While I know just a trifle more than I’m letting on - and only a trifle, for quite some time there was a small, one-story building down the street from me with the only sign in the parking lot proclaiming it MOKO"S YODELING SNOUT.
Must be a small chain. There’s one in Crystal City, too.
Yes! I think that’s what it’s really called, although we always refer to it as “Discount Ollie’s” for some reason. I had no idea there were more- are they all like the store in my area? Because you really can find “good stuff cheap” there, but the vibe is definitely weird.
There are also a few religious specialty stores here. There’s St. Jude’s, which is a Catholic supply shop. It’s where you go to buy christening gowns, communion dresses, rosaries, and lawn statuary. You can even buy priests’ vestments and cassocks there. Then there is a place called Provident Bookstore, the only books it sells being King James bibles and Jesus-themed coloring books. No kidding. But they have an awesome stationary section where you can get things like quill pens, sealing wax, bottled inks, and rice paper. There’s also a Christian video store- it’s somebody’s basement with a sign out front advertising “inspiring Christian videos for sale or rent”.
There used to be a store near where I grew up (NE LA) called Pillars. Department sized store where they had close out fashions that they had bought cheap. Anyway all this stuff was stacked on tables, some of it sorted by sex, some not.
Anyway you made your choice and took it to the register in the middle guarded by ole man Pillar. He would give you a price and his wife would screech from the back of the store “What are you selling that for?” No matter what the answer she would go off on a rant.
Think Billy Crystal and Carol Kane in the Princess Bride, and you have a fair idea of what I am talking about.
I’ve heard all about Dirty Don’s here in Kansas City, but not sure where it’s located. My brother used to shop there quite often and would call me to fill me in on his findings. One time he bought a case of sardines for $5. Not sure how many cans are in a case, but who really needs more than one or two cans of sardines?
Hebner’s WWF Souvenirs & Patio Furniture just went out of business a month or two ago. Wrestling memorabilia and patio furniture - a perfect combination!
I saw a wrestling-themed barber shop in North Carolina. Belts, posters, action figures, etc decorated the place. To actually get your hair cut, you had to go into the ring where the chair was.
Near my house there’s a “24 hour” donut store that is closed more often than not. The donuts all smell like cigarettes anyway. (I never really wanted a Marlboro eclair, thanks.)
We have a convenient store with a built-in insurance agency. Just come in and pick up some eggs, milk, a TV Guide and fire protection for the house.
I’m drawing a blank on the name of the place, but there was a store advertised locally that offered horror memorabilia, comics, etc. I hunted the place down and found a run-down building at the address. Out of pure optimism, I tried the door. It opened. Inside, there was nothing but rubble and an old barber’s chair (!). Nobody to be found. The weird thing is, they kept advertising for at least a couple months after that.
Then there was the furniture store I passed by with a sign proclaiming “Antique Tables Made Daily.” (Huh?!? Does it take 20 years for them to fill your order?)
As for weird employees/owners…
There was an adult bookstore whose owner was known to us only as “Motif” (pronounced “MoTeef,” naturally). Nobody could tell whether Motif was male or female, but he…she…whatever…was quite a character. Always singing and flirting and generally weirding everyone out.
Went to a card store downtown a few years ago. When I went to the register, the guy working at the time looked like he’d had an extremely rough life. He was emaciated, wrinkled, balding in weird tufts and appeared to desperately need a good night’s sleep. Fair enough. Beside him, on the counter, was what was obviously his cat. The cat was emaciated, balding in weird spots and appeared to desperately need a good night’s sleep. I don’t know what those two had been through in their time, but it couldn’t have been pleasant.
Jinwicked said, "I always wondered how Hallmark stores stay in business. "
That would be due to my in-laws. They collectively own more than one quarter of the world’s Beanie Fucking Babies.
Ah, Ollie’s! I met him once, he really did look like the pictures on the buildings. Nice guy.
Two of the oddest places I’ve ever seen were a combination Vietnamese resteraunt and French bakery (is there a France/'Nam connection I don’t know about?). There have been about 4 resteraunts in this location, including a Roy Rogers, and I really don’t understand why they don’t last, it seems to be a prime location.
