We need an AssHatRack

It seems to me that, with the recent spate of AssHats, we need a proper place to store them. I thought hats were still out of style, but apparently they’re making a comeback. I’m not really sure what an AssHat is, but I’m kind of picturing a sweaty, battered, floppy-brimmed, grimy hat. Probably something best disposed of, but if we’re going to keep them around, we need a place to put them, so they’re out of the way. The best place to store a hat is in a hatbox, of course, but we have too many for that. We’d constantly be tripping over boxes.

So, I propose we build an AssHatRack. I’ll even volunteer to build it. But, I need some guidance on what it should look like. I’m picturing something like an oversized, freestanding coatrack, but I’m open to suggestions.

I figure, when someone starts acting like an AssHat, we can just hang him up on the rack, until (s)he dries up. Maybe the Mods can even change their status to On The Rack, temporarily, the way I’ve seen them change it to AssHat. A little less imflamatory, and it has the added benefit of being likely to confuse the AssHat in question.

I’m putting this here, due to the topic. If it weren’t for the AssHat references, this would probably be an MPSIMS thread.

I don’t know. I think we should put them in little cubbies, or on some sort of shelving system. Then we could stack them neatly out of everyone’s way, providing a larger asshat-free area for everyone else. We’d need one of those rolling ladder thingies to get them down again, but I’m sure we could scrounge one up.

How’s this for an AssHatRack™?

I always thought it was someone who was wearing their own ass as a hat.

For some reason this makes me picture James Bond tossing an anus ring onto the hat rack in front of Moneypenny.

Sorry Q.E.D., butt that’s an AssWipeRack…

That’s pretty wild, Q.E.D. Do they really expect three people to sit around that contraption in a circle taking simu-dumps?

Well, lieu, assuming the seats all face inward, it certainly makes conversation a lot easier.

Last thing I want to do is look someone in the redeye while I’m talking to him.

Well, I dunno about that, but if it were a smiley, it would get my vote!

Well, I agree cubbies would be neater. But, it hardly has the same cachet to threaten someone with being put in a cubby. “Give him a stretch on the rack!” has a much better ring.

Yes, “Stuff 'em in the cubby” sounds rather wimpy, if you ask me.

And rather painful for Cubby!

We could rename the pit

Probably need to hang the builder of an “ass hat rack” up first.

Exactly! :slight_smile: And, think of the potential with having a rack! Moderators could issue warnings by telling the offenders they’re “about to go Medieval on you (or, ‘on your ass’, depending on which forum it’s in)”.

:eek: Lube! Always lube, first! :smiley:

No need. A Pit is the normal place to find a rack, isn’t it? :wink:

oh? :dubious: Someone sounds a little touchy on the subject.

A wee historical note:

The asshat was invented as part of the Apollo program. The “zero-g toilet” was a top-hat shaped plastic bag with an adhesive brim that the astronaut stuck to his buttocks when defecating.

Just doing my part to fight ignorance… :wink: