No ill effects, go figure.
Damned dog is Keith Richards and Shane MacGowan rolled into one! 
We didn’t know cats could do this until recently. You may have heard that you can never sneak up on a cat - this is, in fact, false.
We had this halloween candy-bag with a big plastic Orc head - you were supposed to put candy into its open mouth. It had brightly-painted yellow pointy teeth and yellow eyes. We found out pretty soon that the cat HATED this thing so we of course had to bring it out with some regularity.
The cat was sleeping on top of me one day while I was sitting in the recliner and watching TV. My sister grabs the head and sneaks up very quietly. She gets the head right up near the cat’s face and suddenly yells “RARRRR!!!”
POOF. It was like the cat exploded. I felt her dart away, but all I saw was a cloud of black fur and then, after a moment, the cat sitting about five feet away looking rumpled and giving us the Kitty Look of Death. It’d never happened before or since.
On the subject of What Dogs Eat … we had a golden retriever who had “interesting” eating habits. Her favorite food was used Kleenex. She would stalk you for that dirty Kleenex. She also liked to just grab and eat Kleenex directly from the carton. She also managed to live through eating:
- a box of Crayons
- a Barbie dress and various other toys
- a pound bag of Hershey’s Kisses, including bag and foil wrappers(we hadn’t realized she’d eaten it until it came out the other end!)
I don’t know what it was that my lab ate the other day, but the results mixed in with his output in the yard are bright purple. As usual, he had no ill effects. He’s eaten an entire box of erasers, and in the gross-out moment of the century, he once happily drank from the gutters in the French Quarter. :eek:
If they saved the bulb, that’d be one hell of a ‘dirty trick’… to replace someone’s lamp bulb with that one… :eek:
My dog’s poo was kind of blueish greenish the other day from eating several green “vegetable” flavored dog biscuits. Ew.
My Black Lab ate a bath mat and loved eating not only Kleenex, but wool socks. My blind Bearded Collie used to raid my dad’s file cabinet for single sheets he could slip out of folders.
When my mom was working at a vet office she had a woman bring in her cat for autopsy. The cat had died and she wanted to know what from. Fine. Thy did the autopsy.
Then the woman called back. She wanted to see the cat one last time and have an open-casket for it. It was explained the animal had been autopsied. She didn’t care.
My mom said she will never forget the vet sewing the frozen cat bits back together, trying to make a cat out of it.
Poysyn’s story reminds me of another one. One of our seldom-seen patients had an older cat that looked like it was dying, so they brought it in it’s cat-bed. On the way to the clinic, the cat died, curled up peacefully in it’s bed. They left the dead cat with us to deal with. Well, we were really busy that day and set the dead cat (still in it’s basket) on the x-ray table in the back to deal with as soon as we could get to it.
This vet clinic was one of a national chain that had CEOs and whatnot, and about an hour after the dead cat was dropped off, one of the company big wigs comes in to check up on things. He sees the apparently sleeping (and now stiff as a board) cat on the table and starts petting it before realizing it was dead. Rather embarrassing, and funnier if you were there, I suppose.
When I worked at a vet clinic we had a great mascot for a while - a lamb we named Lambourghini. He used to love chasing us and then head butting our fists. It was great fun!
Another vet in the city, now gone out of business (thank goodness) used to use their own “cocktail” to put animals to sleep. Sometimes it didn’t quite take. One such case was a cat, that later when the vet went take something from the freezer the poor animal leaped out, howling and wrapped in plastic at the guy.
Serves him right.
When my dog was a puppy still, probably about 6 months, she ate a flea collar. We’d gone out to run some errands or whatnot and left her in her crate. When we came home, all that remained was a few shreds of the pesticide-treated collar and the buckle, with gnaw marks on it. (She never seemed to experience any unfortunate side effects from this).
She also had a bizarre fondness for violin rosin: if my sister or I left ours anywhere within her reach she would work unrelentingly at knocking it onto the floor, pawing it out of the box, and eat it.
Most puppies chew things - anyone who’s raised a dog can tell you that at a certain age, a good taste is just a bonus, but puppies’ll chew anything. My girl took that a bit further: She didn’t chew, she ate. In addition to violin rosin and a flea collar, I remember her consuming: Nearly an entire roll of paper towels, a doggie bed full of ceder chips, a tube of hand lotion, several pillows and blankets, countless things from the dirty laundry hamper (undergarments and socks being her favorite), several small rocks, ants ("dog, why are you licking that anthill?), a disused printer cable, and my mother’s flower garden. Needless to say, we ended up putting our vet on speed dial. “Hi, my dog just ate ______” became a standard way to start a phone conversation.
Being rather territorial (by which I mean, if you enter her turf you better come bringing treats and belly rubs or she’ll keep yapping at you), she once took offense to a wasp’s nest by our mailbox. You can probably predict how that worked out (not well for her; emergency trip to the vet, shots right there in the waiting room because her snout was as large as her head and she could hardly breathe). Had it not been so terrifying it could have been funny.
When the dog and cat were young, I put flea collars on them one day, and went to work. when I came back, both were naked, and I couldn’t find either collar. I assume the dog ate them.
Maggie the Wonderbeagle has also eaten/shredded:
1 Mountain Dew can
1 ottoman
2 Bibles(Living Bible translation)
1 watch
2 rocks
200 assorted stuffed animals
1 branch from a Birch tree
18 Christmas ornaments
1 pair of prescription eyeglasses
She is still alive, and reasonably healthy at 11
One that didn’t make it into the Vet’s office:
I once had a long haired cat named Wally who was proned to the occasional hairball. We would comb him and cut off any hairballs that put up a fight. Life was simple.
Then one day, we discover that Wally has a hairball swinging from his ass. Yes, suspended like a pendulum and swinging to and fro as he walked.
We tried to ignore the butt dangler, hoping it would finally fly off from extreme oscillatory motion if Wally got to running fast enough. But it seemed as if it were never going to happen. It was like a clacker without a mate, swinging, spinning, but never able to free itsself from its string.
After days of watching and waiting and wondering why this hairball has such weight that it dangles and swings, we decided to finally cut the cord and free Wally of the ball and chain attached to his rectal region. When it plonked to the floor, we knew this was more than the average hairball. We also knew there would be no closure until we discovered the contents of the ass plumb.
We prepared ourselves for the worst, after all, it was hanging from a cat’s ass. What we found inside was instead an amusing and delightful reminder of holidays gone by. Wally had been sporting a hair covered, pastel colored, speckled, candy-coated, malt ball Easter egg. How it got there, covered in hair and suspended by a 3" rope of cat hair, we will never know. But Wally was quite pleased to be rid of it.
We were never able to bring ourselves to purchase the malt ball eggs again. They seemed to have lost their appeal somehow.
I guess it would have really gotten the folks whipering if he’d brought in his Bull. 
Camping one summer, I used my first aid kit to bandage a schnauzer who’d stolen and devoured a hash brownie at the neighbouring camp site. The owners then rushed the dog to the vet for staples, where they confessed that the dog had eaten the borwnie and “would it be okay?”
Apparently the schnauzer suffered no ill effects from the brownie, other than the fact that the stoned pooch happily ran full tilt into the open door of a parked car. Hence the cut requiring staples.
Please! I’m crying with laughter here.
Our miniature poodle emptied a bowl of chocolate kisses once. Fortunately she only ate one or two and stashed the rest around the house for later. It must have taken her all afternoon—my mom was finding them for weeks afterwards.
We also had a pound of fudge disappear, foil wrapper and all, during the tenure of a different poodle. No ill effects ensued. Personally, I think my sister-in-law took it and blamed it on the dog. She would.
My pit mix ate her tick collar one time. I noticed something amiss when she started stumbling around, usually she was quite active but without the stumbling. I had to take her in to work and I was a terrible owner. “You know, she’s actually quite calm like this do we have to induce vomiting?”. Yes. “Okay, she’s thrown up the rest of the collar, do we really need to give her all that nasty activated charcoal?” Yes. “Well, at least she’s still subdued, what do you mean you’re going to give her the reversal agent? Darnit, I kind of like her like this. Hey, maybe I should leave her here tonight for you guys to watch?” No.
I knew she needed all that stuff and I was sort of joking but I wasn’t looking forward to cleaning up vomit and giving her activated charcoal - she was my dog so I had to help - and then dealing with her getting rambunctious again once the toxin was reversed. I wanted a night off both from work and a hyper dog.
Thank God, I thought it was only my retarded dog that did this.
Bonnie chewed: my mother’s Hush Puppies (shoes), A Dr. Pepper can, a window screen, a board off of the house, and her entire dog house. She tried to eat a turtle, but the turtle wouldn’t cooperate. 
You must share more about this turtle. I’m picturing a dog trying to give chase, as they’re prone to do to squirrels and rabbits and other rodent-y things. I can’t imagine how a turtle would…survive.
Oh, and my dog also once tried really impressively hard to climb a tree after a squirrel. Again - predictable results.
I don’t know how she got the turtle, I went outside for some reason, and saw her gnawing on something. I saw it was a turtle, took it away from her, and set it free. It was bloody, but unbowed and went on its merry way.
The turtle may have walked up while the dog was sleep-uh I mean, guarding the house, and became a chew toy.
Sounds like a scene from Over the Hedge.
Back on the old AOL SDMB, one of the posters told of how his dog had eaten some batteries. Dog came out fine. The batteries came out, too, but I’m not sure about their condition. The dog’s closest call, however, was when Dog ate Dad’s PhD thesis. In the days before computers, and Dad had no copies of the thesis. Dad was not thrilled with Dog.
When I was growing up, we had a dog that liked to eat roses. My mother was less than thrilled with this, as she appreciated the roses on the bushes.