The other is a place called the Big Ugly Warehouse. Don’t know what they have in there, but the name fits. I guess calling it that saves on repairs. Come to think of it, I’ve never seen anyone parked out front, either.
This is not unusual. There is a strong connection between France and Vietnam. France was the colonial power until Diem Bien Phu in 1954. Much of Vietnamese cooking has a French influence as do their desserts. Not surprising that though I generally avoid Asian desserts, the Vietnamese do a nice job with that course.
I love my ‘Chicken Sandwiches and Smokes’ place here in town.
They make great chicken sandwiches…nothing else mind you, and have the cheapest cigarettes around as well.
There are some odd places (to me) around here, but only because I lived a pretty sheltered life. There is one restaurant I won’t go to though. The Chinese food/Hamburger Stand/Donut place, open 24/7. My husband insists that it’s brilliant–get your breakfast, lunch, and dinner all in one place! I think it’s very weird, and have avoided it for the past two years.
“Not in a row!”
There’s a place called “Guthries” in my old college town that sells chicken fingers & fries.
That’s it. Available as a plate or a sandwich. As a plate, it’s chicken fingers, fries & a slice of Texas toast. As a sandwich, just rearrange the ingrediants.
It also comes with a “secret sauce”, pretty much made by mixing ketchup & mayo together, we figured.
Place is packed all the time. No trip back to the Alma Mater would be complete without stopping through.
My favorite weird business isn’t so weird for what they sell, it’s more their advertising scheme.
In Texas on Interstate 45, between Corsicana and Ennis, there’s DW’s Adult Video. No big deal, right.
What makes it so odd is that for about 40 miles north or south of DW’s, there are billboards proclaiming “X miles to ADULT VIDEO!” or some such slogan.
Do people just drive down the interstate and think “Oh man! I always wanted my own copy of “Buttman and Throbbin”! How many more miles?”
Kinda like the porn version of Burma-Shave signs, I guess.
In Columbia, South Carolina, is (or was, it’s been awhile) a downtown landmark called “Cromer’s Peanuts” which featured (for years) live monkeys climbing around the ceiling. It sells a very weird assortment of souvenirs, snacks, general store merchandise and clown supplies. Yes, if you’re a clown, you can getcher baggy pants and green hair right at Cromer’s.
The Dick Blick Art Supply story near where I live unitl two or three years ago sold pet foods and other pet products aling with the art supplies. You’d be going along with the kneaded erasers, the pastel pencils, the airbrushes and the drawing pads, and blammo – 20 pound bags of dog food. Seemed kinda weird to me, though I recall hearing that the parent company sold dog foods via mail order.
Well, that explains everything.
bump
I could take your exact post except replace Texas Interstate 45 with the Ohio interstate. There’s the exact same “advertising scheme” 
In my hometown there was a place called “Hembrow’s Doll and Gun Shop” (or was it “Shoppe”?). I was in there once. A guy was at his workbench, doing some kind of repair on a gunbarrel in a vise, with miscellaneous firearms hangin up and on shelves around him. A look at the other half of the store revealed dolls on display in profusion. I suspect it was a husband-and-wife thing. Anyway, they went out of business two or three years back.
Another favorite of mine here is the “House of ‘Quality’ Trousers”. It’s just a business run from the back of someone’s house, of some vintage (pre-WWII I’d bet – how long has it been since you’ve heard “pants” called “trousers”?*). I imagine they’ve had the same aging customers for years, and will perish along with their clientele. I’ve never visited, but I’ve always wondered… Do they sell anything other than pants? And why is “Quality” in quotation marks?
*in the US, anyway
A pretty standard Rent-To-Own place, except for the name: “King Frog Rentals”.
King Frog?
Yup. Got the ugliest ghoddam cartoon ranid imaginable on all the trucks, stores. ads, etc.
Crown, scarlet robe trimmed in fur, the works.
Why the hell…?
You wouldn’t happen to be in the Los Angeles area, would you? Because I’ve seen some really weird “Chinese food and _____________” combos down in SoCal – Chinese and fried chicken, Chinese and donuts, Chinese and waffles. Geez, I know everyone likes Chinese food, but this is ridiculous.
Hmm, someone hasn’t been to Canada…we have these all over the place.