We have a deadbeat's phone number

The BBQ Pit
1

I’ve probably mentioned we moved on December 1st. With the move came a new phone number. Unfortunately.

We have inherited the phone number of a jackass who never paid a bill in his life. There are at least 10 calls a day trying to get money out of this rodent.

Solutions:

  1. Get caller ID. We only got this after a few weeks of answering pestering phone calls (politely at first but no longer).

  2. Get a new phone number. Not yet, but we’re on the verge. The phone company charges for this, not to mention the inconvenience of going through the whole ordeal again (making sure everyone has new number, etc.)

  3. Finding this asshole and beating him with a club.I wish.

Mr. Charles A Davis, you’re costing me money and aggravation with your piss poor credit problems. I don’t even like talking on the phone that much, let alone explaining to one creditor after another that no, he DOESN’T HAVE THIS NUMBER ANYMORE!! SHIT!! GODDAMN IT!!

Allright, I feel a little better.

Still trying to think of something witty to say here

2

Its been 2 years in March that I have had this number, I STILL get calls for the Shank’s.
Ryan, the teenage son, debaucher of teen girls, paperboy.
Mrs. Shanks…by all accounts the martyred mom,
and Mr Shanks…hey, the pawnshop called.

Call the phone company, if you are getting calls like this, they will change the # free of charge…they will here anyway. I chose to keep mine : XXX-5355, cuz 5355 spells K-E-L-L.

Get a machine that tells callers that Mr. Whoever has died.

My machine actuall said " If you are trying to reach the shanks, they DONT HAVE THIS NUMBER ANYMORE!!"

Have fun with it.

3

I’ve lived.

My number is unlisted. Unfortunately, it wasn’t previously and belonged to one helluva yowlin’, prowlin’ stud.

Anyone else of an age to remember “DAVE’S NOT HERE!!” Well, the former stud was named Dave and I purely goggle at hearing myself zing out old comedy routines at 3:00 a.m.

Not Dave,
Veb

4

I dunno, if you’ve got some free time it can be fun to play with the repeat callers…
(once is an acceptable mistake, more than once and you’re free game.)
I would suggest pretending to be the person in question-then tell whoever is calling exactly what you think of them in excrutiation detail. It’s great fun. (or maybe i’m just a nasty sociopath.)

5

My dad passed away in 1990, my mom passed away in 1998. I have the house and the telephone number. My mom bless her heart must have given to every charity ever named. I get these calls constantly…and yearly. For my dad and my mom. Finally after many frustrating calls I merely began saying Mr. … has been deceased since 1990 please change your records and never call here again. My suggestion to you would be tell them all that this gentleman is deceased and that’s all you know.

“Do or do not, there is no try” - Yoda

6

Many years ago, around 1970ish, I moved into a third-floor walkup SRO and got my first phone in my name. Immediately, I discover the sonofabitchin phone company has given me the old number of The KittiKatKlub! :mad:

Call the phone company and complain resolutely; if some lower-level gauleiter tries to make you believe it’s impossible without paying more, be sure to take his name and ask for the name of his supervisor. Then ask if his supervisor has a supervisor (the phone company is famous for multiply-redundant management structure, even now). Then get that guy’s name; then asked to be connected directly with the supervisor’s supervisor.

It’s truly remarkable, the effect this can often have.

CERTIFIABLY NOT INSANE!

7

A modest suggestion: Politely tell each bill collector that you fully intend to pay, but because of yer present financial circumstances you’ll be moving in a week.

Then give them the address and phone number of somebody you really owe a favor.
Dr. Watson
“Revenge is the best revenge.”

8

I have to admit I like the Doctors idea, but if you want to try something perhaps a touch more legal may I recommend ending your answering machine message with the words “if this is a creditor you may not call here anymore, respond by mail only , if you choose to continue to call there will be legal action”. I tried this and had about a month where there were many hang-ups, but since it has stopped. Therefore I assume a) whoever had the number previous started paying the bills, b)the creditors realized their mistake, or c) my tactic actually worked. You might give it a shot.

“Solos Dios basta”

9

Zeb,

I work for a phone company. We get calls like this all of the time. In cases like yours we will change the number for free. No problems, no hassles. Hell, WE gave you the number. Just tell them that you are getting all these harrassing (exaggerate a bit - tell them abusive) calls from collection agencies and the like for the previous owner of the number - they should change it free of charge with no problems. If they don’t get a supervisor - they’ll take care of it.

Princess of the Time and Space Continuum since 1969 (upgraded to Goddess 01/07/00)

OK, we have enough youth. How about a fountain of smart. =^…^=

10

Ya know, Konrad…everytime I start thinking that maybe you’re not such an asshole after all, you go and muck it up.

“…being normal is not necessarily a virtue. It rather denotes a lack of courage.”

11

Konrad? Huh? Nevermind.

When I lived in grad housing at a big mid-west frat school I would got many many wrong number calls late late on weekend nights, usually from frat boys drunk at parties trying to hook up with some girl or another. After they pissed me off a few times (getting belligerent with me for no apparent reason) I started having fun with them:
“Uh, hey… like, is Stacy there?”
“Uh, who is this?”
“Uh, it’s Ryan”
“Just a minute…”
and then either
“Well, Ryan, she says she’s still really pissed at you and doesn’t want to talk to you”
or
“Oh, she can’t talk right now, she’s in the shower with Steve.”
or if my boyfriend answered, he’d go, “Who the hell are you?! …(Stacy, who the fuck is Ryan?!),” and hang up.
Fun fun.

12

Just let them talk. When they’re done, ask them what they’re wearing.

Do this repeatedly, no matter what they say.

If they don’t hang up, start describing what you’re wearing.

