I wish the OP had mentioned how close she was to her cousin. Since this is the case, I change my vote from “recital” to “wedding.”
Wow, I really don’t get these posts. What they seem to imply is that if the whole family was invited to the wedding you’d make your kid miss their recital. If the recital is really important enough that this is such a hand-wringing decision, it seems kind of crappy to make them miss it, depite the fact that Dad can still attend.
I’m also surprised that this is really the ONLY recital of the year. Don’t they have holiday programs and stuff, too. It seems a little intense to have kids practicing for a whole year for a single performance.
And here’s a final thought: If Dad is tech-savey he can probably have the kids’ footage up on youtube an hour after the performance where Mom and maybe other interested family members can watch. It’s possible you might even get to see it before the wedding even starts!