When I was a young kid in the 1960s, I observed that the slowest drivers on the road were old folks.
I quite logically assumed the reason was: back when they first learned to drive, those Model Ts couldn’t go very fast, so it became their lifelong habit to drive slow.
Did you ever go? And what was your reaction?
-Waneman
Racinchikki, when I get my big book contract, I’m going to send you a check so you can go.
When I was a very little kid, I believed that insane evil clowns were out to get me in the dark of night.
I had clown issues too. It’s was bad enough that my room was decorated with clowns, but my pediatrician’s office was too. There’s nothing worse than going to get a shot in a place with clowns. It freaks me out just thinking about it.
Well, this isn’t mine, but a friend of mine back in high school didn’t believe that the Billy Goat Tavern here in Chicago is a real place. He thought the “cheezeborger cheezeborger” thing on the old “Saturday Night Live” was wholly made up. When I told him, apropos of nothing, that I had eaten at the Billy Goat, he looked at me with pity and told me in the manner of a parent gently correcting their child that there was no such place, it was only a skit on television. He was exceedingly surprised when I took him there the next time we were downtown. He still wasn’t convinced (!) and it took considerable evidence and argument to prove to him that the restaurant had been there for decades and wasn’t built after the SNL skit to capitalize on it.
I used to believe that nobody lived in New York City. It was just a city with a lot of big buildings that people <b>went</b> to, but no one lived there in the city. This belief is pretty hazy to me now, as I cannot remember the specifics.
Lying in bed at night, I used to believe that if I put an arm or leg over the edge of the bed, monsters would grab me and pull me under.
Drat. My code got messed up. Been doing regular HTML too much lately.
When I was a child, I thought that when girls grew up they’d be walking around minding their own business and become spontaneously pregnant. I just couldnt’ figure out why it only happened after they were married.
I also looked all over the lakes for white hats (white caps!)
I’m told I asked my mother where the “next world” was because my sister told me if I didn’t leave her alone she was going to slap me into it. I was a literal minded child.
haha, i used to think that too! i’d try to make my mom and dad kiss each other so i could have a brother or sister (now that i think of it, how utterly embarrassing…)
O yes, and i used to think that the things in books really did happen, even if it was obviously in the future (like sci-fi). i just figured that one of the people in the books came back in a time machine and told the author.
and i used to think sugar was spelled “shuger”. it’s a mistake that pops up in my writing sometimes. :rolleyes:
that’s all i can think of for now…
I still insist on pronouncing it like that.
I used to believe that if you rode in an airplane–you would go high enough to see Heaven outside the window.
[I was 14 before I got into an airplane for the first time. I’m still very nervous about flying.]
I was a bright kid in school. Not very nice–but bright. I had an abstract enough mind to know a lot of things before most of my peers did. I knew how sperm and egg combined to make a zygote. I knew that Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy didn’t exist…I how viruses and antibiotics worked…
But for the life of me–I did not understand -sex-. 
My parents never gave me ‘the talk’. And as much speculation as I had about it–I never understood how intercourse actually happened until the first time I actually had an orgasm well into my 9th grade.
[isn’t it weird how after the first time your mind is blown by the endorphin rush–sex suddenly makes sense?]
-Ashley
You mean they’re not?
In addition to the libs and ozzes, I thought “Net. Wt.” was pronounced “Nitwit.” I never understood why this was written on everything in the store, but I liked it.
Everybody with the same last name was related. Neil Armstrong was Louis Armstrong’s cousin. I think it helped that I’d never met anyone with the same last name as me who wasn’t in my immediate family (still haven’t).
Babe Ruth was black. I have no idea why I thought this. Neil Armstrong was also black, but that made sense because he was related to Louis.
Foreign languages were just codes. If you rearranged the letters of an English word in the right way, it’d be French. Rearrange them another way, and you have Spanish. I was really annoyed when my parents wouldn’t tell me the code so I could speak French.
And to this day, I’m still nervous about using the term “Jews”.
–sublight.
I used to believe that the number/amount of clouds in the world never changed - they just got blown around by the wind, sometimes bringing them to us, sometimes away from us. But clouds being formed, dissipating…get away from me with your crazy talk.
I also used to think Dukes of Hazard was an excellent show… :o
I believed that my father could eat lightbulbs. I remember walking by his bedroom door one night, and I heard him tell Mom, “Honey, turn out that lightbulb, I wanna eat that thing.”
I used to think that when males were young they had just ONE penis, and as they grew up, they would grow more penises. I thought this because I remember seeing the statue of David and being very modest myself, could only look at it in very quick glances – you know, I never really studied the anatomy. I guess the penis/testicle combination looked to me, in my quick way of looking at it, like it was a little grouping of penises.
I also thought “rock candy” was really rocks that people would find on the ground that happened to be candy. I was always sure that one day I too would actually find rock candy lying around. Can’t tell you how many rocks I put in my mouth thinking I had finally found some “rock candy.”
This one is embarrassing… I have to preface this with the fact that I was nn arts major in college and didn’t take even one business, accounting or economics course. Well, when the time came to start paying my student loan off, and I was looking at the paperwork in the presence of the bank clerk at the bank where I had my loan, I noticed that I was lent $7,500, but gee this document says I have to pay back $10,000. Why, I kept asking the clerk do I have to pay back more than I borrowed???
When I read your post, I saw it, and in my mind it was “Libs”. I realized in a meeting last week(only because someone pointed it out) that I hesitate every time I see the abbreviation. I have to think about the abbreviation, and translate it in my mind.
I did the exact same thing when I was about 4 or so. I thought the week had 9 days; a seven day week and a two day weekend.
~Kittie
I thought this too! When I was 7, my 19-yr-old sister had a baby, and I overheard my 16-yr old sister tell my mom that she thought the other sister had been stupid to get pregnant. I charged right in, saying “Well, she couldn’t help it!” I thought you just woke up pregnant one day, like you woke up with a sore throat or the flu.
On the same note, I thought that a woman had to have an operation to get the baby out of her. No idea why, but when my mom went to the hospital for an operation (getting her tubes tied, I believe), I couldn’t understand where my little brother or sister was.
I believed that rubber-band airplanes could be controlled, to go where you wanted. I thought when they went on the roof I was just doing it wrong.