Who's been the best man?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

My brother is getting married next week. I’m trying to write a toast. Shit, this is tough. I’ve been crawling all over the web tonight looking for useful info. I haven’t found too much.

This is my first time as best man so I’m kinda nervous. Plus, it’s my brother’s wedding, so I’d like to give a toast to be remembered. Ok, I’ll settle for not remembered as lousy.

I turn to you, the TM for advice. If anyone has any useful suggestions, toasts, quotes, anecdotes, websites, etc. they would be greatly appreciated.

[sub]Re: the final toast, if anyone knows some traditional Irish wedding toasts, complete with Gælic and English translation, I would be especially grateful.[/sub]

2

I did this once. It was in verse. But, I can’t remember what I wrote.

My recommendation is keep it short. Say only what you need to say. As for the Gaelic. Dont try to repeat the whole thing. Say the toast and then end it with the Gaelic equivelent to “Saluut.” (or “Skoal” etc.)

3

I’ve been the best man once. Didn’t care for it, though that’s no criticism on the married couple: things were very hectic, had to fly to Hawaii and back on a long weekend. Went by myself–no SO then (or for that matter, now).

For the toast, I quoted Shakespeare (big surprise, I know).

4

I have been, and will be again the Best man.

First we start with the pre-marriage ceremony. I offer the Groom a swig off of some gnarley Bourbon or other whiskey, or the keys to the fastest car in the Groom-party. If he takes the swig, he gets married…if not, that musclecar better be lighting it up as he tears off out of the church parking lot.

THen for the speech. Tips:

1- Be loaded, it always helps.
2- Open with joke about your childhood. Make it something embarassing, but not too embarassing.
3- Make gratuitous joke about how the baby will look like and that you hope he has more hair than his father and gets his mothers eyes or something.

Other than that, I don’t know much what to tell you :slight_smile:

-Sam

5

There are books and even websites where you can buy a speech and fill in the blanks. I definitely recall a site out of Ireland that does this - sorry I recently lost all my IE Favourites so no URL.

The UK version of a Best Man’s speech includes anecdotal stuff designed to hint at embarrassing the Groom but just stopping short. – i.e. ‘alluding’ to his legendary status as a batchelor swordsman is fine. Have a couple of joke ‘bankers’ ( a good thread going at the moment in IMHO), general anecdotal stuff about being great friends and for how long (cue more slightly embarrassing memories from schooldays), describe how the Bride has been pivotal in his social rehabilitation and even mention the love thing.

IMHO, you’re the light relief with a little pathos. If you can, don’t think about the audience at all and try to concentrate just on saying what you want to say. Lots of deep breathing and practice, practice, practice until you feel comfortable that it’s in your head. Have a few reassuring notes in case you need to jog your memory.

Easy.

(gulp)

6

I agree with London Calling. Keeping it brief, and touching on some humorous, maybe embarrassing (but not scandalous) anecdotes about the groom, then praising the bride will not get anyone angry with you, and will be entertaining.

Remember to end with a decent and sincere toast to the couple, so that people will realize that it was all in affectionate fun.

I like the following (from Children of a Lesser God, IIRC):

Here’s to (bride’s name) and (groom’s name). Let no person, living or dead, present or absent, ever come between them."

Good luck.

7

Just keep in mind–nobody’s really listening anyway.

Seriously, it should be crafted to fit the B&G. Can you think of any wonderful things about them that should (or can) be mentioned in public? Quotes from the classics tend to sound a bit stuffy, so be careful.

But I wouldn’t listen to me. I’m not due to be a best man until April 2001 (my best friend’s FINALLY getting married). Since Dave’s said he wants to have vodka shots instead of champagne, I suspect mine will be along the lines of, “Dude, here’s to your new dudess. Have lots of little dudettes. Urp!(vomits)”

8

I was Best Man three times in one year, for three different religions – a Catholic wedding, a Mormon wedding (not a “sealing”, so I could get in), and an atheist civil ceremony in NYC (I do not recommend a New York civil ceremony. Everything public in NYC looks like it’s been through a major war). Three times a Best Man, never the Best…
I found my speeches and toasts in a book in the reference section of the local library. All I had to do was a little revision to fit the circumstances.

WARNING: It is imortant to know your audience. That bawdy poem will work well for one occasion, but won’t at the really Catholic reception. That embarrassing childhood incident might not play very well with a hair-trigger groom, and so on.

9

Irish Toasts…

here is something to start off the toast.
I’ll write it in Irish and a phonetic translation (and an English one too!!!

1.) Meas Gearr an Sceal is greanmhar

Mass Ghar an Scale iss granvar

The Short Toast is the Best Toast!
2.)Is fearr Dhia, ach na be ag rince sna badin.

iss fe-arr D-a, awk naw bee egg ringka sna bawdeen

God is good, but dont dance in a small boat.

The Irish word for cheers is “Slainte!”(slawncha!)
here is a really good Irish saying, perfect for a wedding, but too long and complicated in Irish to make a good attempt at.
May you be poor in misfortune,
rich in blessings,
slow to make enemies,
quick to make friends.
But rich or poor, quick or slow,
may you know nothing but happiness
from this day forward.

If you want anything translated, let me know

10

My advice is something I was told years ago by an old and trusted family friend:

“Remember that a good speech is like a woman’s skirt - long enough to cover the subject, but short enough to retain interest.”

