We don't swim in your toilet..

Ok, the water park opens today, and the hoi polloi are all scrubbed and anointed with rare oils. I got to wondering: What percentage of them are actually relieving themselves underwater, that is, at what concentration does urine (not to mention fecal coliform) shut down a public pool? I have a feeling the answer may not please us.

Ok, where I come from, ( and I went to school with a gui who worked at a water park ) unless someone yells, " Oh my god, there is a THING swimming toward me", nothing is done except the removal of the THING, and some major addition of “chlorine” (I think thats the name in English) in the pool.

Eventually the recicling process will sift it out.

Oh my god, it gives me the willies…

Public bathing, yuck.

You can tell what the concentration is because when you look at a light after being in the water you see rings around it. More rings, more organics in the water. They are not caused by chlorine.

Plenty of kids pee in the water parks and some shit too.

Men don’t pee, men piss.

A phone call the the manager of the pool might help. He/she should be able to tell you what they are required to do by law.
I worked at a public pool in the 60’s. Back then we were required to check the chlorine content of the water every three hours.

I won’t swim in a pool, or any other contained body of water. If a human contagion doesn’t make you sick, the stuff they use to control them will.

When I played water polo in high school I got ear aches and colds all the time. Now a days I surf several times a week, and not a sniffle. Where I play in the water, human excrement is literally a drop in the ocean. In a pool it’s more like a bucket or two in a small pond.

A sign I saw once:

(Note that we left the P out. Please help us keep it that way.

This just in:
Conspicuous signage at the pool yesterday states: “NEW LAW - All infants and toddlers who have not been potty-trained are required by law to wear tight-fitting rubber pants when in the pool (no diapers)!
If a patron has vomited of defecated in the pool, the pool must be closed for 30 minutes for ‘cleanup’.”

Yes… the word “cleanup” was in quotes.
Uh… I dunno about you, but I think I’d just call it a day. Or quits.

I just came off the phone with one of the officials for public health in Iceland and he had to admitt that there are’nt any laws on human excrament “per sey”. He joked about it and said that if he could not see to the bottom he would close the pool. (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA) :frowning: :frowning:

But there sure are laws on water cleaness that have to be followed.

ERGO: Human piss is not considered a bad thing.

PS: But shit sure is and all the shit on earth is dumped into the sea where people surf…


Shit is not dumped into the sea in California per se. It’s filtered out first and then treated.

However, sometimes [like 18 times in one year] the sewer pumping plant overflows and then they directly dump it into the sea [pretty close to my surf spot too]. We are lucky if they inform us promptly, but alas, often they do not.

I seem to recall reading that there is now an additive that can be put in pool water that will make urine turn bright red. Wow! Wouldn’t that be hilarious…especially if they didn’t tell people they’d put it in the water?

Live a Lush Life
Da Chef

Sign near my hot tub:


The thing that makes me wanna hurl is when people in the pool come up for air and spit the water from their mouths. I don’t know what is worse - knowing what is in the water (and now in their mouth) or knowing that we can now add “spit” to the list of body fluids we are floating around in.


He who walk through airport door sideways going to Bangkok. - Confucius

"I don’t know
what is worse - "

I can tell you Diane–sperm. Who would want to take a sperm bath?

Chef–I was reading a biography of Orson Welles, and in it there was a discussion he had with the author about one of his pet peeves, guests peeing in the pool. He did have this mysterious additive put in the water so he could catch the culprit. Surprise–EVERYONE peed in the pool! He credited it with the feeling of relaxation you get in the water, coupled with an easy method of elimination.

As to crapping in the pool, thank ghod I’ve never encountered that. It would traumatize me forever.

Now if we could just come up with an additive that would make farts visible, we could make a fortune selling dispensers to the elevator companies…

Your remarks about, uhhh, “solids” in the pool makes me want to rush out and rent Caddyshack for the hilarious scene where a Baby Ruth candy bar is dropped in the pool and causes a stampede, then Bill Murray is sent in wearing a chemical-warfare suit to retrieve it and takes a bite when he realizes what it is. I was rolling!

Live a Lush Life
Da Chef

It should be pointed out that urine, while disgusting, is usually pretty harmless unless the person has a urinary infection. Uric acid is strong enough to kill most biologicals long before anything leaves the bladder. And what does escape should be easy pickings for the chlorine. That said, the kids whom decide to excersize their lower sphincters (The upper ones are usually releasing aural crap, rather than physical.) should be forced to drink a large portion of the water they just befouled. That type of excrement is usually filled with unwanted biologicals.

>>while contemplating the navel of the universe, I wondered, is it an innie or outie?<<

—The dragon observes

Ummmmm . . . . <efg>


He who walk through airport door sideways going to Bangkok. - Confucius

Maybe no one else has heard this, but human urine is fairly sterile and has actually been used as a mild disinfectant by people in the woods or something. So, if chlorine is sterile, and urine is sterile…

I used to swim regularly at a local Y that had about 200 kids a day in it. in one summer the pool was closed 4 times for 48 hours each time after poop accidents. (Once after vomit). FAAAAAAAAAAAAABulous.

And let me put it to ya this way: they closed the pool for a month once to drain it completely and do some maintenance. When it re-opened, I was alarmed to note how suddenly the water didn’t taste SALTY anymore!

And now I have my OWN pool in my own backyard! And the only kids who are ever in it are religious about getting out and peeing on my lawn, which is a-ok with me!