Woke up at 6am. Siamese Christmas elf-cats are starved. Nearly dying. Can’t pee first. Feed cats first.
I fixed their breakfast and went back to bed. Well, got back up to pee. I stood up and looked in the mirror on my left butt cheek it looks red. I look closer. It’s a perfect humanoid bite mark. In bright red!
Ok, who bit my butt while I was sleeping?
Did you sit on some dentures?
Mr.Wrekker has a partial bridge. But it was in the cup on the sink counter. 
Out of curiosity, what would happen if you peed 1st anyway, and then fed the cats?
Yes, yes, they’ll howl and whine. But so what?
Do they revenge-piss on your things if they’re mad?
If not, fuck 'em. Go hit the Human Litter Box ™ first.
Better yet, before you go pee, really the very first thing when you get up … take AWAY their food bowls. Now go pee, start your coffee, get your morning underway, and then put their bowls back & feed 'em. Guaranteed they’ll stop waking you up!
Revenge is best served cold.
Evil Siamese don’t play.
Your bite mark is evidence! You probably have to go to The Big City to find a lab that can do forensic work. And then EVERYBODY in your household will have to give sample bite marks!
Including the animals!
: puts on Sherlock Holmes hat: I surmise it is either Li’l Wrekker’s BF (eeeeuuwwwww!) or…
DUM, DUM…DAAAHHHHHH!
The bear.
~VOW
As God is my witness, I didn’t do it.
Reminds me of a Robert Cray album.
Hmm. Possible theories:
• bite-shaped rash
• a bite-shaped crease in pj’s or bottom sheet
• a bad decision in your past*
*You know, it came back to bite you in the butt.
Yeah. Nellie- I was trying to ponder in my bad decisions. One big one that come to mind was laying out the big $$$s for 2 snooty, finicky felines. They might would bite (my thumb has scars) but, (well, butt) the circle is too big for cat size.
So *that’s *where I was last night!
A real guess: ring worm?
Dennis
Hmmm…and you were looking at your butt in the mirror… why?
Jaycat- I’m a girl looking in the mirror at certain body parts is normal behavour.
What? Ringworm isn’t a worm it’s just a fungus like athlete’s foot. They really need to call it something else. Back when I had a bout of athlete’s foot a few decades ago I had a red circle appear on my neck. Some of them critters snuck up there. A bit of Tinactin and it was gone.
I would never insult you, Becky!
Dennis
I think I know what bit me in the butt.
Friday I had a glucose emergency. My DIL and the lil’wrekker got me to urgent care. I was fighting and confused so they sedated me. The bite mark is actually where they jabbed me in the hip with demerol.
I was bad, bad, bad. Again.
Well, here I am worrying retroactively again. SO glad you’re OK and that you had smart, capable people getting you to care. Yikes.
PS How does a Demerol injection look like a human bite? Did they have to stick you multiple times??
I think I’m slightly allergic to the stuff. DIL has made note of my red butt to tell the clinic. Or they whacked me hard. You got me. I wasn’t aware what was happening at the time.
When I came around I was mad. I don’t like the idea that I can be sedated like that. If I’m truly a danger to myself or others I guess I understand. I don’t have to like it though. These people were not my regular clinic. I’m led to understand they called over and were given instructions as to how to treat me.
Thank you for your concern, Nellie.
I’m pretty sure I’m one of many people who’ve come to know and like and worry about you.
Maybe you needed to be sedated not because you were a direct threat to yourself or others, but because they couldn’t treat otherwise. It’s disturbing to think we could be that combative without our conscious volition. My friend the WWII vet who died several years ago hallucinated while he was on morphine after a fall and tried to attack a nurse a nurse. He was appalled when he was lucid and found out what he’d done.
Not that you did anything like that. But if you were agitated, it might have been hard to treat you.
I was in a good amount of pain as well. I’m lucky DIL and my daughter were watching. I was stammering and being a jerk. I really cannot be counted on to know what’s best for me at these times.
I’m soooooo ready to get this kidney out so I can return to some sort of normalcy.
Wishing you the best.
