Well, see, I’m totally with you on the “walking into a shithole - shoes on” thing.
As far as the rest, I’m not sure what to say, to tell you the truth.
You’re not worried about being considered impolite by a guest in your house? Your home, your castle, your way or the highway?
Am I the only one who remembers hospitality and etiquette?
Around here, it’s about 50/50. I know just as many people who customarily take off their shoes in the house as I do that don’t. I just glance at the door and if there is a big pile of shoes near it, I know to take mine off. I don’t even really think about it- it’s work for me to sit here and recall the shoe habits of my various aquanitances.
As I was growing up, asking your guests to take their shoes off was considered pretty snobby- akin to keeping plastic on your couches or something- and was mainly done by people who want to emphasize how nice their house is. Now it seems a lot more mainstream. If I am visiting people who I don’t know well, I prefer to keep my shoes on because their floors might be gross or dangerous and my feet and socks might not be presentable. So I guess taking off your shoes does imply some intamacy to me.
I personally wear my shoes around the house if I am doing housework, running in and out or otherwise active. It keeps my feet from getting too close to the sometimes icky kitchen and bathroom floors, and it keeps my feet warm, protected, and ready to go outside. If I am idle, my shoes are usually off because my feet spend a lot of time on beds and couches and stuff. Guests go either way. Short visitors don’t usually bother taking off their shoes- and I’d never ask them to if they didn’t do it volentarily-, but if we’re getting comfortable (or if there are a lot of people and we start using beds as seating space) the shoes usually come off.
That makes me sound so old. 
I’m only thirtysomething, but am I the only one who knows that when you have a guest to your home you are supposed to treat them like a guest?
Huh? socks? Does noone else go barefeet around the house? I dont know how you can encase your feet in shoes or socks when you have the option of glorious barefootedness.
“Mi casa e su casa”-ism varies on region, culture, and how you were raised. I was brought up to believe that a guest has responsibilities to the host and that I must respect her house and property because they are not mine.
Future regional practice threads:
Do you bathe in the morning or evening?
Do you give money to the bereaved at funerals?
I’m glad you brought that up, because a while ago I started a post similar to what you’ve just said. I was gonna call myself out, really… but then I thought, even though (1) there may be regional differences, I would still have to go along with whichever host/ess thought that his/her guests’ comfort was more important than his/her own; and (2) even though, as a guest, one should be and is, hopefully, able to conduct oneself “appropriately”, politely, and responsibly, as far as I know, the onus is always on the host/ess to make the guest feel comfortable, faux pas notwithstanding.
Of course, I was brought up to respect others’ home’s as well. I think I know how to comport myself as a guest appropriately. What I’m saying is that, in the cultures that I am familiar with, the host/ess is expected to make guests feel comfortable, WHETHER OR NOT they are familiar with the local customs/any customs/human behavior in general. If there is a culture where the host/ess has no such responsibility, and the onus of making the entire situation of being a visitor in somebody else’s home comfortable falls upon the guest, then please enlighten me. I do want to know.
Given that, I do believe that the situation I’ve suggested is the appropriate norm for the continental U.S. If you are not putting your guests’ comfort before your own, to a reasonable extent (e.g., allowing them to enter your house wearing shoes even though you might not normally do so), then you are not being a good host/ess.
I’m British living in America. I go without shoes in my own home, and without socks when wearing shorts (approx April to October down here). I do this because it is more comfortable and to keep the carpet clean.
When visiting, I would keep my shoes on unless invited to remove them - there is a certain formality about visiting someone, no matter how close a friend they are. Most Americans I visit seem to wear shoes in the house. Given that, I don’t know how they manage to keep the de facto standard very light-colored carpets clean.
I have to say the example of “imagine if somone had leporasy” as an argument against shoelessness is a bit dramatic, it is much more likely that somone will have dogshit on their shoe than leporasy on their bare feet.
The “walking around shirtless” comparison doesn’t (imho, even if this is GQ) hold water either. Since more or less everyone was talking about stocking-feet when visiting the example is more like taking off a jacket or jumper and sitting in shirt-sleeves.
