Actually, I don’t think you’ve captured the problem quite squarely. It isn’t putting aside baggage.
The problem is that all too many people in these threads react before thinking about whether they have all of the facts. Folks give their immediate knee-jerk reaction, without wondering if there is more to the story, and if so not assuming the worst.
Here, Anita posted a story in a way that I immediately saw was a humorous crafting of part of the facts. More important, it should be obvious to anyone reading that there is more going on here. At this point, people should stop for a brief second and ask themselves “what am I missing?”
Several people, probably without thinking, simply assumed that Anita had just up and departed, leaving her son high and dry. Indeed, that’s the conclusion that the initial story fragment was intended to leave. But with just a moment’s consideration, anyone should realize that there are a lot more possibilities (including the actual situation here).
None of this, however, stopped people from reacting (and not asking questions) when presented with a partial story. More problematically, people immediately assumed the worst, and reacted accordingly.
Folks, we’re fighting ignorance here. You have to be part of the effort. If you see a post with less than all of the facts, don’t respond in ignorance.
Well I think all those angry types were just channeling my mum. Looks like (BOO HISS) me and the child may have to plant ourselves at Grandmas for a couple of months.
Didn’t read the thread much, didja? Several of us asked repeatedly for her to clarify with details, and she coyly shrugged us off.
And, come on, Oxy, hon. If someone posted a “People Who Get Big Ol’ Tattoos On Their Legs Are Idiots” thread, wouldn’t you be tempted to tell them where to get off? I’ve been posting here less because my life is spinning into a vortex; I’m not blaming the Board. It’s the same as it’s been for the past five years or so.
None of those cleared up the main question: Anita did, toward the bottom of the first page, and most of us said, “Oh, OK, then.” I really don’t see why this non-issue has become a huge deal.
Eve, m’love, this is the Pit. Of course we’re not discussing the sensible people that post rationally (and, funny enough, you fall into that category in this instance). We’re talking about the folks that are flying off the handle.
Thanks for clarifying that, Minnie – as the person who used that phrase, I was just about to post the same thing.
I know a five-year-old who is fond of telling you things like “My brother just fell off his bike,” and then when you express concern, he says “Just kidding!” To him, it is the height of wit. To me it’s, well, a childish and inappropriate attempt at “humor.”
Kind of like the OP of the thread in question. It may have been a joke, but IMHO it was ill thought out and poorly executed, and, even once one knows the facts, not terribly funny either.
I think that thread also points out another thing to keep in mind (other than that you shouldn’t bring your own baggage into threads). Some of the people in the other thread were saying things to the effect of, “I know the OP…she’s a great person. She’d never do anything bad the way you’re assuming.” And while I’m sure this is true, I think it’s generally a bad idea, when you’re posting, to assume that people will know who you are and know that you’re a good person.
I know that a number of people know each other on here. Friendships develop, family relationships exist, dopefests mean that posters near to each other meet, and so on. All of this is, or can be, at least, a good thing. However, while this is true, the vast number of people on this board means that, whoever you are, the majority of the board won’t know you and won’t care about you, and those people can read your posts just as well as your friends on here. So, I think it’s a mistake to be ambiguous in a post like that one. You’re going to be misunderstood.
I was one of the people who “didn’t get it” but later it of course became obvious what had actually happened. Since this actually happened (with malicious intent) to my father, I took the OP seriously at first. Perhaps since most people have no experience with people actually doing this to their children, I guess they would just assume it was a joke.
It was really annoying to have people imply that I am an idiot or need social skills in order to understand that the OP was a joke. I am neither an idiot nor socially retarded, and I certainly didn’t get “angry” at Anita once I figured it out. Let’s try to remember that the people on the SDMB have a wide range of experiences and lifestyles, your reaction is simply not going to be everyone else’s!!
Look at it this way: it’s like making a joke about child molestation. To one or two people, it’s not funny at all, no matter what the intent was behind it.
