Ack! Poop. Nevermind, you moved it yourself.
Oh, and to get this back on subject, remember that if a mod closes a thread of yours, it’s probably for a good reason. Likewise, they may be a bit harsh about it. But don’t get all fussy about it, it’s just their way.
[Nature documentary]
The Moderator is a bitter species…
[/ND]
Sorry about the hijack Jester. You’re still my favorite little fucknugget puss-sucking dickweasel.
BTW - Newbies, try not to call someone a “little fucknugget puss-sucking dickweasel” unless you’re sure they won’t take you seriously. Luckily, I have a reputation of not being taken seriously, so I think I’m ok.
Also, do not use the word “retarded.” Please. The English language is certainly big enough that you can come up for a synonym for either of those two words.
[hijack]
As for Jester’s “Don’t make me kill you” line, I’d better stop targeting him in the 4th Grade Insults thread! 
[/hijack]
Jester, this nails it. I’m adopting you as my SDMB little brother-I’ve always wanted a brother.
Anyhoo, people, if the teeny trends disturb you, do NOT go to http://www.terrificchick.com
Mmmmmmm. Want that in seconds, months, or millenia?
Okay well, not that long. Let me see. One year, two months and four days. Sept of 2002. It’s really not too far away. Wow I got goosebumps. In a little over a year I’m gonna be grown up. Oh god, I think I need to sit down. Alright, someone get the smelling salts…
«claps for Jester»
As a Doper who’s not old enough to drive, much less get drunk past curfew in a voting booth, I applaud you. I’m forever suprised that this message board holds together with the whole shebang of age groups, and how unexpectedly intelligent my fellow young’uns can be at times. My little nugget of wisdom goes as such: be VERY careful about what topics you post about, where you post them, and how you word them. I don’t even click on a thread whose title shows poor conventions, and unless I’m in the Pit, I’m hesitant to enter a thread where the title consists of several unpleasantly-connoted four-letter words.
Be nice. Say ‘please’, and ‘thank you’. Don’t call people names. In other words, act here as you would in a formal setting (or at least how I would act in a formal setting). Remember what your parents drilled into you about manners? Well, they work here very well to make people like you.
Don’t be intimidated by other’s post counts. They do carry weight here, but if you’re sufficiently brilliant in your posts, it doesn’t matter. Most of us will welcome you warmly if you don’t sound like a trouble-maker.
That said, I’ll shut up.
Hey Jester, buddy, I had no idea! I know a doctor who can fix that for you. Just a quick shot and it’ll clear right up.
**
This line just cracks me up as not very long ago in MPSIMS I posted about spinning my penis like a propellor. No wonder the President hasn’t invited back to another White House dinner…
**
Yes, I recently had the chip implant removed, so now they can no longer hear my thoughts. The tin foil hat helps a lot though if you can’t find the chip to remove it.
**
Well I don’t know how much weight I carry (ok, I’m about 225 lbs, but I’m working it off!) but remember you don’t have to do anything I say. I can only offer suggestions and advice about behavior on this board. I may have 3000+ posts, but I started out with 0 like anyone else and in the end post count doesn’t make my posts any more important, relevant, or better than yours. The people who really carry weight around here are the mods and admins (figuratively speaking of course, as I’m of the belief that all the mods and admins are perfect physical specimens to be admired).
Excuse me now while I go wipe this brown stuff off my nose.
Don’t show up and just say ‘booger’. ‘Booger’ is Mercutio’s word.
Learn how to use an apostrophe, for the love of Cecil!
Learn the coding. You’ll look like a numpty if you don’t. I, in particular, am only a semi-numpty.
Don’t post things like “I am sofa king we todd did.”
Don’t slag people just for the sake of it. We don’t like that.
It never hurts to help, to be nice, or to keep your mouth shut and fingers still if you have nothing helpful to add to a thread.
And finally, don’t ever believe anything Crunchy Frog says. He’s really a petite Brazilian woman working as a neurosurgeon in Chicken, Alaska.
Dammit, Ginger! For the last time, I am not Brazilian! I’m Bolivian! Bolivian!
Jester,
Every single point that you list has been repeatedly broken by both many of this board’s most ‘prominent’ posters and by many new non-teenage members (including both you and me). Accordingly, your warning should be directed towards not only new teenage posters, but to everyone who uses this message board, regardless of their age or length of time they’ve been here.
However, I agree with every point on your list. This board would be a much more enjoyable place if everyone was able to follow these simple rules.
That said, it’s nice to see a fellow teenager who can string together a coherent sentence. I know that there are more out there; let’s just hope they come out.
Studi
‘Oh Massa, Massa, don’t kill me!’
The teenage years are so disillusioning.
My housemates would like to thank you for making me laugh hard enough to wake them up. Both of you. Bastards!
Esprix
Yeah, let’s - my recruitment numbers are low this month.
Esprix
Good idea for a thread.
To see just a few of the mistakes that Jester described, check out this board:
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=78182
This kid drove me to drink. I lost my job, drowned my cats, and I’m now living on the street drinking my own urine. And not that good morning urine, either, but ALL of my urine.
And that was just FIVE DAYS AGO.
Good idea, Jester. Let’s see if anyone gives a care.
damn shit fuck piss tit whore frumundama-cheese
Manda JO:
I admit it! I was wrong! Additionally, I’m sorry. My comments were totally out of line. Forgive me?
[sub]cajones here I come.[/sub]
So Jester is now all grown up
“-Walt”
now at the end of his posts, is he?
This is the same… what is today’s approved term, little fucknugget puss-sucking dickweasel?.. who is too much the wienie to lie to his parents, hop in the JesterMobile, and make it to the Halloween Dopefest in Columbus?
Oh, your “keep a dictionary nearby” tidbit… it doen’t help. Well, it doesn’t help me.
-Rue.
I’m a teenage doper. I’m also relatively new (been here four months, not that you’d know from the post count). Would you say I exhibit the behaviour shown in the OP?
If so, I have to ask what kind of high standards are expected here for teenagers. Must one have perfect grammar and spelling until they reach the magic age of 18, in which it becomes excusable? I don’t see how age has anything to do with this - nor being a newbie. There are plenty of regulars here that I’d recommend one or two grammar lessons to, and plenty of newbies that write prose beautifully.
I know I’m being annoyingly defensive here, but why is it that you feel you can attack teenagers and newbies since you are neither?
Actually if your reading skills were up to the level of your punctuation skills, you’d have seen that Jester is a teenager.
And not being a newbie means that he’s been here long enough to witness the kind of low-grade identikit troll that we get round these parts as regularly as rain in July in England. His description fits perfectly a whole class of posters that can be very irritating and he’s just pre-empting it.
If the shoe doesn’t fit then feel free not to wear it. There was never the remotest indication that Jester was making any kind of broad generalisation.
pan