Wedding Gift Ideas (for Bridesmaids) and Thank You Note Writing

In My Humble Opinion
1

Well, just like the title says, I’m looking for some gift ideas for my bridesmaids, as well as some tips on writing thank you notes for my wedding this August.

I have two bridesmaids, we’re having a very small, only marginally formal wedding, and we’re all in our thirties (and thus have no need for anything in particular). What are some of your bridesmaid gift ideas, anyone? What gifts have you received from being in a wedding party that you really appreciated?

As for writing thank you notes for the wedding gifts after the wedding, anyone have tips on writing good ones? Not just the etiquette stuff, I mean (I have the envelopes addressed already, and fully intend to have the thank you’s send out within a month of the wedding at the very latest), but the actual writing part.

Thanks for any input, peeps.

2

A double picture frame. One picture of you and said bridesmaid when you first met or became close, one picture of the two of you at the wedding.

No tips on writing—my thank you notes are always pretty lame.

3

Second the nice frame idea. My favorite “bridesmaid” gift is a very nice crystal photo frame.

4

Aw, crap. I lost my big beeyutiful answer to the evil hamsters.

Yep, you bet, it was the best, penultimate word in tasteful gift giving and note writing, and now it’s gone. Forever. :wink:

I didn’t have bridesmaids, so I can’t help you there. I would say just get them something that’s so unique, so uniquely you and them… But those things can be hard to think of and find when you’re awash in bridal planning.
‘Course, on the more risqué side, I notice that the beautiful Arianne “corset” and panty set I bought for my honeymoon are NOW on sale on the Nordstrom website, g’dammit. Pretty underwear (lovely, sinful scarlet red) would be a pretty cool thing for under the bridesmaid dress. Plus Arianne’s made in Canada, woo-hoo.
As far as thank you notes go, if you order a catalog from www.willowtreelane.com they have, in their thank you note section, thank you formulas. They also sell a thank you note help book. :rolleyes:
I pretty much pretend I’m writing a regular ol’ letter, I just happen to be also saying thank you for their presence at our wedding and/or a present somewhere in there. We had little disposable cameras at every table, so if there’s an okay picture of the person I’m writing, I include that, if not, or in addition to that, we’re including little baggies (like the ones you get when you buy a small amount of beads) of the beautiful talcum powder sand from in front of our honeymoon cabana in the Mexican Caribe and maybe a teeny shell or piece of the dead coral that washed up. The message is that we thought of them when we were on our honeymoon, which is sort of true. It would have been great to have all our family there, they would have loved it as much as we did. But somebody had to stay home and take care of our dog. :wink:
Good luck with all your wedding stuff…the only useful pieces of advice I have to give are contrary: if something goes wrong, don’t sweat it, just enjoy being with all these people you love, blah, blah, blah, this you know.
This, we learned the hard way: beforehand, be perfectly clear with the waitstaff what will be happening when. Let them know when the champagne toast is expected and that all guests are to have some sort of liquid in a glass to toast with when the best man gets up to toast don’t just let the poor bastard twist in the wind while you round up waitstaff with glasses…ah, I shouldn’t get started. And some people still didn’t have anything to toast with…no, I said I wouldn’t start.
Anyway, good luck!
You need anything? We’ve only been married 16 days, so we might still have some crap you might need, wedding dress, bustier, shoes, uh, er, I know there was more crap we had to run around and get, but now I can’t remember anything but those three things. How ego-centric is that?

5

For my bridesmaids, I went to the Estee Lauder Counter and purchased their small brass powder compacts. The store where i got them engraved them for free. They actually looked stunning. I had their names put on them. I got them at Neiman Marcus for around 30 dollars.

As for thank you notes, just start writting them - Ideas will come to you as you go. They need not be long, just sincere.

