Weirdest names you've ever heard

Sometimes, parents can give their kids the most ridiculous names.

My mom was on jury duty, and the defendant’s name was Next.

Interesting. In some languages, the words for “second” (as in, “one after first”) and for “next” are the same. (English has traces of this — “sequence”…).

And, in some cultures, children are often named for their birth order.

I wonder if this person’s parents are from such a culture, and attempted to translate.

I knew a kid named Tiger as a kid and his older sister was named Beaver. Yes, they named a girl Beaver. She ended up getting married to a guy named Catfish.

These were Not nicknames.

We have a student named O.G.

It stands for “original gangster”, though the full name is just “O.G.”

Last name “Wiz”?

Some from 50+ years ago…

As a kid, I remember we all had to help my dad with some deadline, it involved each of us paging through giant printouts of the local census rolls.

Dad got impatient with us stopping and saying funny names out loud (I remember my little sister: “Theodore Baer, wonder if he goes by Teddy?”).

So we were all silent, trying to be efficient and self-controlled, when my mom blurted out “Kilbourn Klapsaddle!”

To this day, whenever everyone has to be quiet, someone will yell that out.

And we grew up with stories of the names of babies my grandpa helped deliver, like Plancenta (“I heard the nurses talking about someone with that name, and it sounded so pretty”).

NBA assistant coach God Shamgod

My mother’s best friend was Oliva Sutton.

Had a patient named Abcde.

Oh, we keep a whole list of them at work. :grin:

One of the best entries was “Attila Hun”. Not kidding. The only thing that would have made it better would have been a middle initial of “T”.

I once rented a house from a guy named “Hugh G. Cox.”

I know a guy named “Snowflake”. I don’t know the origin of the name, and suspect he picked it as an adult, and it’s not the name his parents gave him. I also know a guy who goes by “Kelly Shortandqueer”. I don’t think that’s his legal last name, but I haven’t asked.

  • once did the service records for a military reserves unit I was a member of. One gal must have had parents that were disappointed she was not a boy. She was Floydene Earlene.

That kind of reminds me of a history teacher I had in middle school. You know how when you’re in school you call your teachers Mr./Ms. Lastname, but you generally know what their first names are, if only because their full first and last name is on a nameplate on their desk, or at least listed in the yearbook? Well this teacher only went by his first and middle initial – O.C. and his last name. In the yearbook he was just O.C. Lastname. None of the students knew what those initials stood for. If the other teachers knew, they didn’t tell us. To this day I don’t know what his actual name was.

But as far as I know O.C. wasn’t literally his name. I’m pretty sure he had an actual name that those initials stood for; he just wouldn’t tell us what it was.

I worked with somebody named Royal Oyster the 3rd for a little while.

Joey jo jo jr. Shabbadu

Frank Zappa’s children have some unusual names.

In January I met a government contractor on Shemya Island whose name was Santa Claus. I thought he was joking. He showed me his CAC card. Yep, his name was Santa Claus.

Or maybe just parents who wanted their son to always be first in line.

I once knew a woman whose nickname was “Cat”. She married a guy whose surname was “Fudge”.

My employer once rented to a guy whose legal name was “The Magical Poof”.

I once knew a young woman named Sienna Brown. Her parents were artists, I believe.