Here’s the scenario. Tomorrow, an alien saucer lands outside the United Nations building in New York City. A hulking becaped reptilian alien exits the craft and says in gruff English that the way our geopolitics is structured guarantees a future q-bomb detonation that will someday destroy all life on Earth. Their top scientists and simulations have come up with a solution that avoids this; cut down the number of nations.
Every nation on this list must join with one other to become one new nation; they have observed this in the Federal Republic of Germany and German Democratic Republic becoming modern Germany. Since there are an odd number of nations they will allow precisely 1 to remain unmerged. Three or more becoming one will not work, according to their calculations it must be two joining to become one country. The names of the new countries they’ll leave that to us.
If we split a current country and then just rejoin it or try and trick them by just saying we’ve done it but going about our business as always it won’t count. If in one solar year we have not accomplished this they will raise the temperature of the planet by one million degrees a day. For five days. He repeats his message in equally gruff Arabic, Chinese, French, Russian and Spanish then flies off.
Which countries make obvious bedfellows? Which countries would demand to be the one exception. Could we do it, or would certain nations doom us?
Obvious candidates are the U.S. and Canada as the ‘United North American States’ or some such; the federal state model lends itself well to expansion. Australia and New Zealand also share common heritage and language. Korean unification would get a shot in the arm although South Korea gets a real bum deal if it goes ahead. The Russian Federation could admit one of the old USSR provinces if they’re down with it.
In case you think I’ve gone nuts I was inspired by various fascinating ideas to make the UK and France effectively one country, most recently during the Suez Crisis and also WWII;
You didn’t specify that geographical proximity is a requirement to this, so as a Canadian, I’d like to ask that we join with the UK instead. I think our culture and heritage is more in line that way then with the US.
Nope, nations across the world from each other could join and it would satisfy their requirements as long as the humans could make it work. We live in a globalised interconnected age so it’s not impossible as far as modern national logistics and what have you go.
As a Canadian who’s been to both countries, I disagree. The British are weird and far away. We’re also the best match for the United States, which by the rules set down by the aliens must join with someone and we’re supposed to be working together here so the aliens don’t blow us up, or we blow ourselves up, or whatever.
Mexico can join too if they want but they may also wish to join a Central American Union.
A lot of these pairings could be based on historical unions. So:
UK + Ireland
Spain + Portugal
Germany + France
Austria + Hungary
Czech Republic + Slovakia
Egypt + Syria
Israel + Palestine
Ethiopia + Eritrea
Sudan + South Sudan
South Africa + Namibia
Pakistan + Bangladesh
Indonesia + East Timor
Colombia + Panama
Does the country have to be an independent nation? I hear that Argentina really wants the Falkland Islands for some odd reason.
To avoid disputes about what is and isn’t a country (disputed territories and such) they’re only counting current UN member states, which the Falkland Islands aren’t.
Israel would never agree to join with Palestine because eventually Jews would be.a minority in the combined country. I only see Israel agreeing to join with one country and that’s the US. So US and Israel join is my suggestion.
Still I think we are doomed because of that one country gets stay unique exemption, countries would be squabbling which one gets to not join another right up until the last day.
Oh, and Taiwan isn’t a member state of the UN, so according to the OP they don’t have to join with anyone I guess. Same with Vatican city, not a member state.
I’m not seeing UK + Ireland as a particularly happy union, for some reason. But I am struggling to find a partner for the UK. I’d go with Malta for now. We have historical connections and they don’t seem to object to us too much.
Ireland and Iceland could work. We could call the new country Irceland.
Even with the bad blood, South Korea and Japan could work. They could become a giant mecha cultural pop force. China might not like it, but they’re probably the only country that could merge with North Korea’s current leadership. Unfortunately, Mongolia is left alone. Maybe with one of the 'Stans?
Most of those pairs of countries hate one another more than they hate any other countries, and, in several cases, have only quite recently emerged from long, bitter struggles to separate from one another, that at least one of the pair is definitely not going to agree to reverse.
More often than not, adjoining countries (especially, but not only, in Europe) have a particular hatred for one another because there is along history of warfare between them. In most cases there would be a better chance of getting nations to agree to unite with ones far away from them, than with nearby ones.
On the whole, though, I think the task is hopeless. We would be best advised to just hunker down and wait for the q-bomb to hit.
Israel: US is the only option, but would the US take them?
North Korea: China doesn’t want them and forcing unification with the south is going to be messy.
Japan: No surrounding asian country would agree to merge with Japan, they still have too much bad blood over occupation. Korea / Japan hate is still high.
I’m sure there are probably similar examples in Africa and South America but I know less about the geopolitics involved. In short we’re doomed.
Actually, Nauru could make out like a bandit with a deal like this—auction off the rights to “merge” with a larger nation that didn’t want to change it’s nature or sovereignty that much. “People’s Republic of China and Nauru,” “The Islamic Republic of Iran and Nauru,” “Japan and Nauru,” etc.