6

A friend of mine gave her bridesmaids sterling silver pendants. She had their monogram engraved on the front, and on the back was the reference to a particular bible verse – a different and special verse for each bridesmaid. I thought it was a lovely idea, because each gift was similar but totally personal. IIRC, she didn’t have to spend a fortune for them, either.

7

I’m making simple silver and pearl necklaces for mine. I also suggest copies of a book you really love, and think they’ll love too. Essential oils? Cookies? Certificates for mehendi (henna body art)?

Can’t help about the notes. I’ve got to start thinking about those, too. Blast.

8

Good ideas, everyone. Thanks for the input. I like the idea of a personal touch, since I only have two bridesmaids, so I don’t have to try to come up with wonderful items for 6 or 8 different women. I’m not sure telling people we were thinking about them on the honeymoon is such a good idea. :slight_smile:

9

One of the coolest gifts I ever got was a reference to an inside joke between a group of us. We were all different types of fish (it’s a long story that was a lot funnier when we were 14) and when we graduated, one of our friends got us these really cool pillows shaped like the various fish we were called. She only spent like $5 apiece, but it was perfect. It sort of reinforced our identity as a group. If both of your bridesmaids are friends also, I’d really try to go with something like that.

If they’re not, just look for something that you think they’d enjoy or would be useful for them. DrJ was a groomsman the summer between undergrad and med school, and they got him a really cool pen to write prescriptions with. It was a much better, more personal gift than the horrid pendant I got for being a bridesmaid at another wedding. (It’s silver and covered with crystals, and it looks like I’ve got a disco ball around my neck, but she wanted us to wear them at the wedding.)

Happy shopping, and don’t stress about it too much. They’re your friends and just want you to be happy. Try to relax and enjoy your wedding as much as you can. After all, it’s the happiest day of your life; the rest is apparently downhill all the way ;).

10

BTW, Lou, did you ever get that mess with the catering straightened out?

11

“Good” thank-you notes? I don’t think there is such a thing.
Don’t recall anyone asking me to “check out this fabulous thank-you note I received back in '94!”
or any references to the
“Great American thank-you note!”
:smiley:

As for bridesmaids gifts, maybe a Cross or some other sort of nice writing pen? There’s the pretty trinket factor, but it’s also usable.

12

I just had an idea for thank you notes.

  1. Write down a generic message you’d like to say to every person you write (We’re so grateful to you for being our friend/part of our family).

2)Pre-wedding, and while you can take time, write something down on a piece of paper that you want to mention to each gift giver (example: John and Mary - ask about the kids; JoAnne - mention how your new puppy is doing).

3)Then, as the gifts arrive or after the showers, write down one thing you like about the gift or what you would use it for (John and Mary - blue towels - love using brand new towels).

So you end up with,

John & Mary,

Thank you so much for the beautiful blue towels you sent us. I just love the feel of brand new towels and they make a bathroom look so much better!

Mr. Featherlou and I look forward to getting together with you this Christmas. I hope Marc and Melissa are doing well in school. Marc starts 3rd grade this year, right? I can’t believe Melissa is already thirteen. They grow up so fast!

Thanks again for thinking of us on our special day.

Love always,

Mr. and Mrs. Featherlou

13

Hey Featherlou, Congrats on your upcoming wedding!

I only had two bridesmaids as well. My MOH was my housemate and she helped with EVERYTHING! Her taste is without reproach and she helped me with flowers, and dresses, and all these ‘girly’ things I know nothing about. She probably spent more time helping me than my husband did. (probably?) I splurged on her present and got her a silver (anne klein?) watch with a very small diamond on it. It was $90. More than I wanted to spend, but she cried when she opened it and she wears it every day. This makes me very happy, as we don’t see each other as often now that she has moved.

My other bridesmaid is a tattoed, biker, hard drinking gal. I got her a nice silver flask with her initials on it. I think it was supposed to be for a man, but it was perfect for her. She called me last night and said she took it to the fireworks with some peppermint shnaups and had some adult cocoa. So I feel these were both a success.

