Weaseled Brains

I’d like to start compiling a list of things that have made people’s brains hurt. Post here things that were so wrong or so stupid as to have a physical effect on you.

Here’s my two most memorable so far;

[list type=1]
[li]Watching American Beauty when the mother says, “That was wonderful, honey! You didn’t screw up once!”[/li][li]Listening to an sixth-grade choir trying to hit the high note at the end of “Danny Boy.”[/li][/list]


Squeaks from BrainWeasel’s Cage

Listening to my friend classify *EVERY SINGLE TYPE OF MUSIC AND CLOTHING!!! *
Walking in a room to hear “Mambo #5” blasted at 200 some decibles.
Hearing people say “You know, I bet HE’S the one who will kill us all…”
Having been told to envision my parents engaging in sexual intercourse. YUCK

Slurpees and margaritas

We live in an age that reads to much to be wise, and thinks too much to be beautiful–Oscar Wilde

Basically anything my roommate says. he quit smoking cigars because he decided he was becoming “addicted” to them. This week he started smoking cigarettes.


Thinking about how they make hot dogs always gives me the shudders.

Listening to someone trying to explain to me why Jesus is my lord, and why common sense is B.S. always makes my head hurt.

Watching televangelists always makes my head hurt too. Especially the local cable access channel church shows, they really make me scream.

“I may be crazy, but at least I’m not as crazy as you.”-- Calvin and Hobbes
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  • Bad drivers in my way.

  • Watching The Jerry Springer Show. I always have to turn it off soon afterwards, and always, if I listen closely, I can hear Nero rosining up his bow.

  • Kids yelling “Suck it!” on national TV and other stupidity that is Wrestling.

  • Enduring every Giants game.

Yer pal,

My favourite is how on television sitcoms problems always get resolved in 20 minutes.

La franchise ne consiste pas à dire tout ce que l’on pense, mais à penser tout ce que l’on dit.
H. de Livry

I work tech support… I have many of these. Big ones are-

Dealing with Macintosh customers.
People who don’t acknowledge something I’ve said
People who refuse to follow orders
People who do what I say and then click on a bunch of other stuff
People who call up and say they’re losing thousands of dollars a day because their machine is broken, but won’t entertain the notion of paying $500 for a backup
People who expect me to be able to fix ANY computer, regardless of whether I am being paid to support it

I’ve got a list on my website of some dumb things people have said while on the phone with me… http://www.madpoet.com/idiots.htm

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

People who are SOOO important they can ignore you when you speak directly to them. They do NOT have MY respect. Happens about twice a day. “Hi there, sir, what can I help you with” ::silence:: Well, fuck you too, sir.