Weak rant: Twins, come on in and bitch. . .

About various things (Yes, there’s a whole variety of things we could bitch about concerning being a twin, but this is the rant du jour-- feel free to add your own):

A) about the apparently so-very scary implications of (gasp) CLONING.
I am very very tired of people implying that the development of cloning is a horrifying problem because of the simple existence of multiple individuals starting out with (oh my GOD!) the EXACT SAME DNA! Do you know what that could MEAN?!
Well, why, yes, I do. Not a lot. So stop it.
Someone at my college graduation, for example, brought up scary scary cloning as a moral conundrum with that as the entire justification of her fear-- that there would be multiple people made with the same DNA. Damn it, it’s just another person. Give them citizenship and rights and all that, make sure we don’t make twins for spare organs, and we’re fine. What’s the big deal?
“If you made a clone of a person, like, would they, like, feel the same pain? Would they be psychically linked? Would they lead the same life?”
OMFG TEH CL0NZZZZ!!! Shut up, people. Some of us have been doing this for years, now. She’s a separate meatbag with her own brain and possibly even soul.

B) Creepy twinness plotlines.
This goes for you, too, CSI scriptwriters!
Been playing a video game with SPOOKY TWINS! Rented a DVD and the plot centered around SPOOKY TWINS. I think I know (to a very minor degree) how little people feel about their use and abuse in popular culture. “Need something crazy-looking? Add a dwarf!” Or twins, apparently. Ooh, dwarf twins. Make them psychic-- David Lynch trifecta.
b2) Adorable twinness plotlines, especially in advertizing. BITE ME!

C) You adult identical twins that still live near each other and dress alike and get off on being freaks. BITE ME! You’re not making it any easier for normal twins.

While we are at it, everyone, I’d like you to know, before you ask,

  1. No, I don’t feel her pain
  2. no, I can’t read her mind
  3. No, we’ve never taken a test for the other,
  4. or switched boyfreinds, or
    4b) shared boyfreinds
  5. attended each others’ classes/job/doctor’s appointment/war crimes trial
  6. Sigh-- yes, she’s the “smart twin.” Double your pleasure, double your fucko off.

Stop asking me if my twin brother and I are identical*!
Of course not!
You are now too stupid to talk to.

*I’m female. Very female.

There’s nothing that wrong with the Twins. They just need some experience in the infield and a power hitter. They’ll be back next season, just you wait.

But it’s true you guys develop your own secret language, right?

Other than playing God and slowly destroying every major religion’s beliefs and everyone getting pissed by that and chaos and mayhem because people are violent like that… yeah, no prob.

Hah! This stupidness is not confined to the non-twinned. Some years ago, a gentleman I worked with revealed that he had a twin sister. “Really?” asks another cow-orker. “Are you identical twins?” I laughed–I was sure he was joking.

And the twin says, “what’s so funny? As a matter of fact, we are identical twins. We look exactly alike!”

No, he wasn’t joking either. And he wouldn’t accept “my version” of identical twins, when I told him, because he knew better. He was a twin, after all.

So how about that twincest meme? :smiley:

snerk Beautiful. Just beautiful. You are SO RIGHT.

I like that.
My $0.02:
If there are no evil twins, where did they find some for The Matrix: Reloaded?? :dubious:


I ditto piffle. “Playing God” is a slippery slope ever since we started used leeches and chewed-up bark to preserve people who should otherwise make tracks to the Four Last Things tout suite.
On the God point, identical twin question number 37: If life begins at conception, and souls are handed out right after the sex act (penile-vaginal contact being sacred and all-- clones and test-tube infants please do not apply), but an egg can split several days after conception, does one of these twins miss out on the big soul distribution business? Or do we split the thing?
Twins hail Ogun and the FSM-- we know what Gods are looking out for us.

I don’t think there’s a single religion that has a clear stance against cloning in whatever their holy book is, but even if they did: why should anyone care what anyone else’s religious beliefs are? If you belong to a religion, you may feel obligated to follow your own religious rules and regulations. If you think I, as a non-member of your religion, am so obligated then you are (a) an insane asshole control-freak, and (b) bound to be very, very disappointed.

Well, as everyone knows, one twin is always the evil one. So where did they find two? Here’s the secret; they’re really quadruplets!

And now for revealing the mystery behind the Matrix, i’m going to be killed in some strange, biblical way. Lovely.

