Weather euphemisms.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Some of you may find this hard to believe, but I’m a pretty boring guy. Dry as dust, in fact. People have actually fallen asleep listening to me talk. In the middle of Aerosmith concerts.

I need to add some color to my language, if only to prevent head injuries to innocent victims who pass out and fall into solid objects when I speak to them. So, I’m turning to my fellow Dopers for help.

I figure we need to start slow, because I realize that I can’t become interesting overnight.

What are some of the colorful phrases people use to describe the weather in your neck of the woods?

Around here I get:

“Colder than a well-digger’s ankle,” and the similar but not for mixed company “colder than a witch’s <three letter palindrome meaning ‘mammary gland’>.”

On a hot summer day I also heard “I feel like the sun’s anvil.”

See, I told you I was dull.

Can I get a little help, here?

2

“Hot enough to breed sheep!”
I never quite knew what that meant, but I kind of like it.

3

How about: “Hot as a half-fucked fox in a forest fire”?

4

There are several good ones in the colloquialisms thread. :cool:

5

Great.

Not only am I boring, I’m also redundant.

6

Silly !!! Not redundant in a bad way, redundant in a good way !! Like those bridges we studied in Structures I !!

I only meant to show you that thread 'cause it has some really neat sayings in it. Please carry on here.

:cool:

7

I like “not a fit night,” or “fit for neither man nor beast.” Not very racy, but they have a nice, sonorous, Shakespearian/King-Jamesey roll to them.

8

Alright, no real addition, but this thread made me think of that old story of the history and usage of the word “fuck”, with many example quotes from throughout history.

One of them read:

Well, it cracked me up, anyway. :slight_smile:

9

Colder’n a witch’s tit in a brass brassiere.
Colder than a stepmother’s breast.

10

Raining cats and dogs, tipping down, pissing down, spitting

Lazy wind [it goes through you rather than make it’s way 'round you]

Soft day [I think that means fog, but not sure]

Cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey, cold as a whore’s heart

Sun’s splitting the trees/pavement

11

You’d think Canadian language would be full of such euphemisms, but all I ever hear are variations on “damn its cold” or “damn its hot” :slight_smile:

12

In Texas we frequently refer to a heavy rain as a frog strangler.

13

I remember seeing an old tape of David Letterman waaaay back when he was a TV weatherman. In it he referred to hailstones “the size of canned hams!”

14

So cold that dogs are freezin to the hydrants.

Rainin like a tall cow pissin on a flat rock.

15

Said of a cold windy day:

There ain’t nuttin between here ‘n’ the north pole but a couple of mesquite trees and a barbed wire fence.

(just to add some more color)

And the fence needs fixin’

16

“This’ll freeze a toad’s ass to a lillypad.”

I’m not sure it’ll inspire many sonnets, butt it does have a certain lyrical quality.

17

I’ve heard the cow/rock thing around here too, but it didn’t include the word “tall.” Dairy cows aren’t really tall. They’re mostly just heavy. And dumb. The only thing dumber than a cow is a sheep. Unless it’s a certain 14 year old kid who volunteered to shovel out a barn that really needed it.

It’s nice to see you and your butt-fixation, lieu. I like that one, but wouldn’t a frog be hibernating in the mud if it got that cold? How about one that starts with “cold enough in lieu’s bathroom too…”?

I just remembered another one:

“Hot enough to make a turnip sweat.” Like Jack Batty’s entry, I don’t get it, but I like it.

18

Drier than Carrie Nation’s gullet.

19

Another euphemism for heavy rain is gulley washer.

20

:smack: There’s no “e” in gulley.