Guests entering my house will be asked to remove their shoes ('cept I don’t have to ask them, it’s standard practise). When entering somone elses house I will take off my shoes (unless told not to bother). If just “dashing” into somones home having done up laces etc (forgot my jacket, whatever) I will ask “can I run in with my shoes on?”, guests doing the same with me are allowed to do the same. It may sound complicated, but it’s how it is done here. People giggle a bit when I do it when I go back to Ireland, sometimes I get the impression I am being “deliberatly” strange, or foreign or something, but it really is eecond nature, shoes off in the hall. If I think about it however when I am in homes that keep their shoes on indoors I try to do the same myself, I sure don’t want to walk in my socks on their carpets.
Wouldn’t it be easier (and less rude) to just not invite the offenders back again?
This is simply the most unusual thread I’ve ever read here. I live in San Antonio, and I have never, ever been to a home where people walked in socks, nor do I request it of my guests - and, yes, my “Barbar” 
carpet is quite expensive and nice, thank you. It’s even stranger to see someone from Houston, which is right down the “road” being a sock monger. Odd.
As has been suggested, I suppose it has more to do with the predominant weather than anything else. Here, count on sun with a chance of sun (yet I type as a storm rages). I would expect guests who just trundled though six inches of mud to remove their boots, but if they’re just wet, wipe them off on the doormat.
Really strange to me how opinionated people are on the subject when I’ve never even witnessed the practice!
In the UK, people usually wear shoes in the house, but often change into slippers for comfort in their own home. Most, however, would consider it unreasonable - a sign of obsessive tidiness and even a touch of control-freakery - for a host to demand guests remove their shoes on entering another (British) house.
Well, I wasn’t saying it was an exact equivalent, just another example of something that is OK to do in your own home but (according to the social mores I was raised with) unacceptable when visiting others. The point that I’m trying to get across is that people here would be very taken aback if a guest walked in the door and removed his or her shoes, although common politeness would probably cause them to refrain from saying anything.
Once I put my shoes on they pretty much stay on. On the weekends I’m forever going in and out of the house and I’m sure not going to put my shoes on and off.
Couldn’t agree more.
Yet again, the SDMB is having an impact on how I handle my real life.
Here in Australia, I kick off my shoes as soon as I get home, but would never expect to do so in someone else’s house. Too informal, a bit like undoing the belt so as to let the stomach hang out more freely (I speak metaphorically, I hasten to assure you all).
I do have a friend who repeatedly asked me to take my shoes off in her home, and it made me really cheesed off. I did, of course, but I always felt pressured. I think with her it was from spiritual motives - something about being in contact with the earth and more open to spritual vibrations or some such rubbish.
I don’t really think the hygiene explanation is a terribly valid one - nobody seems to wash their hands after handling money, which is probably crawling with bacteria, and we know that we develope antibodies to the prevalent bacteria in our culture.
However, what people have said in this thread has impressed me to the point that in future I intend to say to guests to the house, “would you like to take your shoes off?”, and when I go to other homes, ask the host, “would you like me to take my shoes off?”.
That’s certainly easy to do, and if they ask why I’ll tell them about this thread and this message board. (Except I hate always having to say “It’s not about drugs or anything”)
Thanks fellow Dopers, once again my life is enriched.
Redboss
I, too, am surprised at the passion expressed by Dopers on this subject. I was raised, and still reside, in the American Midwest. Our family is predominately “shoe people.” When I went to friends homes as a child where shoes were removed, it came across as, “Look at how nice (expensive) my house is.” Hence, pretentious.
In my little corner of the universe, I have no preference if guests in my home remove their shoes. It’s just not required. My house is not a “pigsty” nor is it pristeen. When guests come into my home, I want them to feel welcome and not chastised if they do or do not wear their shoes.
Any podiatrist will gladly inform you of the hazards of not wearing shoes. IIRC, not only are there external hazards such as pins or dog throw-up (blech!), there are also pressures placed on your foot bones that may cause difficulties as you age.
Lastly, my husband is a diabetic. An injury to his foot from stepping on a sharp object could result in an infection requiring amputation. Would you insist he remove his shoes as well?
Agreed on making the guests feel comfortable, but from watching documentaries, from stories I hear, and from my own experiences, I get the impression that hosts usually reference their own culture to define good hospitality.
Don’t know of one, but this is not pertinent to the argument. What’s being debated is the extent to which the host must accommodate the guest and what demands the host can make of the guest. This is what’s harder to pin down.
