-covered plans.

#16

Dunno? Maybe I did! :wink:

I thought the term was considered vaguely insulting…carrying a “primitives”-type connotation. Isn’t their actual name Maori (sp?)

Fenris

#17

My misspelling of Vegemite was obviously a ploy to weed out the foreigners infiltrators among us.

#18

That would be the native population of New Zealand. :slight_smile:

#19

Stone the crows!:eek: I’ve spotted an infiltrator!

#20

Aboriginal is an “acceptable” term here - one question on most government forms is “are you of Aboriginal or Torres Strait Islander descent?” - but it isn’t one people tend to use as a self-description.

It’s becoming more and more common for people with Aboriginal or Torres Strait Islander ancestry to refer to the specific tribal/clan connections in their heritage.