How long should one normally allow to plan a decent wedding?
For those that have done it, what do you recommend?
Would 21 months be enough? Or would adding another year be necessary and then make it 33 months?
Just curious:-)
Chris
What do you mean by “decent”?
We had a very nice wedding (about 80 guests), 364 days after getting engaged.
The main thing you need to do now is reserve the space. If you can find a place to have it, you’ve got tons of time for everything else.
Just skip the whole thing
I’m sorry. That wasn’t appropriate. I just… well, marriage isn’t high on my list right now…
OK, a “decent” wedding, you say? Don’t worry about the planning. DO give yourself 9-12 months. Start calling around to book things, and you’ll quickly get a very good idea about how long it’ll take.
Be happy. 
Well Why are you asking this??? I would marry you in a heartbeat love:) kiss
Why? Cause you said that late 2002 was too early cause we (well, mostly you, in all likelyhood) wouldn’t be able to plan in time:-)
Well I just want to make sure are wedding is the most special/memorable occasion that we will share:)
Ah, my love- that is a great idea- but I don’t think we want the wedding to be the best occasion we ever share… I think it should be awesome, yes- but the best occasion should be every day we get to spend with each other from that point on, till the day that death forces us to part. The wedding is just the beginning…
g
Chris
Tears You truly are such a beautiful individual:) I’m not sure how i would ever have made it through life if you had not become such a great part of my life. I Love You Now and Forever:.)
Welp, if you make sure the church (or wherever) is free a couple of months ahead of time, and do the same for the reception, you should be set.
Then again, we had the ceremony in my hub’s church, and the reception at a friend’s pizza place (he had vats of spaghetti and hot wings…WOO)…never went in for the whole big wedding thing. I’m probably not the best person to answer.
Well, I know it’s not usual, but my sister planned and executed a beautiful, formal wedding in 5 weeks. All it took was a few phone calls to see if the Rabbi, photographer, synagogue and hotel for the reception were available the weekend she wanted to get married - and fortunately they were (and this was a JUNE wedding, no less!). She picked out a dress, had it altered, picked out invitations, had them printed and delivered, picked out flowers and a cake and all of it was ready in plenty of time. No last minute rushing or anything. And every single thing went off without a hitch, which, from what I understand, is also quite unusual.
I guess the point I’m making is that there are no set guidelines for how long one should take to plan a wedding. Do it in whatever time frame will be comfortable for you both.
Congratulations on your engagement. May you have long and happy lives together!
21 months is way the hell too long to let oneself be caught up in wedding details. I think you and the fiancee would go stark raving mad. Seriously.
THAT said, I do know people who have found that one year in advance, their desired weekend–even their desired month or SEASON–wasn’t available at the church or location they’d hoped to have the thing. So… if you’re thinking of having it at some high-falutin’ or popular place, then maybe you need to pick the weekend now. Otherwise, don’t start. Because a wedding can take over your life in the most unpleasant of ways. You swear you won’t get caught up in it, but next thing you know you’re driving to three states trying to find a feathered guestbook pen just right shade of peach so it won’t clash with the mints you’re serving or the cloth covering the guestbook table. Pretty soon you’re having a fight over the font you’re using on the souvenir matchbooks. And don’t think it will make it easier if only one of you cares about such things–because then you might be fighting about how the other one “doesn’t care enough.”
We planned our wedding in 8 months. Only it was more like 6, because it wasn’t until we were a few months into it that we settled on having a destination wedding. I spent very little time on it because I didn’t give a rip about most of it. Didn’t choose attendant’s dresses, didn’t arrange for any flowers except my own bouquet, blew off as many details as humanly possible. However, if I’d had a more traditional wedding, I expect I would’ve found that way too little time. I dunno.
Consider a simple ceremony.
My wife and I dated for a year. Our relationship felt so… right, I guess, that one day she said, “hey, wanna get married?” To which I said, “okay.” Sure, it wasn’t romantic, but the point is we already felt married; this was more a formality.
The wedding was planned pretty much the way you would plan a party. My in-laws offered their cabin for the ceremony; they arranged the photographer and the pastor (who agreed to a non-religious ceremony), provided drinks and snacks, etc. We invited family and a few friends and wrote our own vows. My wife’s little brother played a synthesizer for ceremonial music. It was all simple and stress free.