If you’re talking about wearing shoes in the house, you’re most likely right. Unfortunately, Googling didn’t turn up any statistics for me. Given the posts in this thread, it sounds like more homes are shoeless than assumed, though.
I doubt anybody will argue that someone who forces visitors to take off their shoes or do anything unpleasant is a good host. That, however, is worlds apart from politely asking guests to remove their shoes while they’re in my house. If a guest of mine were to flat out refuse, I probably wouldn’t do anything unless they had just come from the stables. But at the same time, IMO, that makes the person a less than desirable guest.
On preview:
Fretful Porpentine, I don’t think people who remove their shoes at home would insist on doing the same at shoe-wearing homes. “When in Rome” kicks in, and also we’re worried that the floors in those homes are gross.
I’d like to add that I have no problem with shoes or slippers used exclusively inside the house. Once they touch dirt or pavement, they become unclean. UNCLEEEEEEEN!
Well, a little drama never killed anyone, did it?
I was trying to get through this without doing any actual research, and leprosy just sort of popped into my head and stayed there… well, you know what I mean. In any case, for more on leprosy (“Worldwide, 1-2 million persons are permanently disabled as a result of Hansen’s disease.”) go here : http://www.cdc.gov/ncidod/dbmd/diseaseinfo/hansens_t.htm
Jeez, MineFujiko, if you would just shut up, I could prove that I am more polite than you… 
(just kidding, in case anybody can’t tell)
Agreed on making the guests feel comfortable, but from watching documentaries, from stories I hear, and from my own experiences, I get the impression that hosts usually reference their own culture to define good hospitality.
I think we’re in agreement on this.
Don’t know of one, but this is not pertinent to the argument. What’s being debated is the extent to which the host must accommodate the guest and what demands the host can make of the guest. This is what’s harder to pin down.
I guess we’re not in agreement on this, but I’m not entirely sure anymore…
First you say that my point is not pertinent to the argument, which is valid, if we’re sticking to shoes (ha ha), but then you yourself veer off from just shoes. But if we do stick to shoes, I don’t think it’s that hard to pin down. I offer this: sticking to shoes, and given that we agree that the host/ess is responsible for making a guest feel comfortable, I say that the host/ess lets the guest take the lead. Guest arrives. Guest takes off shoes - okay. So does host/ess, like it or not. (If host/ess simply cannot, host/ess offers explanation and drops matter.) Guest doesn’t take off shoes - okay. Host/ess takes (or pretends to take) no notice. Host/ess should probably put on shoes if not wearing any (discreetly).
Given that, I do believe that the situation I’ve suggested is the appropriate norm for the continental U.S.
If you’re talking about wearing shoes in the house, you’re most likely right. Unfortunately, Googling didn’t turn up any statistics for me. Given the posts in this thread, it sounds like more homes are shoeless than assumed, though.
Actually, I was talking about the rules of etiquette in general. I believe that in the continental U.S. it is the norm for the host/ess to defer to the guest. Given the differences in cultures and footsies around the world, I wouldn’t presume more than that at this point.
I doubt anybody will argue that someone who forces visitors to take off their shoes or do anything unpleasant is a good host. That, however, is worlds apart from politely asking guests to remove their shoes while they’re in my house. If a guest of mine were to flat out refuse, I probably wouldn’t do anything unless they had just come from the stables. But at the same time, IMO, that makes the person a less than desirable guest.
Well, now I have to disagree. Again, where I live, and I would think for the continental U.S., I think it would be impolite for the host/ess to ask a visitor to remove their shoes. The whole purpose of etiquette is to make other people feel comfortable. I just can’t help thinking that if somebody has not already removed their shoes, and you asked them to, then there’s a huge probability that you would be making them feel UNcomfortable. That’s much worse than any “damage” that could be done to your carpet or floors or whatever.
And, I’m glad to hear that you probably wouldn’t do anything (like what, call the cops? grab them by the throat and throw them out?) if they flat out refused to remove their shoes… UNLESS they had just come from the stables… then what… wet noodle whippings all around? I’m just joking around with you, but I hope you see my point here; it does seem a little strange to me.
I do understand that we are looking at this from different cultural viewpoints, so I am going to give your post some more thought. Thanks for your input.