Weekly Comic Book Discussion : 1/15/2009

Final Crisis #6! And other stuff. Discuss!

There was other stuff?!?

Yeah, my local comic book guy is pissed at Marvel again–they did this big promo thing about Spidey meeting Obama*, but released the Obama cover as a special premium thing. He had to field about 150 calls from all over the country asking if he had any for sale–and turn away potential new comics buyers (although they’re issuing a second printing next week). Marvel did the same thing with the Death of Captain America. If you’re gonna do nationwide media stuff, make sure there’s enough copies to meet the demand you’re gonna create.

I figured out what part of the problem with Trinity is – I don’t care about the cave-people’s impressions of Clark/Bruce/Diana. And we’ve had like 18 issues of stone-age types doing NOTHING but giving us expository dialogue about it. This series was supposed to be about Supes/Bats/WW. Instead, it’s about cavemen and lame-ass parallel worlds that will never be seen again.

And I still don’t know what’s going on in Final Crisis. More about this later.
Which I find stupid and will be dated in about 15 minutes–but to be fair, Marvel has a long history of latching onto the flavor of the month–from “The Thing and the Human Torch MEET THE BEATLES” to “Spider-Man meets the (original) Not Ready For Prime Time Players”, Marvel has always tried to be…Timely.*
**Yes, that whole paragraph was to set up the pun. It’s true. I DO have no shame.

Trinity was particularly ugh-worthy this week, with the needlessly overdramatic backstory that could’ve been summed up in a few panels of a story that actually MOVED THE DAMN PLOT ALONG.

Action did that thing that Johns has been doing a lot lately in his storylines – suddenly rushed to a conclusion. The concepts and ideas behind everything are strong, though, and I’m looking forward to what comes next. Although Counter-Earths have been done to death, really.

Booster Gold was pretty good.

GL Corps was fantastic – loved that the Star Sapphires are being shifted away from “love-crazed freaks” to promoting their light, and with the creepy little blue guys again acting like morons, the Star Sapphires now actually have a reason to join in on the war of light. Nice bit with Salaak at the end, too. Although I’m beginning to wonder if any of the current GLs will be left in the Corps once this story arc is over…

Final Crisissigh I’ll just have to re-read it once it’s finished, I think. Anyone know what was going on in the operation room where Mr. Terrific told Renee nothing was going on?

I’m still loving GL and GLCorps–the end scene with the resignations was really powerful and I like that Star Sapphires can be nuanced. I was getting a “All other colors but green are fanatics” vibe and this got rid of that.

Regarding Final Crisis:

  1. Ok–so…something (not the events in “Death of the New Gods” or “Countdown” (per Morrison in about 8000 interviews)) happened and Darkseid won. He was able to kill all the other New Gods, but he needed a bullet of unobtainium to kill Orion. And he fired the bullet from the future into the past. Wha?

  2. As a result of winning the “war in heaven”, Darkseid got cast down where he’s stuck in Boss Dark Side’s (and maybe later, Dan Turpin’s) body? Why?

  3. The Monitors are pissed at Nix for allowing Earth 51 to be destroyed, rebooted and redestroyed in Countdown? Why? Just reboot it again.

  4. Darkseid’s first target was…The Martian Manhunter? Why?

  5. Sonny Sumo recovered from Darkseid’s Omega Beams how? How’d he get back to Japan in the current century without his Mother Box?

  6. If the online timelines are correct. Barry’s been back for like a month–shouldn’t we get some reaction to that beyond “Huh. How 'bout that?”

more later, but if anyone can help with these, I’d love it. I mean, I want to like this. I loved Infinite Crisis (even the reality punches). I loved the 2-3 years of setup they went though. And I’m just not…getting…this.

**
Plus, they don’t work. We have an elliptical orbit–most of the time we WOULD be able to see them. The sun would only be between us for a few months.

I hate the way the Guardians have been played since Green Lantern #76 (circa 1972)–I prefer them as near-omnibenevolent, near-infallible demi-gods (see the classic Elliot S! Maggin story “Must There Be A Superman?” for what I want Guardians to be, as opposed to Denny O’Neil’s space fascist pigs)

Regarding Trinity and Final CrisisFenris speaks the truth. Heed his words.

Yeah, and Fenris is spot-on about the recent characterization of the Guardians, too.

Well, Johns fixed Hal’s characterization since O’Neil screwed him up*, so maybe the current thing with the Guardians has to do with them trying to exclude the other parts of the emotional spectrum.

*The “You can’t be a hero AND conservative, so Hal must be a weak-willed moron who NEVER thought about any complex issue” thing. Johns has let that whole “You tell me what you done for th’ black man?” / "< sob > I … can’t! :frowning: " crap be a result of Parallax messing with Hal’s mind.

Yeah, I’ve suspected for a while that the Guardians are acting so whacko because they’ve OD’d on willpower – they have been willfully stupid little buggars, after all. Plus, there’s that one Guardian who’s been infected by anti-matter, adding to the whackyness.

But it has gotten to the point that their ring-messages may as well be “Attention, all members of the Green Lantern Corps! We are douches, and have yet another rule to screw you over with! Enjoy, you tards!”

And we’re only on rule number 3! Cripes, I don’t think I can stand another seven rules of douchebaggery. Five other emotions to outlaw, and a couple rules left over to cover bathroom etiquette or something, probably.

What was Rule #2, by the way?
#1 was “Lethal force enabled”
#3 was “No Lanterns In Love”

I don’t remember #2 at all.

Maybe this one adjusts its counter-orbit accordingly? It’s not exactly a natural satellite after all.

#1 - Lethal force against Sinestro Corps members
#2 - Lethal force against any enemies of the Green Lantern Corps
#3 - No Nookie!

Had the creepy little blue guys not been turned into morons by plot fiat, they might’ve noticed #1 & #2 could’ve been combined, thus leaving them an extra new rule to deal with bathroom etiquette.

#4 - Don’t wipe with your ring hand.

ring: Warning! Klingons detected! Warning! Klingons detected!

GL: :eek:

Rule # 5 - All Green Lanterns must wear at least 15 pieces of flair.

Rule #6 - There is NO rule 6
sorry… someone had to do it

I find myself agreeing with Fenris a lot in this thread. Yeah, I’m also tired of the Guardians being portrayed as these manipulative and almost malevolent bastards. I was okay with Denny O’Neil’s portrayal of them as being unbearably strict and overly inflexible, but I don’t go for their current depiction at all.

I also agree about the stupidity of this whole Spidey/Obama biz. Folks, I don’t care whether you’re Democrat or Republican, liberal or conservative. It’s a colossally bad idea to have Spidey jump on the Obama hype bandwagon before the man has even been sworn into office! Let’s have a bit of perspective here, shall we?

Perspective? In American politics? When did THAT start? :smiley:

Nobody has commented on the “Marvel”/“Timely” joke? :frowning:

:wink: