So here I am, watching a movie and browsing the boards, when I hear someone pulling on my door handle. Is my roommate back in town early? Perhaps one of my friends is goofing off? As it turns out, no. I open the door and am greeted by the rather unexpected sight of a very intoxicated girl sitting on the floor with her underwear around her ankles, pissing on the carpet in front of my door.
“What the hell are you doing?” I ask.
“Mumblemumblemumble,” she says.
“Are you okay?”
“Uh-huh.”
“You realize that you just took a piss in front of my room, don’t you?”
“It’s fine,” she reassures me before getting up and wandering off.
I know it would sound hilarious to anyone else, but there is a possibility she may have been raped? If she had her underwear around her ankles and she was drunk just maybe. It could just be that she was drunk and took off all her clothes or it was a prank by her friends that took her clothes off.
Huh? She didn’t have her clothes off just down around her ankles. Its been my experience that no matter how drunk you are you go somewhere and pee like you normally would. However like the example in the OP often times you go somewhere you normally wouldn’t.
The thought had crossed my mind. My first thought (well, after “what the fuck?”) was that I should see about getting public safety to escort her home; the guys’ floor didn’t seem like the best place for her to drunkenly wander with no pants. Public safety showed up with an EMT (they were worried about alcohol poisoning), but by the time they got to the dorm she had already made her way into someone’s room and found some shorts to put on. She was coherent enough to come to the door and tell them that she felt okay, so they decided to leave it at that. The eagerness with which public safety dropped the issue bothers me, but I suppose there wasn’t much more they could do.
I’ll just have to wait 'til tomorrow to see how everything pans out. Hopefully it will turn out to be nothing more than an embarrassing moment for her and a bizarre anecdote for me. If it turns out to be more serious than that, I’m probably going to feel like a real asshole for putting it in a humorous light here.
As someone who lives and works in the building, I am astounded by this. (It’s the Honors dorm!) I saw the report this morning and was sure it was somehow incorrect-- a girl peeing in front of a guy’s room? Surely not. And not Catalyst’s room!? But apparently…yes. Definitely a crazy college story worth keeping.
…upon a time, a lone drunken dormie, abandoned by his fellows, staggered from quiet room and went to the bathroom to pee. Proud that he accomplished this without peeing his bed, he said nothing when he was told the next day that someone had pissed in the dryer…
Last Friday my dorm threw a party (we’re self-governing, so we get away with that.) Each floor has a communal bathroom consisting of 7 stalls for pooping and one lonely little buddy on the end without a door clearly designated for urination. Well last Friday, I saw some guy I had never seen in my life sitting down on the pisser, pants down around his ankles, vomiting onto his crotch, aiming for what I hope was the toilet between his legs.
After I got over my initial disgust/fit of laughter, I asked him why he was sitting on the pisser. He jolted to life, looked around, confused like a captive animal released into the wilderness, and looked at me with a face of shame and self-loathing. He threw on some pants, said “I don’t know…where are my pants?” Threw on his clothes, and left without saying another word.
I can’t wait to get out of high school and go on to college. Not only does this sound fun (and funny), but high school sucks. I mean, peeing in front of your dorm room, but at least no one took a steaming crap in one of the hallways.
(yes, this happened at my high school.)
So am I, but the main reason I want to get out of high school and go to university is to get away from my parents. I’ll be dancing on a mountaintop screaming, “Halleujah, Jesus!” the day I move into my university dorm.
You know when you were little and got into a fight with your parents and said “When I grow up I’m going to do anything I want! I’ll stay up late and eat ice cream for dinner and watch the movies I want to and I won’t care what you tell me to do!”?
Welcome to college, kid. Every six year old dreams of this place.
I found the dorms to be great fun as a freshman and completely awful as a sophomore. (And I missed my mommy. Despite looking at schools in Germany because that might have been far enough away according to 17 year old me.)
Last year at Halloween, the girls’ floor had a door decorating contest. My suitemates and I were sure we were going to win–we turned our door into a 3D coffin, complete with skeleton inside and a pressure-rigged thing that played “Time Warp” when the coffin was opened.
And then a highly intoxicated young man pushed the wrong button in the elevator the day before judging, and we heard, “What’s all this shit on my door? Who put this here?” rip, crash
Oh, the stories I have. My hallmate practicing his golf drive in the hallway. No, not with golf balls, with beer bottles. My roommate, who was Kenyan, getting drunk for the first time and almost getting into a fight with the Dean of Students (who lived in the same building). The vomit puddles that would appear in assorted places, indoors and out, on various nights of the week. They were pretty much a given on the weekend, which started on Wedensday nights. Can ya tell that I went to party-school? The poor, poor, cleaning people.
And yeah…I’m one of those people who has a piss story. It seems that one night I got blotto, as was often the case, and passed out in a friend’s room. Bleary-eyed and hung over the next morning, he confronted me. According to him, during the night I “woke up” and proceeded to use his wall, in particular, the electrical outlet sitting right above his pile of laundary, as a urinal. I don’t have any recollection of it; I just took his word for it, as he was pissed-off (hah!) enough that I don’t think he was kidding.
Here’s the thing – it wasn’t really all that. Vile, disgusting, loud, obnoxious living arrangements. In fact, after one year of it, I was glad to get the hell out of the dorms and you couldn’t pay me to go back. I think a friend of mine put it best: “If I ran into myself as I was then, I’d have a moral obligation to kick my own ass.” But, if that’s what you’re looking for, you’ll most likely be able to find it. If not, best of luck avoiding it.
We occaisonally get crap like this in the military dorms here. I tell you what, it loses some of its charm when it’s followed by mass punishment. Especially when it turns out that the perps didn’t even live in your dorm. At least they caught 'em.
My sister’s sophomore year here at the University of Iowa, she got her dorm roommate through a lottery system.
The first night they lived together, the girl came back from a party really, really drunk, and was so noisy that she woke my sister up. Sis didn’t go back to sleep because she was afraid the girl would vomit and asphyxiate. Instead, Sis lay awake in her bed and watched her new roomie for awhile.
Roomie flopped down on the bed, lay there moaning for awhile, then got up to pee. Before my sister could get down from her loft to stop her, Roomie walked over to her desk, pulled down her pants, and sat down on her brand-new laptop computer…and pissed on it. Laptop destroyed. Sis managed to get her down to the women’s bathrooms for the puke-fest that followed.
The room smelled like piss for weeks (it was August, very hot, no air conditioning). Turns out the laptop was a nice one and Roomie’s parents paid about $3000 for it. I guess they didn’t buy the requisite insurance or care plan, because Roomie did her assignments in the communal computer lab for the rest of the year.