Okay, this is truly mundane and pointless, but interesting.
I just woke up from a nap. Yes, I know it’s weird to take naps in the middle of the night but whatever. The first thing I did was look at the clock and thought I was late for work. Then I realised it was dark (“Wha…? Is it raining aga–oh”).
So here it is:
*It started out at some sort of outdoor affair in the evening. I was hanging out with some friends. We noticed a huge blinking sign off in the hills. Somebody said it was a sign that anyone could program to say whatever they wanted, if they could get to it. So we all piled into a Chevy Bronco and drove cross-country into the hills.
When we got there, I programmed the sign to say, “You can go fuck yourself, Mr. Cheney, with a 13-inch dildo made out of the byproducts of Iraqi oil.” Then we left. Since there was no room to turn around, we had to back down the mountain.
Suddenly, as we were backing down, it was daylight, and everything was claymation. Things even had the squashy lumps and fingerprints from crappy claymation. As we went along, we noticed some turtle footprints along the embankment. We backed further, and came upon a pond. A turtle named Harold greeted us and asked for a ride.
“Sure,” we said. The driver started driving back up to where the turtle footprints were but we reminded him that it would take forever for Harold to meet us there. So we backed back to the pond, at which point I woke up.*
I guess it’s time to lay off the midnight naps.