My husband and I are in the process of completing our adoption paperwork and home study as part of concurrent planning for a known 10 year old girl. S is under a supervision order with her mother at the moment as a ‘last chance’, but we will be adopting her if things go sideways and the judge severs mom’s rights. The hearing is at the end of February.
The public system adoption process in Alberta is a pretty long one. We started everything last March with orientations, then paperwork that included a criminal records check, documentation on our personal histories, written references (three total) and financial records. Following the completion of all of that, our file is handed over to a home study consultant. We met with her for the first time last week. This meeting was one of three or four (probably four) over a month in which she gathers a bunch of information about us to write up a report on us and our lives. She also ‘recommends’ or ‘doesn’t recommend’ our approval to the province, who has final say.
This first meeting lasted about two hours and we went over our physical and personal attributes, and our histories. We primarily talked about my history - it was actually quite difficult and at the end I felt like a giant fuck up who doesn’t deserve any children. Regardless, after discussing with my husband, others who have done the home study process, and our psychologist, I don’t think I have anything to worry about. Still stressful however.
Going forward, we have a four hour meeting set up for February 5th for individual interviews. Unfortunately, we will not have our approval before S’s court date, but we will be ready shortly afterwards. Our hope is that the province places her in her known foster home while waiting for us rather then putting her somewhere she is unfamiliar with.
On a happy note, we have S next weekend. It’s difficult to hear about what her life is like at home, but we have our fingers crossed that she’ll be with us soon!
Thank you so much for posting this update! I am certain I am not alone in having thought of your family struggles to adopt, often since you informed us of the circumstances! I am delighted to hear things are moving forward, and so happy to hear you’ll all be together for the weekend!
I am confident your interviews will all go your way. The love and caring you both have for this child comes through so clearly in all you post, I am certain it’s even more in evidence in person. Try not to worry.
I do hope you realize that we are all pulling for the three of you. I, for one, am anxiously anticipating the day you post to tell us you three are finally the family you all wanted and deserve! It couldn’t happen to a nicer family, in my humble opinion!
Thank you for such kind words, elbows! We are hopeful too, but not as hopeful as we once were. There are some issues with the system and they’re in play in this situation unfortunately. We were recently told that the only way she will be removed from the home is if she is in physical danger. She is not in physical danger, but her home situation is pretty bad otherwise.
All we can do is hope her new social worker (the third in two years) and the judge see what’s going on. We have been advised to try to help her get a lawyer to represent her (even though she is young for it - generally at 12 they get their own lawyer) at the hearing. They will help her get her own needs and wants heard. I will keep you posted!
I definitely agree with elbows. From what you’ve posted on here, I think you would be a great mom and I’m sure that’s clear in real life too. Hope that everything works out for this girl’s best interest.
I am incredibly happy for you. My husband and I plan to adopt from the state when the time comes. I imagine it would be very difficult to have your life subjected to such scrutiny! That’s something I really am bracing myself for, and I worry my mental health history will be held against me. But what can you do, you know? You just have to be your own best self and be confident that they will see that and know you are a good parent. And I have no doubt that in your case they will see that.
