In some states, you are allowed to take home an animal that you hit, as compensation for the damage to your vehicle. But taking home one that someone else hit, is weird.
My brother once had a girlfriend. She was into D&D and SCA, and had a collection of knives. Whenever she didn’t get along with a roommate, she would take her knives and a whetstone into her bedroom, leaving the door open. Then she would sit on the bed, sharpening the knives, and muttering under her breath. The roommates always found other lodgings.
I had a friend that was briefly dating a guy like that. I knew it as soon as she told me he was out of town a lot because he was some sort of super-secret DEA agent. On hearing this information, I said “no he’s not, and he’s either married or has a serious girlfriend”.
She wised up fast, but she shouldn’t have fallen for it in the first place. I was going to say I’m surprised she fell for it, but I wasn’t……she wasn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer and she really wanted to be married which tended to blind her to reality.
While in the Navy, had a new roommate assigned to my room while living in the barracks. He was fresh out of boot camp and had never lived on his own. He had no idea how to do in own laundry, get up on time to get to morning quarters and making his bed despite doing it every day while in boot camp. The biggest issue was the beer vending machine down the hall. This guy would drink 6 to 8 beers a night and pass out. He would wake up at some time during the night and have to pee. Instead of going down the hall the the restroom, he would pee in random corners in our barracks room. After 3 weeks of this and many complaints, he was moved to a different room closer to the restroom. The last time I saw him he had gotten himself into trouble. Apparently a beer vending machine and an 18 year old kid should not be near each other. He started drinking beer first thing in the morning and one morning, told his commanding officer to get lost. A few months later he was booted from the Navy.
I rented my back house to my female barber back about 1980. She needed the place immediately and I still had to paint it and get it ready so I told her she could stay in our extra room for about 1 week. 3rd night she was there she crawled into bed naked with my wife and I in the middle of the night. She said she was sure that we were both sending out signals to her that we wanted to have a threesome with her. We kicked her out and changed barbers of course. Years later my now ex wife admitted she was kind of tempted to have a threesome that night but denied sending out the signals. I could tell she wasn’t really angry when it happened.
We didn’t share the same apartment, but my next door neighbor one year had three pet snakes. She had smuggled them back to the US in her pocket on return home from a research trip to somewhere in South America (she was doing graduate studies in some aspect of wildlife biology). She said they were tiny little things at the time she smuggled them, but they had grown to 2-3 feet long by the time I knew her.
She had to travel for several weeks at one point so I was charged with snake care duties in her absence. Luckily, snakes don’t need much. If I recall correctly all I had to do was check occasionally to make sure their temperature-controlled terrarium hadn’t malfunctioned (this was upstate New York in winter, so it got cold).
One day she knocked on my door to ask for my help looking for the snakes. It seems they had escaped and her theory was that they had crawled into the apartment building’s heating ducts and were probably slithering around in the walls of the building, possibly to emerge into some unsuspecting person’s apartment. She said, “you’re the only person I can tell, all the other people in the building will freak out.” (She eventually found the snakes hiding under a pile of laundry in her apartment, or something like that.)
I don’t have a visceral aversion to snakes the way some people do, so it was all okay by me. But she really adored those guys, the way some people (me, for example) would be loopy over their cats or dogs. It was strange.
I used to have roommates who would only take showers for sexual purposes. They wouldnt shower for days and generally stank up the house, but then when they had a female visitor they would immediately take an hour long shower before hand, have sex, then take another lengthy shower after (sometimes with said female). You can imagine how annoying this was when I just came home from a long day of work just wishing to take a single 10 minute shower only to have a guy who hasnt taken a shower in 3 days deciding he needs to take his hour long shower RIGHT THAT SECOND.
In college I was briefly roommates with a guy with a massive penis. I know he had a massive penis because he wouldn’t stop talking about it or showing it off. He was about 6’0" and flaccid it reached down to his mid-thigh and looked like it wouldn’t fit in a Pringles container. He would walk around the apartment completely naked after a shower which is how I saw it most of the time, except once we had a party at said apartment and a couple of women asked him if the rumors were true so he got most of the women there to crowd around as he pulled down his boxers for all to see and cheer. I never actually saw it erect though, and going from his own stories it didn’t actually get him laid all that much.
He wound up moving out and shacking up with a much older woman in a nearby house, obviously in some sort of sugar mama relationship. Ironically much later I wound up dating a woman who had dated him shortly before he became my roommate. Apparently the sex was bad, not because of the size but because of climax control problems, supposedly.
Not my roommate but the girl who lived in the apartment above me my senior year of college. She lived alone in the two bedroom apartment. Her parents supported her. She had a mattress in one bedroom and no other furniture. What she did have was probably a thousand paperback romance novels stacked against the walls in the living room. I never saw her eat anything except Fruit Loops out of the box.
Oh gosh, all you doubters!!! He was the one with the ability to stop the president from starting a nuclear war!!! The tracking device injection site got infected because…I forgot, but it was very important and secret.
I could tell he spent all day, every day on his TRS80 because of the distinctive smell of old sweat and dirty socks.
He went on to learn that LSD was the best thing ever, got arrested for something drug related, did some jail time and some rehab time. He’s now teaching something at a high school in California.
Craziest lies someone else you know legitimately wanted you to believe would be a good thread as well.
I had a roommate who legitimately swore the reason why the PC in my room suddenly had a virus in it wasn’t because he snuck into my room while I was at work to use the PC and stupidly gave it a virus. No he claimed while my computer was turned off an internet hacker actually did all of that somehow. And the reason he knew that was said internet hacker called our apartment and threatened him telling him to take the blame for it or else.
I had this housemate while living in New York. This was shortly after we both graduated from college and were unemployed, looking for jobs. We both got jobs in Virginia - but didn’t tell each other that. And we separately moved out, weeks apart.
Months later, I’m visiting my old school in Virginia (I had attended college there, but transferred to a NY College) and - what?..who do I see, but none other than my NY housemate, there?
I was a bit late moving into a dorm, being old enough to drink. The school paired me up with another guy, my same age but further along, academically. He had this old carpet in the center of the room that was stained from an earlier Saint Patrick’s day binge had him pass out on the floor and vomit. The carpet was cleaned but the green dye from the beer left the indelible stain. I heard this story told countless times, he was really proud of it.
We were pretty good pals and had some really fun times (He wound up giving me a sobbing “You’re the best roommate I ever had, I love you man!” speech). He was into PINE which I understand was an early email & chat (?) framework and would stay up late messaging back and forth with others. I finally asked him if he could type a little more quietly since it was loud in our 10x20 foot room (approx). He juked me by installing a plugin that played old typewriter sounds through the speakers in time with the keyboard. I let it go for like an hour and then probably threatened him with bodily harm to make it turn off. All in good fun, though.