We had another party six months later for the reception, inviting more family and friends, cooking up food and preparing the day before. If I had to do it again, I’d do it exactly the same way.
Congratulations, by the way, and if I may humbly offer some advice: always remember the person you marry today is not the same person you’ll be married to ten years from now (especially if you’re in your early twenties, as we were). You’ll both continue to grow and change, and not necessarily in ways you want. Keep listening to each other, or one day you’ll realize you’re married to a stranger.
I’m still madly in love with my wonderful wife after eleven years of marriage.
I planned my wedding in less than three months. I reserved my space at the beach 3 weeks ahead of time. We had the reception at my parents house. It was probly the best wedding that anyone had gone to and it cost less than 5K. I definitly think that 21 months are more than enough. YOu will probly go crazy if you start planning now in fact. Just reserve where you want it 12-14 months in advance and the rest will follow nicely and there will be no problems.
How much time you need depends on where and when you want to have it. I planned my wedding in six months, mostly because I didn’t have a particular date in mind. I found a catering hall that I liked and checked which days the room I wanted was available. I booked the room in May for a November wedding. If I was-dead set on that room on a Saturday night in June, I would have had to book not the next June (13 months away) but the one after that.That said, I didn’t get into a frenzy immediately after booking the room, because you don’t really need six months to do the rest of the stuff (I had a big wedding).If you have that long, you can spread it out. I knew that I had until 3 months before the wedding to order dresses ,invitations,limos,etc, so it didn’t really become a frenzy until the last two weeks or so, where I had something to do almost every night (fittings,picking up favors,rehearsal,the seating list)That will probably happen whether you start planning 2 months or two years ahead.
I got married 9 months after getting engaged. We decided on a few different days in the month we wanted, and were able to arrange everything with no problems. I had a huge wedding with all the trimmings. My Mom spent close to 30k, if that tells you anything. The biggest thing was booking the hall. Once that was done, we were able to book the photographer, limos, florist, videographer, and DJ. Look around a lot before you settle on anything. We auditioned about 6 DJs before we found one we really liked. Talk to your friends…everyone thinks the guy they had was the best, but you never know, you may get an interesting lead. If you plan on having studio portraits done, visit as many studios as you can. Do they have an indoor garden in case of rain? Will they give you the negatives? If you plan on spending a small fortune, make sure you get everything you want. Think about the things you don’t want, make a list. Go over the contracts you sign carefully.
My husband and I had a long distance relationship, so we did all the actual visiting and auditioning in one week. One day was for the video and photographer. One day we visited Catering Halls. One day we went to florists. After we went home for the night, we discussed it and picked one.
The most important thing to remember is to have fun! This is your wedding! Best wishes and much happiness to you both.
Rose
Baglady and I planned a perfectly nice wedding in 2 1/2 days.
You win! 
Mrs. F. and I picked our date (in mid-May) a little over a year ahead, and booked the chapel and the reception hall at about that time. That gave us time to take care of the other major pieces of the puzzle - caterer, photographer, guest list, invitations, bride’s and bridesmaids’ gowns, etc. - at a leisurely pace.
We were on the economy plan - we had a wedding for 75 guests for about $3500 - so we didn’t get too bogged down in details; we weren’t paying for the sort of stuff that produces the endless details, thank the Lord.
We planned everything, got it scheduled, got it ready, and got hitched in a little over a year. Aug. 21, 1999 - Sep. 23, 1999.
We also did it up big. Well, fairly large should be the term. With rehearsal dinner, flowers, reception, catering, band, alcohol, and honeymoon, we probably ended up spending about $20k or so. We paid it off as we went. Sure, it hurt a bit in spots. But, it was great not having that load on our minds when we got back.
Very specific desires (such as a gotta-do-it-there-because… Church/Chapel/Synagogue or a gotta-have-it-this-date-beacause… time and date) leave you to the mercy of supply and demand. Mine was in a lovely garden in an Ante-Bellum mansion in Charleston, had to replace the celebrant due to last minute probs with priest, but the whole thing was less than four months of seriously getting even the CITY down. Smallish group, but flexibility in location made it a breeze.