Titus Andronicus?
The best meal I’ve had was many smaller courses of high quality food with artistic presentations and some gastronomy tricks. It took a few hours. But everything was delicious, a few things divine and it added up to a lot of food and matching wine. It was not cheap but was well worth it.
Olive oil sorbet is better than it sounds, but olives are not the same thing.
I had a meal at a Michelin place in Kyoto which had a lot of bizarre tastes. But portions were okay and some of it was amazing. But none of it was as good as fatty tuna.
Maybe this is the normal for Michelin restaurants, but this didn’t sound like a meal so much as a immersive art installation. And they forgot to tell the patrons.
It sounds like L’idiot, but that was at least funny.
I’ve never eaten at a place like that but my reading indicates that in the best places the servers also instruct the diners in how the food should be eaten as well as what is in it and potentially in the chef’s intention in serving that particular dish.I would love to try Alinea. At the restaurant in question, though, it seems that the entire staff took a very condescending attitude toward the patrons (as did the chefs). It’s the difference between ignoring food allergies and what happened at The French Laundry, according to Anthony Bourdain, where the chef, knowing that he was not allowed to smoke and would be suffering nicotine withdrawal, served him a dish called “coffee and a cigarette” with a coffee dessert topped with real tobacco. That is a bizarre dish but perfectly tailored to the consumer and shows a chef who cares about his guests’ experience.
We had a meal cooked by a period chef who has written books and gotten awards. The food was very tasty, however, each serving was indeed about a tablespoonful. I had to laugh at the chicken- it was the smaller part of a wing. But it was very very good, even tho we needed a second dinner later.
And it was for a fundraiser, so we didn’t mind the high price.
I’ve eaten at a few of these high end (or attempting to be high end) places. I don’t think any are Michelin star, but at least the local place has some James Beard awards.
The worst place was in Europe. It was some sort of molecular gastronomy pub, but it was really just a bunch of baby food swirled artistically on plates or poured into shot glasses. You know what would have been better than asparagus foam? Asparagus.
The local place did a bunch of tiny plates that was supposed to add up to a full meal. Each one tasted fantastic, but it was paced so slow that it was pretty aggravating. The people I was sitting near were all talking about going to the brew pub next door for a burger, and wondering if we could be back in time for the next course. The only saving thing was the dessert was so rich that I at least was satiated by the time the meal was done. I would have been far happier to have had a normal size portion of any three or so.
I just purchased this book (My Dining Hell) thanks to your post. It is superbly funny!!!
“Molecular gastronomy” doesn’t mean you’re only going to be served a molecule at a time.
I’ve eaten plenty of MG-based or -inspired degustation menus, I’ve never left hungry - not stuffed, sure, and that’s a plus - but never hungry.
If I were completely hungry at the end of an expensive meal, I’d be having very strong words with the staff.
So, the sort of place where the waiters make shit up? That’s not the difference. One is the small end of the tenderloin, one is the middle. Or they’re both centre cut, but prepared differently if you go by the “roasted between two lesser cuts” preparation for the latter. And there’s the sauce. I’ve never heard this “different direction of cut” distinction before.
Well, it’s entirely possible I’m misremembering what the server told me; this was about ten years ago or so, and I’m not a foodie.
There are so many gems in that blog post.
A video of the shirtless kitchen staff doing extreme sports played on a large screen TV while a chef cut us comically tiny slivers of fake cheese.
I guess I’m a foodie. They are both cut against the grain. 
Right. I mean, it’s a long torpedo shaped cut of meat. You cut it like you slice a baguette. Actually across the grain, I guess.
My guess is that it would be olive oil ice cream which I’ve had a couple of times. It has a salty-umami flavour that’s quite pleasant, especially when combined with bitter flavours like dark chocolate.
Of course, given the restaurant review, my guess could be totally wrong and they presented an olive sorbet.
Way to close to edible.
How about a drop of olive oil artfully placed in a teaspoon of water?
It’s been done.
Nope. I Googled it. It’s a thing. They use olives to make the ice cream and some restaurants serve it smothered in a chunky olive sauce.
As Joe Piscopo once said:
”Okay, now I’m gonna puke!”
I’ll pass, thanks.
Maybe if the olive ice cream was part of a pizza sub sundae with little chunks of cheese, pepperoni and pepperocini?
Yeccch. I’d still pass. The review was great though.
Mrs. J. once got lemon balm ice cream for dessert at a semi-artsy café.
It was not a success. Apparently the “subtle citrusy flavor” was more like dog.
The solid science of homeopathy, wedded to culinary arts!