If you use that rational, along with the excellent advice on content as provided above, you can’t really go wrong.

Also, from my own experience, make it look like you want to be there, and want to make the toast. Be prepared and enjoy the moment of attention. Nothing looks worse than someone who is not ready, and who acts in an embarassed manner.

11

May there always be work for your hands to do;
may your purse always hold a coin or two;
may the sun always shine on your windowpane;
may a rainbow be certain to follow each rain;
may the hand of a friend always be near you;
may God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.

12

Saint Patrick s Breastplate

Old Celtic Irish, eighth-century prayer. (To be said with conviction)

I rise today in the power’s strength, invoking the Trinity,
believing in threeness, confessing oneness of creation’s Creator.

I rise today
in the power of Christ’s birth and baptism,
in the power of His crucifixion and burial,
in the power of His rising and ascending,
in the power of His descending and judging.

I rise today
in the power of the love of cherubim,
in the obedience of angels and service of archangels,
in hope of rising to receive the reward,
in the prayers of patriarchs,
in the predictions of the prophets,
in the preaching of apostles,
in the faith of confessors,
in the innocence of holy virgins,
in the deeds of the righteous.

I rise today
in heaven’s might,
in sun’s brightness,
in moon’s radiance,
in fire’s glory,
in lightning’s quickness,
in wind’s swiftness,
in sea’s depth,
in earth’s stability,
in rock’s fixity.

I rise today
with the power of God to pilot me,
God’s strength to sustain me,
God’s wisdom to guide me,
God’s eye to look ahead for me,
God’s ear to hear me,
God’s word to speak for me,
God’s hand to protect me,
God’s way before me,
God’s shield to defend me,
God’s host to deliver me,
from snares of devils,
from evil temptations,
from nature s failings,
from all who wish to harm me,
far or near,
alone and in a crowd.

Around me I gather today all these powers
against every cruel and merciless force to attack my body and soul,
against the charms of false prophets,
the black laws of paganism,
the false laws of heretics,
the deceptions of idolatry,
against spells cast by people who would draw me aside,
and all unlawful knowledge that harms the body and soul.

May Christ protect me today
against poison and burning,
against drowning and wounding,
so that I may have abundant reward;

Christ with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me;
Christ within me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me;
Christ to the right of me, Christ to the left of me;
Christ in my lying, Christ in my sitting, Christ in my rising;
Christ in the heart of all who think of me,
Christ on the tongue of all who speak to me,
Christ in the eye of all who see me,
Christ in the ear of all who hear me.

I rise today
in power’s strength, invoking the Trinity,
believing in threeness,
confessing the oneness of creation’s creator.

For to the Lord belongs salvation,
and to the Lord belongs salvation,
and to Christ belongs salvation.

May your salvation, Lord, be with us always.

13

Done this maybe 3 or 4 times. The only one I remember was this:

“To “Herman” and “Hortense”: May you live as long as you want to; and may you want to as long as you live”.

This is very, very good advice. “Hortense” was about 3 months pregnant at this point. I got a furious look from her at this point.

14

You might want to check out the eHow website. They have toastgiving advice.

I did the BM thing for my brother’s wedding. I don’t remember a damn thing I said except my opening line which your welcome to steal:

“If I’m the best man, how come she’s marrying him?”

(Ba-doom, Baaaah! Applause, applause, applause.)

15

Just remembered… one of the major champagne makers published a “How to Make a Toast” booklet. I bet they’ve got a website too. You might want to check that out.

16

The best man at my wedding told a very funny story about events leading up to meeting me. Basically, he told about how his best friend had gone away to MIT, and told him about this wonderful woman he was dating, and the BM decided that no such woman could possibly exist, and that his friend had cracked under the pressure and invented an imaginary girlfriend. I think this is the tone you want - making gentle fun of the groom while being complimentary to the bride.

Stories about how you met the bride, and how cool it is that your brother is getting married, and how good the bride has been for him, all play well.

17

Thanks, all for the replies. JohnLarrigan, I really appreciate your offer to translate. I may very well take you up on it.

Is it ok to use a stock joke to open?

I was thinking about doing the bit where I have the bride put her hand down, then the groom putting his hand on top of it. Then joking that it’s the last time the groom will ever have the upper hand.

I’ve seen it mentioned on several sites, and I’m wondering if it’s a bit stale. How many people have heard this one before?

18

Something humorous my husband did when his cousin got married…
He and his cousin are very close in age (their moms are sisters) and were quite the hell-raisers when they were kids. Just the usual little-kid touble stuff, nothing real bad, but I digress.
He made a little speech about how it was soon after they both were born that their mothers started having to use Lady Clairol, and now it was Lisa’s turn for the Lady Clairol. He even had a box of it and presented it to her.
Very cute and funny.
Keep it clean, please, the bride will remember that.

19

I’ve never been a best man, but I have been a maid of honor, and I gave a toast too.

Sharing a childhood story is good. But sharing a story about how the groom & bride met, or how you and the bride met, is always great.

My brother was the best man for my uncle at my uncle’s wedding last year (my brother & my uncle are only 2 years apart in age, and are very, very close friends). My brother told a story about my uncle’s first date with the woman he married. While I won’t go in to the details of the story (not really relevant to the post), the story did have the hallmarks of the perfect toast–it was funny but not embarassing, and painted the bride in an extremely flattering light. If you can find a story that does that, use it.

And keep it short. The comparison to a woman’s skirt is very, very true!