I have to leave for a wedding in an hour and a half. My fiance just asked me if we got them a gift. I reminded him about the $125 gift I gave at the shower. He said, “No, for the wedding, you’re supposed to bring a gift to the wedding too.”
This is news to me. Am I really supposed to bring a gift to the wedding after bringing one to the shower? This isn’t just an acquaintance getting married, it’s my oldest friend. I don’t want to look like a rude jerk by not bringing a gift if it’s traditional (she tends to be traditional - I’m not).
I think you’re ‘supposed’ to, yes. On the bright side, a Target gift card is an acceptable wedding gift, so hope there’s one between your house and the wedding venue 
HA! There’s isn’t. There’s a WalMart though. Two actually. Actually, Bed Bath and Beyond would be fine. They registered there so I’m sure they will be going there at some point.
Some sort of token wedding gift would be appropriate, but it does not (actually should not) be taken to the wedding. It is perfectly acceptable to give something after the wedding.
It may be expected, but I also expect to wake up in bed with a million dollars one day.
If you don’t want to bring a gift, don’t. If your friend is the type of person who would notice, then they deserve whatever hurt feeling they get.
A wedding is the one social event that pretty much requires you to send a gift if you care at all about the person or his/her family, even if you don’t actually attend. I generally don’t go overboard on the shower gift because I know that I’ll be bringing or sending a wedding gift, but if you spent a bunch on the shower gift, a smaller wedding gift would be appropriate. You are expected to bring (or, preferably, send) a gift for the actual wedding.
Yeah, get a wedding gift, but not on the way to the wedding. It can actually be a pain in the ass dealing with presents brought to the reception.
Send something at your convenience anytime in the next few weeks. (Some people say you have a year to send a wedding gift, but that seems strange to me.)
Thanks for the input everyone. We’re going to get a $50 gift certificate to BB&Beyond. We’ll bring it to the reception, only because I’m sure they’ll have a card box there.
I hope she realizes how much I care about her. I actually look like a lady right now, instead of a schleppy college student.
Yes. Picking up something at the convenience store on the way is just wrong. Ten boxes of Twinkies and a handful of beef jerky, is a sign that you didn’t put any thought into the gift.
Does it really matter if the Twinkies and beef jerky are delivered fresh at the reception, or if they are delivered 11 months later? I don’t think so.
That’s awesome, I actually started typing BB&B, but changed it to Target because they’re not everywhere. 
Or are they?
Are you planning on spending 5-6 hours consuming food and drink they paid for? Yes, bring a gift.
Actually I spent 30 minutes consuming food they paid for, and I drank water. 
The food was yummy though.
In my uneducated defense, I have never been to both a shower and a wedding. I usually just bring a gift (money) to the wedding. I always gave cash so they could have it for the honeymoon. This was my first time ever going to both. It never occurred to me that you’re supposed to give two gifts.
Anyway, we stopped at BB&B on the way to the reception. They had a basket for cards next to the cake.
Thank you all for the information. I’m glad I didn’t do something that would have offended anyone.
Of the people who came to my shower, most did not bring a separate wedding gift. But shower presents are supposed to be something small, not the substantial gift you give for a wedding. I would have given her a set of mixing bowls or something for the shower, and the $125 for the wedding.
That said, I doubt that she will give it another thought that you did it this way, and I’m sure you will receive a nice thank you note in short order. (She did already send you a thank you note for the shower, right?)
I normally do give cash since I usually only go to the wedding. In this case, I knew she was very excited about the Keurig Vue they had requested so I bought all the pouches they requested to go with it.
I got my thank you card about a week after the shower. It was pretty and hand made, hand written and heartfelt. Both of them are big tea and cocoa drinkers and she said how much they’re enjoying trying all the different varieties they have now.
I think this is also somewhat regional. In my part of Chicago, it’s generally two gifts: a non-cash/check gift for the shower, and cash/check for the wedding. This is somewhat changing, as I see more people brings actual gifts to weddings, but, growing up, it’s always been cash, and at our wedding, the vast majority of gifts (like 95%) were cash. (We did not have bridal shower.)
Really tacky to bring gifts to the wedding or reception. It’s not like a birthday party. Who’s supposed to take care of all the stuff? The bride and groom may be leaving directly for their honeymoon trip and you want to make them responsable for a bunch of packages?
Have the gift sent directly from the store, and I believe its acceptable for gifts to arrive up to a month or longer after the actual event. The Emily Post web site says three months.
I had no idea it was considered gauche to bring a gift to a wedding. I thought that was one of the maid of honour/head bridesmaid’s duties (to deal with opening the gifts, recording who gave what, arranging their safe transit at the end of the evening, etc).
People use all these events to soak the guests, it’s part of life now, unfortunately. But your gift should cover the cost of your food plus whatever you consume. The shower gifts, stag donations–all extras.
Good you got a gift, but remember next time that cash is king.
Where did this “rule” come from? I always thought the person throwing the reception, whether it be the newlyweds, their parents, or a combination, were hosts inviting guests to join in a celebration, with no thought to an admission charge… Silly me. Further, I thought gifts were given as a token of friendship and affection, chosen specifically for the couple as something they’d enjoy as they begin their married life.
Of course, I eloped, so what do I know?
:rolleyes: