If you’re looking for a great injustice, move along. I’ve just had a rough day, and this was the capper, and I want to whine.
My fiance and I live in the middle of nowhere. To be more accurate, y’know how some towns are just a wide spot in the road? The turnoff to our place is just past the sign that says Road Narrows. It’s hot, and we’ve been without water for two weeks because our plumber is…well, that’s a whole 'nother story. We’ve been without a phone for over a month because the phone company is…well, you know. My fiance works as a web design/multimedia type 70 miles from home. We have one car. We’ve been planning to get a second, just as soon as I find a job so we could afford it. We’re rolling-pennies-for-groceries broke right now, however. I just got hired to a job 90 miles from home, in the other direction. I know this is ridiculous, but I didn’t really have a choice. My only other worthwhile options were the gas station 25 miles away, or the one 50 miles away, and yes, I applied there.
So anyhow, I got hired, and it was good. He can sort of rearrange his schedule most of the time, so I leave for work at six in the morning, get home at seven at night, then he leaves, gets home at 5 am, and so forth. Just to make things fun, we got a long-awaited puppy two days before I knew I was going to be hired. he’s too young to be left alone, we’ve really just started to make potty-training progress. See, I applied for this job five months ago, and had given up hope. When we brought the puppy home, I had no idea that I wouldn’t be home with him all day. Now we are both exhausted when we get home, so we are having a hard time giving him the attention he deserves and getting any sleep, too. Potty trips every hour are hard on the snooze system.
(This is getting long, I know. Bear with me.) I really love the new job. It’s a nice office job with mediocre pay but benefits like the stuff dreams are made of, a terrific environment, and great people. Security is a big deal–a badge with a microchip to get in the door, a parking permit, which you transfer from vehicle to vehilce if you have more than one, and you have to fill out a whole 'nother form for each vehicle. If you get caught with a vehicle not on file, or without your parking permit, you get a quick $100 trip to the towing place.
And now to the point. Today, my fiance had to be in his office during the day, no matter what, because an exec with a division of Johnson & Johnson was dropping by and wanted a dog and pony show. The contract he represents makes up about 85% of my fiance’s company’s business, so this is a Big Deal. So last night when I got home from work, he drove me to my parents’ house, a three hour drive. For the next three days, I’ll be staying with them, and borrowing their car to get to work so he can get to work during the day. Yup, it’s 90 miles from here, too. But I can’t just take their car home with me, because they need it too. Also, somebody has to be with the pup. So now that we’ve both been getting 2-4 hours sleep a night for the last week, we dragged in at midnight, cought three hours of sleep, them we both split for our respective workplaces. I didn’t realize until much later that I left my shiny new parking permit in our car, which I won’t see again until the weekend.
so at work today, I asked about getting another, and the supervisor said no big deal, just let Security know. So that what I did. Big mistake.
Did I understand that they’re only supposed to issue one per person? Yes sir, I understand completely. Did I realize we get those things for a REASON?? Yes sir, and I’m sorry to be a bother. It was just a mistake, and it won’t happen again. Did I realize that you can’t just go leaving these things anywhere, and how irresponsible this is?? Of course, and I feel bad, but there’s nothing I can do now. I really need a new one, or a temporary one, or something. but he wouldn’t quit. When he actually started yelling at me, said that from now on I’d just park in the next county and walk in, and thanks for your help. And then I walked out. A different guard caught up with me a minute later, and would I please come back in, because now they could get me a new permit. I did, and got another ten minutes of browbeating. The actual permit-issuing took about 14 seconds.
What. The. Fukk. I apologized. I admitted I had fucked up. I asked nicely. This company employs about 15,000 people worldwide, and I’m apparently the first scum-sucking goat-turd in the history of the world to ever have misplaced a lousy parking tag. Well, fuck me to tears. They told us that if you lose the microchip badge thingy, it’s five bucks and about ten minutes to replace it. No big deal, they said. In fact, the day after I was hired, there was some ‘computer glitch’ and the computer lost all the information for about 50 new hires, so all those badges (including mine) were taken back and replaced. Took two minutes for a new picture, and we got new badges an hour later. But the three-inch plastic parking tag is apparently the determining factor in the course of the next nuclear war.
Well, Mr. Security, I hope you go home tonight beaming with pride because you have so effectively stamped out this heinous threat. May you be blessed with the knowledge that parking lots everywhere are just that much safer because of you.
That’s about all the anger I can sustain. The puppy is made of equal parts Magic Cuteness and Big Wet Loves. I’m painfully aware that my fiance has made tremendous sacrifices so that I could take this job, and he hasn’t complained a bit. I know this will all be worthwhile soon, and I’m terribly grateful for this opportunity.
And I hope Mr. Security gets his ass reamed enthusiastically with a large gas-powered weed whacker. Twice.
Jerk.