I wouldn’t worry too much about the thank you cards. You have some great advice here. Just thank them for coming to the wedding (or thinking of you, if they weren’t there) I waited to write some of the cards until after the (disposable cameras) photos were developed, so I was able to send along a photo of them, or their kids at the wedding. The favorites were of all the cousins at the rehearsal dinner. My long distance friend sent us a beautiful quilt and I sent her a photo of the quilt on the bed with the cats (two) zonked out on it.

Anyhoo…congrats again :slight_smile:

14

For my bridesmaids (four of them), I bought the necklace they were wearing with the dress. I told them the color dress I wanted and then let them choose the dress, shoes and accessories since they were the ones who had to wear them. They picked out one of those filament necklaces (like fishing line) that was just a square rhinestone. Cost me about $5 each, so I also took them all out to a fun bridesmaid’s dinner. And after the wedding I gave each a framed photo of she & I at the wedding. Didn’t cost me a lot and actually all four of them wore those necklaces quite often after, so I felt they were good gifts.

I asked my bridesmaids what they would like as a gift, and the overwhelming emphatic answer was that they absolutely did not want another tchotchke type thing that they would never ever use (like a crystal frame or vase or jewel box, etc.) So that’s another tip–don’t get something that is typically “supposed” to be a bridesmaidy kind of gift. Stay away from weddingy type stuff and buy something they will actually appreciate and want in their house or that they will genuinely want to use.

As for thank you notes, all I can say is that you sound prepared which is great. What we did was sit down every night after dinner and wrote at least 5 each. I MADE hubby actually write some of them even though he claimed not to know what to say. I wrote out a standard note for him to just copy: (Dear__________, Thank you so much for the ____________! We can’t wait to use it/it will look great in our new place. We were so glad you were there to share our special day with us–it was great to see you! Love…)
Even though it sounded repetitive to us, you have to remember that each note is only going to one person and they don’t know that you send out 100 others just like it. Anyway, the goal of 5 each per night made it go pretty fast, plus we usually ended up doing more so we had them all done within a month. The big thing is just making yourself get started. Get all the supplies out and then don’t put them away until you’re done. Leave them on the dining room table so that it’s no pain to just sit down and knock a few out.

Oh, we also wrote the notes to each other’s family–i.e., I wrote the ones for his side of the family and he wrote the ones to mine, I guess just to say, “Hey, look! I’m part of the family now!”
They were still signed from both of us but in the other’s handwriting.

Hope that helps. Congratulations and enjoy the process! It’s all over too fast.

15

CrazyCatLady, I would like to say the catering mess is straightened out, but unfortunately, the caterer we ended up using has cashed our deposit, and four weeks and one phone call later, we’re still waiting for the contract. All I want is for the caterer to do what they promise, without me having to call them multiple times. Is that too much to ask? I’m bringing the phone number of a pizza place to the reception with me, just in case - I have absolutely no faith that these people are going to come through. {heavy sigh}

Anyway, I like your idea about gathering info for the notes in advance, throatshot. Kinda like preparing your outline for writing an essay, eh? I think I will begin that process now.

16

So I know that this forum discussion is a bit old, but I also know that a lot of people, as well as myself, check out forums based on their content, not date. Forums and discussion boards, like this one, can help someone gather ideas on topics that one may be needing ideas for!

So on that note… I wanted to post something for anyone who checks out this forum while seeking out bridesmaid/wedding gift ideas && thank you note ideas! (And just cool wedding ideas in general!) I was recently the best “ma’am” in my brothers wedding on July 11th. It was in Charlottesville, VA at a vineyard and was just so beautiful. For anyone wanting an outside wedding, I definitely recommend having it at a winery/vineyard. My brother and his wife did SO many cool things with this wedding that I wanted to pass on some of the ideas they used; it was a very unique wedding. Since my brother and I happen to not only be siblings but also best friends, he asked that I be his “best man” and be the first to stand behind him. The bride and her brother have a very close relationship as well, she asked that he be her “maid of honor.” We were referred to, however, as the “best ma’am and man of honor.” I wore the same dress as the bridesmaids, but in black since I was technically a groomsman. Her brother did NOT wear a pale blue tux though :wink:

