…teased vagina?
…Mafia widow.
Weep like a really weepy guy who’s weeping a lot, probably because he’s really sad about something, but I’m not sure what because I didn’t bother to ask and it’s probably none of my business anyway.
Tile?
This one gets my vote!
…Oscar contender
…bride left at the altar, who then steps in a bear trap.
tdn, that was classic! 
That’s the tone I’m going for, ShotgunZen. Though tdn’s made me laugh, and I liked the visual of a jilted bride stepping in a bear trap.
…rioter who’s just been tear-gassed?
I weep like the Niagara falls, like the seething waters of the Atlantic rushing through Panama if ever the locks were destroyed, salty water spraying through to destroy thousands of habitats. My eyes gush out tears with a force that firemen have wet dreams of.
Yes, I am The Tearjerker. So long as I have onions and a knife, no injustice shall escape my heartfelt jets of superheroism.
Weep like a fat girl on Oprah.
Weeping like a fat girl stood up for prom
Weeping like a willow
Weeping like a baby
Weeping like a schoolyard bully kicked in the balls
Weeping like the blind girl watching her first sunrise
Weeping like a man who’s family had been murdered by the next door neighbor
Weeping like a sinner in hell
“Weeping” to begin with is not a strong enough word. To me it implies a soft whimpering - from the OP’s wording it seems like she would be far better off with the word “sobbing” or something else that’s stronger.
Tears gushing like it was heavy flow day…
Tears poured freely from my eyes like vodka in a russian bar
Sadness weighing me down like an anvil on my shoulder
My heart dropped like an obese man missing a chair to sit on
A sudden deep overwhelming feeling of confusion and sadness, like finding out you will die tomorrow
Crying like the man who was 5 minutes too late for an appointment that would change his life
She cried like the mother of 6 who was just informed that Ricky is “not the father”
Oh, come on people… it’s not going to get any better than this.
. . . like Niobe.
Come on, go with the classic.
Weep like a fountain.
Weep like Liberace.
Weep like a sheep.
Woo hoo, I’m number two!
I don’t try at all.