I don’t care what anyone does to themselves, but it may disturb me to no end. I don’t think there’s anything in the ancient documents written againstt cloning (I wonder why that is), but most religions tout their practitioners to be very special and uniquely designed by God and nature’s doing and whatever. With major advances in Genetics, such as the possibility to reproduce humans at a Jango Fett rate, there’s gonna be a lot of 'splaining to do: keep in mind that your reasoned explanation will not suit everyone, this is mostly true in a world where most thinking mammals can’t get it through their brains that we “come from monkeys”.

Is there a moral conundrum? Yes, simply because everyone’s morals differ. Though, on this respect, most people do find cloning icky and against their morals.

That’s why one is always evil.

Stop labeling us. Especially since I always get the “bad” label (choose your pick…from “ugly one”, “short one”, “stupid one”, “goofy one”, “crazy one”…no, I’m not bitter).

We are two INDIVIDUAL people, not two halves of a conjunction. It’s not so much a problem now that I’m grown, but as a kid it was always strange to hear someone address me separately from my sister or talk about something I had done. Throughout my childhood, I was just one head on a two-headed girl.

I know you wish you had a twin. I know you think it’s the cutest/greatest thing in the world. But believe me, being a twin is not always fun. In fact, especially in the teenage years, it can be a real pain sometimes with no one knowing who you are. It’s not cute being known only as “Twin” because people don’t want to bother getting your name right. It’s no fun having teachers pit you against your twin (oh-uh, monstro got the higher grade again!). It’s no fun wanting to develop your own style and personality and social life but being afraid to because you don’t want to alienate your sibling.

Do NOT name your twins names that rhyme. My parents did that shit to us and I still want to slap them silly. There are a couple of reasons why this is stupid. First, it’s cute only for a minute–then it becomes a damn joke. Second, it makes putting the right name with the right twin even more difficult. People will confuse fraternal twins who don’t even look like siblings who are named “Tracy and Stacy” or “Justin and Dustin.”

To myself: you don’t have to talk about your twin all the time! When recounting a childhood story, it’s okay if you only talk about yourself. You don’t always have to say “my twin sister and me”. Leaving her out of some of the stories doesn’t mean you don’t love her or that you’re being untruthful. You really did sit on Danny Glover’s lap at the rodeo. You just don’t have to tell everybody you shared the lap with your sister.

Finally (and this goes to little kids who don’t know better, but it still drives me nuts): my sister and I are twins. This means we were born on the same day. Thus, we have the same birthday. That means when you ask me when my birthday is and I tell you, you DON’T have to ask my sister too. In fact, it would be stupid if you were to do this. So please stop.

Matt_mcl-- excellent point. That might be the key to this whole thing.
Looks like Monstro was the one that split off fromthe egg, eh?

Oh, know what else sucks? Sharing your birthday and having to include someone else’s friends in YOUR PARTY. Also, presents that are the same but in different colors. One color always sucks, too, and you have to silently negotiate who gets the sucky color this year.

Matt_mcl-- excellent point. That might be the key to this whole thing.
Looks like Monstro was the one that split off fromthe egg, eh?

My sister and I agree that I was her afterbirth come to life.
And yeah, if my sister and I were in a movie, I would be the evil one. Growing up, she always played Mary in the Christmas play. Meanwhile, I always played one of the myriad of angels that didn’t have parts to memorize. Everyone knows the Devil was an angel back in the day and Mary is practically worshipped by hundreds of millions of people. The dichotomy was set up for us from Day 1.

For us, it was who got to blow out the candles, because we would only get one cake of course. We would try to do it together but inevitably a certain SOMEBODY would start blowing before the other was ready.

No, I ain’t bitter. :slight_smile:

There used to be a pair of twin brothers at my workplace (one of the Jersey pharmaceuticals) who apparently worked their entire careers there.

They were both biologists.
They both worked in the same department.
They styled their hair identically (though older men don’t often have wild styles anyway).
They would go to lunch wearing their hospital greens and labcoats, looking all the more identical.
They sat down side by side, not face to face, and then took out identical brown paper bags and then proceeded to eat their identical lunches.

I had to interact with them from time to time, so I either had to steal a glance at their badge, or just go to one lab and trust that they didn’t switch labs for kicks and grins.

They had a joint retirement a few years back, complete with a joint ceremony.

Do they fit the criteria for your annoying adult twins?

Again, why should I care what anyone else thinks is “icky”? So they’re against cloning because it means they aren’t the miracle they though they were. This doesn’t present ME with any moral dillema at all.