May the roof above you never fall in, and the love between you never fall out.
May your hands be stretched forth always in friendship, and never in want.
May you be buried in a coffin made of wood from a hundred year old tree that isn’t planted yet.
And may you grow old on one pillow.
Used it twice so far. Good reaction both times.
And give my best wishes to the bride and groom!
Regards,
Shodan
Your job is to make as many embarrasing jokes as possible
Seriously though, most people feel like they are somehow being judged when they make a speech, but actually if you think about it, they are on your side really, plus im willing to bet that quoting latin is not something you do on a daily basis, so that might seem out of place and tacky.
The stuff suggested by Gatsby and Shodan rocks. I hadn’t realized until I researched toasts how extremely lame most of them are. Or maybe it just isn’t a popular publishing topic.
Most of what I found was pretty moldy. The books tended to have chapters of “humorous stories” that must have been real knee-slappers around 1908. The more modern ones were so Regis Philbin smarmy they’d turn your stomach.
Just an observation.
Veb
I MUST remember this thread come next spring… I wonder if I can keep track of it if I print it out.
I am going to be Best Man at my best friends wedding next year… I am already aggonizing over the speach… this thread has some great stuff!
I like this one. I will have to try and rember it if I ever get the chance to be a best man.
And another thing, your job is not only to make as many jokes as possible, but you are supposed to catch the groom if he faints, and trip him if he runs.
Left blanks where names go.
"
On behalf of the bride, the groom and their parents I would like to thank all of you for coming here to share
This wonderful day with _____ and ______.
What a truly gorgeous setting for this event. I understand that a lot of work has gone into making this place look as good as it does, and I’d like to begin by thanking _____'s Mom _____ for opening up her home and her heart and having us.
This IS a great moment. I look around at all these faces, family and friends of my brother, and my new sister in law, and I think again. What a wonderful moment…… For REVENGE!
In that spirit I’d like to tell you a very short story, one that hasn’t seen the light of day for about 20 years.
When I was 12 and ______was eight we did what brothers often do. We tortured each other. To be honest, usually it was me torturing him. I was about to commit some horrible and unspeakable atrocity on _____. I had him pinned down helpless (In the spirit of good taste we’ll leave this particular atrocity nameless.) He said “Don’t do it. If you do it I swear I’ll kill you.” Of course, once he said that I had to do it, so I did. Afterwords I ran laughing from the room, expecting him to give chase, and I was surprised when nothing happened. I sat there giggling in my room for ten minutes or so, and then I began to get worried. What if he was really upset and crying? What if he was hurt? What if he told Mom and Dad? I came downstairs and the house was silent. I couldn’t find him. He was gone. Now I was very scared I walked from to room wondering if he had a run away, and I felt like a pretty bad guy. I was sorry and if I could only find my brother I’d apologize for what I had done. At that very moment Michael found me! He leaped screaming from his hiding place and stabbed me in the back…… With a block of wood. A building block.
I have saved this block of wood. _____, I think it only appropriate that you should have it. When the time comes, you’ll know what to do with it _____l, when that moment comes. Think of me!
I’d like to propose a toast to the bride and groom!
May the roof above you never fall in, and the love between you never fall out.
May your hands be stretched forth always in friendship and never in want.
May you be buried in a coffin made of wood from a hundred year old tree that isn’t planted yet.
And may you grow old on one pillow.
“Slaynt shee, Aaas dy vea, as Maynry’s on dy Bragh (Health , peace, ease of life and happiness)”
Thank you guys for the help. It went over very well.