My brother and his then fiance are slightly older, well early 30’s, which is not old at all but definitely a little past the age where the typical bachelorette and bachelor parties (with strippers and hotel rooms and such) are appealing, so they decided to pick a weekend where he and his friends would go have a “guys weekend” somewhere while the girls would go have a “girls weekend” somewhere. The guys went to Colorado and went skiing, snowboarding, to a brewery one day, etc …The girls went to a spa resort for the weekend; I thought these were great ideas for ways to get away and have quality time with your friends. For any girl who may be from TX, or the South, or a country music lover, or anything of that sort, I thought that wearing cowboy boots with the wedding dress was SUCH a cute thing to do, looked adorable in pictures (especially with the vineyard in the background), and probably much more comfy :slight_smile:

Um, regarding thank-you notes… Whenever there was a thank-you card to be sent out (after the bridal shower, wedding, etc…) the two of them made sure that each of them wrote a separate little message in each card, so that the person receiving the card got a personal “thank-you” from each of them. Because, if you think about it… perhaps not everyone that attended the event from the groom’s side knew the bride as well, and vice verse. So, just as an example, I’m sure that my grandmother’s best friend, who has known my brother his whole life & watched him grow up & now get married, appreciated it A LOT that my brother wrote her a personal note in the thank-you card, rather than her just getting a generic thank-you card from his new wife that she really has only met once, at the actual wedding. Get what I’m saying? I think as far as the actual messages in the cards go, I think that just being sure to not only thank the person for coming, especially if it was a wedding with some distance involved, but also say that it meant a lot that they could be there to spend and share such an important day with you guys. Be sure to acknowledge what gift they got you and that you really love it, get a lot of use out of it, something like that. :slight_smile: Everyone likes a little something that is personalized.

As far as buying gifts for bridesmaids and things like that, depending on where you live there are some GREAT places to shop for these things. Really though, online may be a girl’s best bet. I was included in the girls’ gifts, obviously, when it came to my brother’s wedding and his wife got us some really neat stuff, but didn’t have to spend a fortune. We got these sandals/flip-flops called “switch flops” and i will have to come back later with the exact name of the designer (I believe they say “lindsay phillips” on the inside) but they were sandals (there are both flip-flop style, and a “nicer”, sandal style available with a thong type strap that was interchangeable. You could buy different “V shaped” straps and switch them out, changing the look of your sandal. There are a lot of fun options… rhinestoned, polka dotted, various materials and patterns… This was a great gift for girls (Something less expensive, but they were actually a nice quality shoe) and something that we could all wear together over the weekend.

Also, anything personalized (I have mentioned this term a few times now) is always great. So like other people said, a nice personalized compact, an engraved or just very nice frame, sterling silver necklaces or bracelets that are somehow personalized, etc. A couple good store or websites to either visit in person OR online are Things Remembered and marilynskeepsakes.com
Marilyn’s Keepsakes actually specialized in wedding-related gifts and “keepsakes” such as wedding cake toppers, champagne flutes, bridesmaids gifts, etc…

I hope SOMEBODY got SOMETHING from this long forum post :slight_smile: I have been wanting to share their wedding ideas and such with someone for a while because they just had such a beautiful wedding and everyone had such a good time and most of all, it was just nice to see them do everything the way THEY wanted to with all these fun, new ideas and ways to do things, rather than just do everything the traditional way because that’s how you are “supposed” to do it… Hope I was of some help :slight_smile:

17

Wow; here’s a blast from the past. My husband and I celebrated our eight anniversary at then end of August. :slight_smile: I think my only regret from our wedding is that I wasn’t happy with my dress; that’s about it.