Begin with the fishing cap. Describe your favorite lure.

Slowly, deliberately proceed from there.

Insanity destroys logic, but not wit. Nathaniel Emmons

If we are out of our mind, it is for the Lord; if we are in our right mind, it is for you. 2Cor.5:13

13

Once the Holiday Inn in Crystal City, VA published their phone number in a brochure to be XXX-4000 instead of 4200. Then they distributed these all over the Far East, apparently.

The company I worked for was XXX-4000. When I worked in the evening, I got calls all night from would-be tourist wanting to make reservations. I tried to tell them they had the wrong number, but the language barrier got in the way.

Another one of my 3rd watch co-workers would go ahead and take their reservation if they didn’t get the clue that they had the wrong number. He even took down their credit card numbers, but I don’t think he did anything with them.

I looked in the mirror today/My eyes just didn’t seem so bright
I’ve lost a few more hairs/I think I’m going bald - Rush

14

::splort::

How’d that happen?? I SWEAR I posted that to a different thread…

I’m gonna go do something safe…like roll nekkid in a snowdrift.

“…being normal is not necessarily a virtue. It rather denotes a lack of courage.”

15

Culled from various humor sites:

Tell them you filed for bankruptcy.

Ask them to marry you.

Sing. My favorite is Pee Wee Herman singing “Connect the dots, la la la la, connect the dots, la la la la.”

Set the phone down on your stereo and blast Marilyn Manson.

Put them on hold.

You’re frustrated, right? Time for primal scream therapy. . .

If you have a kid handy, give them the phone and have them sing the Sesame Street song.

Ask them if they accept credit cards. If they do, start reciting random numbers.

Use a german mad-scientist accent and tell them to “vait for my latest inwention.”

“Let me ask my parole officer.”

Hang up while you’re talking. Really catches them off guard. :slight_smile:

If they ask for the head of the household, refer them to the Pope because “God doesn’t have a telephone number.”

“Ya, wa kim chee? No watta kim chee.”

“Hgn! Hgn! Cthulhu f’thagn! YOG-SOTHOTH!”

“Could you do me a favor?”
(yes?)
“Does this sound like a telephone hanging up?” click

Play with the buttons on the phone.

Hook a FAX machine to the line for 24 hours.

TM: Hello, is Mr. Messersmith home this evening?
Me: This is Mr. Messersmith.
TM: Hello, this is Credit Card company X sir, how are you this evening?
Me: Well, I’m having an existential crisis at the moment.
TM (after a rather long pause): Oh, is that bad?
Me: I think I’m getting over it. My wife just reassured me that I do, indeed, exist, so I think I’ll be alright as long as I don’t see anymore cockroaches.

– Sylence

I don’t have an evil side. Just a really, really apathetic one.

16

This isn’t really the same thing, but one time I answered the phone. It was a woman who had dialed the wrong number, and obviously had some lines rehearsed. The following dialogue ensued:

Me: Hello?

Caller: (very quickly) I just want you to know that I think it’s a terrible thing you did, Bob, and I think you should apologise right now-

Me: Uh…

Caller: Bob, I have given you too many second chances, and I can’t ignore this stuff anymore…

Me: Ahem…

Caller: Are you listening, Bob?

Me: Uh, you have a wrong number.

Caller: Huh?

Me: You have a wrong number. There is no Bob here.

Caller: …(long pause)… (something that sounded like “Where are you, Bob?”)

Click.

I kept picturing this poor woman standing by the phone, rehearsing her lines, and working up the courage to call, then finally taking a deep breath and picking up the phone only to blow it completely. I wonder if she ever called Bob after that. I probably would have crawled under the couch at that point.

An infinite number of rednecks in an infinite number of pickup trucks shooting an infinite number of shotguns at an infinite number of road signs will eventually produce all the world’s great works of literature in Braille.

17

Oooh, I had a great wrong number the other day. Apparently my phone number is quite close to a mortgage brokers fax number, hence lots of wrong-number faxes. Just last week I received a 19 page fax detailing this womans financial details. Paystubs, 1040, W2, 401(k), bank statements, everything. I called her back and told her she sent all that stuff to the wrong number, and I had deleted it all. I did actually delete the stuff because I’m honest, and all that.

18

My cell phone number was advertised in some redneck gun magazine. I get about 6 phone calls or messages a day with some backwoods guy saying, “yee-ah, kin ah git a pah-rut for mah gun?”

I usually say, “Eiw, guns? Are you joking? You’re calling an NRA hating New York bitch. Do you have any idea how much I abhor the idea of a gun?, etc etc”

The funny thing is that they are quite polite to me and apologetic.

But I can’t really complain because I have the luxury of turning my phone off.

Formerly unknown as “Melanie”

19

I used to have a deadbeat’s phone number, and they were still passing out bad checks with that phone number on them when I had it. One day I got a call from a Mercedez Benz dealer. When I told him he had the wrong number, he said, like they always did, this isn’t “blah blah” and read the name and address off the check. I said “nope!” and he kinda sounded strange, so I asked him what happened. He had taken a check from these people for $32,000 and it was no good. This was years ago, before they had that Chex system stuff, but still, you’d think somebody would have called the bank. I also once got a number that used to be a fax number. That was a drag. I finally moved, and that solved that problem.

Meow!

20

I have the Woods’ old phone number. I am so sick of gettin’ phone calls for the goddamn Woods!

But you know what always confounds me? How many people seem to think that the phone number goes with the address.

ME: “This isn’t the Woods’ phone number. Hasn’t been for nearly two years.”

CALLER: “Well, when they moved, did they leave my lawnmower in the backyard?”

Morons!

Leslie Irish Evans
http://leslie.scrappy.net